Geoff: Cool! Driving gloves!
Joanne: Yeah.
Geoff: Hope they don't turn me into Mario Andretti!
Erica: I think it'll be okay. You haven't made a left turn in three years.
Geoff: That's true.

Erica: What the hell, dude? I don't wanna be mean, but you and your family are straight-up freaks!
Geoff: That's incredibly mean, and why?
Barry: Dude, who's a better kisser... your sister, my sister? It's a trick question. It's your father. [chuckles] I'm dying.
Erica: I think you even enjoyed smooching them. Your dad definitely did... his eyes twinkled.
Geoff: Of course he did. He loves us and wants to express it.
Barry: Big time. [as Lou] "Geoffrey! Bring your puffy mouth pillows over here! Your father wants everyone's smackers to meet!"
Geoff: Okay, that's incredibly accurate in voice and demeanor, but the words are all wrong.

Erica: I wanna do Lou.
Geoff: Please don't.
Erica: [as Lou] "Geoffrey, I demand we go to first base as a family!"
Barry: [as Lou] "Geoffrey, canoodle with your father!"
Erica: "Geoffrey, bite my neck a little. Let me know that you're flirty but dangerous!"
Geoff: Okay. That seems way too far.
Erica: And yet there's still more. "Geoffrey, we're both eye men, but today we become lip men! Come give your papa some action!"
Barry: That's your father! He gives you affection!

Beverly: Mama will make it better.
Adam: Gah! Where did you come from?!
Beverly: A good mama's always just a few meters behind her babies.
Adam: I don't think that's right. And why meters?

Andy: I don't know, Bar. I mean, all of us have pretty good relationships with our families.
Matt: My sister is my best friend. I tell her things I wouldn't even tell you guys. We even have a secret language. Well, not that secret... it's Spanish.

Andy: And the Cogans are a tiny people, but our hugging arms are huge.

Naked Rob: I don't have a sister, but, uh, if I did, we'd hold hands. Sometimes I draw us together. The family therapist recommended stopping.

Dave Kim: Scandalous news! You know how you and Brea decided to be friends?
Adam: I'm fairly aware, Dave Kim.
Dave Kim: I think Brea's moved on faster than you. I intercepted this note Walls and her were passing back and forth in history.
Adam: Why is it sticky?
Dave Kim: I spilled marmalade on it.
Emmy: Why are you eating marmalade in class?
Dave Kim: Just read the note.
Adam: "Hey, do you wanna go to the Valentine's dance..." The jam obscured the rest.
Dave Kim: Marmalade's not a jam. Sure, it combines the sweetness of a jam with the bitterness of citrus peel...
Emmy: Enough marmalade talk, Dave Kim!

Barry: You know what would make tonight extra special?
Geoff: Oh, please don't do what I think you're definitely gonna do.
Barry: [as Lou] "Geoffrey! Pretend I'm Richard Dawson and you're an entire lady family!"
Erica: [as Lou] "Geoffrey, the bottle's pointing at Papa again!"
Barry: "Geoffrey! Drive me to the overlook in your van for some light necking!"
Erica: "Geoffrey, I just popped in a Certs and a Luther Vandross cassette."

Geoff: How would it feel if I did an impersonation of your mom? [as Beverly] "Schmoopie-poopies! I made you in my body, and I can't get enough snuggies and huggies!"
Beverly: Hello, Geoffrey.
Geoff: Aah!
Beverly: You think the affection I have for my children is something to be mocked?
Barry: What's your problem, dude?
Erica: Not cool. That's our mom.