Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yeah, we thought of everything. Except for the part where we both dressed as the same rock star.
Barry: You're supposed to be Oates, dummy!
Adam: I am Oates! You're supposed to be Hall!
Barry: This is what Hall looks like!
Both: [sing] Oh-oh, here she comes
Adam: Dude, Hall's the tall blond! Oates is the mustachioed one!
Both: [sing] Oh-oh, here she comes
Adam: You need to sing the Hall parts!
Barry: I just know the backing vocals!
Both: [sing] Oh-oh, here she comes
Barry: What are we gonna do?
Adam: I guess you sing the part you know.
Both: [sing] Oh-oh, here she comes She's a m- [test pattern appears]

Beverly: Jane couldn't set up mac with cheese.
Jane: I put cornflakes and lobster in mine, and it'll make your tongue cry.
Beverly: Ever set up a rabbi with a geisha? I have. Twice.
Jane: Once, I set up a man in a wheelchair with the woman who ran him down.
Beverly: I was once attacked by a mountain man on a hike who spoke only in grunts. After I got to safety, I set him up with a patent attorney from Boston. That's how good I am.
Bill Lewis: Maybe work together?
Beverly: Opposite! We are gonna go toe-to-toe in a no-holds-barred Yenta cage match. Winner take all!
Jane: A classic Yenta-Off. I'm in.
Bill Lewis: I just wanted someone to eat a meal with, but okay. Let's do this thing where you go to lady war.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, before Kickstarter, the best way to raise money for charity was telethons. These marathon sessions of entertainment had it all. From top-tier talent to tuxedoed hosts. So when Erica's friend Ren decided she wanted to raise money for Earth Day, she knew exactly how.
Geoff: This dog ballerina is transcendent! My mom still can't get Rugby to pee outside.
Erica: Damn. How long can she stand up on her paws like that?
Ren: Well, considering I have to fill another 36 hours of this telethon, I'm hoping 19 hours.
Geoff: And they're done. So, what's next?
Ren: I don't know, Geoff. Do you have any special talent besides asking stupid questions?
Geoff: Well, I guess I'm easily hurt by insults.
Ren: So that's a no. Thank you for your help.

Erica: Wow. Ren seems pretty stressed about the whole Earth Day thing.
Barry: She shouldn't be. 'Cause Barry's here, and the environment is clear!
Erica: That literally makes no sense. Plus, it's well-established that you are no friend of this planet.
Geoff: I saw you huck a Mountain Dew bottle into the woods.
Barry: Which then became a beaver's tool or weapon! Are you on the beaver's side or not?
Erica: Who's the beaver's enemy?
Barry: Chipmunks. Wolves. Coyotes. Foxes. Gators. Bigger beavers.

Erica: Just tell me why you're doing this.
Barry: To win Ren's heart. And all the other good parts.
Erica: Ugh! How many times do I have to say this? Just stay away from my friends!
Barry: Tell them to stay away from me! She kissed me twice!
Erica: On spring break! That is the one time a year that you are allowed to make horrible mistakes because of heatstroke and slushy rum drinks.

Beverly: Bill, did I hear you right? Are you really ready to be set up?
Murray: Where did you come from? I didn't even know you were in the house.
Bill Lewis: Well, I suppose it might be time to jump back on the old horse. As long as the horse is a lady and not too broken-down.
Beverly: Ohh, this is the best news! Oh, you're finally over your wife, and your heart is open to love.
Bill Lewis: Sure, it's that. And recently, my appendix broke and I couldn't find anyone to take me to the hospital for three days.
Murray: You know you can call.
Bill Lewis: I don't like to bother.
Beverly: Your remarkable tale of survival is gonna have a happy ending because Beverly Goldberg is on the case, and my Yenta-dex is ready to find you love.
Bill Lewis: Let's do it. It's time for Bill to flex his love muscle. Oh, I'm sorry. That was unnecessarily visual.

Beverly: Great news, Bill. Female loneliness is at an all-time high. Oh, [bleep] no.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was Jane Bales... The only Yenta in town Yenta enough to go toe-to-toe with my Yenta mom.
Jane: Hello, Beverly.
Beverly: Bill, please tell me you're not so desperate for human companionship that you'd hitch your cart to this old pack mule.

Erica: It's super simple. All you have to do is take down their name, info, and how much they'd like to pledge.
Geoff: And don't forget the "please" and "thank you." Also, I like to add a little "whoo-whoo-whoo!" if they pledge more than $50.
Barry: I got this. [answers phone] Go for Barry. Yes, this is Earth Day Headquarters. Who's this? Myron? That's a brutal name. Do your parents hate you? Also, please and thank you. [dial tone] Hello?
Ren: Yeah, Bar, I think you might be suited for a more important role in the Earth Day celebration... As a producer.
Barry: I like the sound of that! It's so vague and powerful.
Ren: So, I need you to produce some sweat towels for our ventriloquist on a unicycle. Thanks so much.

Barry: Adam, I'm tagging you back in.
Adam: Just find something Ren likes and do that.
Barry: As boring as that sounds, that might work. She needs a celebrity for her charity telethon.
Pops: So get her a celebrity. You'll be a hero, and she'll shower you with kisses.
Barry: I like this shower-kiss plan. Finally, your tired brain kicked in.
Barry: But what celebrity can I score on such short notice?
Adam: But I heard John Oates of R&B super duo Daryl Hall & John Oates went to our dentist once.
Barry: It's decided! Adam will pretend to need a checkup, break into the files, retrieve Oates' personal details, bring 'em to me, I'll cold-call him and convince him with my insurmountable charm to play for whatever charity this is for.
Adam: It's Earth Day. And why can't you go?
Barry: I was just there two years ago... Too suspicious. Move it!

Murray: Ah, the Phillies suck! Where's Bill? I need him to boo our favorite team together.
Beverly: Please. Bill's probably waking up in a bathtub full of ice because Jane Bales' match has taken his spleen, liver, and nipple.
Murray: No one steals a nipple.
Beverly: You don't know! Those sensitive little buttons are in big demand on the black market. They put 'em in soups.
Murray: I guess I asked.