Previous Episode Next Episode 

38Quotes from ‘The Dynamic Duo’

The Goldbergs: The Dynamic Duo

420. The Dynamic Duo

Aired April 5, 2017

Barry feels left out when Adam and Pops go see the new Batman movie. Meanwhile, Erica resists her parents' wishes for her to attend Penn State by tanking the interview.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Come on. Let's go see Adam West on the big screen before your dad ruins it forever.
Adam: Actually, the new movie stars Michael Keaton.
Pops: The guy who plays Beetle-Buzz?
Adam: Beetlejuice.
Pops: Beetle-Jazz can't be Batm'n.

Rate

Quote from Murray

Murray: Let's get something straight, little missy. Graduating from Penn State is the greatest accomplishment of my life.
Erica: Too bad, Dad. I'm going to Carnegie Mellon.
Murray: You are going to Penn State. It is cheaper, it's more affordable, and it costs less.
Erica: That's the same thing said three different ways!

Quote from Barry

Barry: Well, well, well. If it isn't Adamander Goldberg in the flesh.
Adam: Adamander?
Barry: We need to talk, my friend.
Adam: You think Adam is short for Adamander?
Barry: It's time to pay the piper.
Adam: Do you think it's like Alexander?
Barry: Forget the name!

Quote from Pops

Pops: Batm'n.
Adam: Batman.
Pops: That's what I said. Batm'n.
Adam: No, you're saying "Batm'n." Listen. I'm Batman!
Pops: I'm Batm'n.
Adam: I'm Batman!
Pops: I'm Batm'n.
Adam: I'm Batman! I'm Batman!
Pops: I'm Batm'n.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: College dropout?! I'm married to a college dropout?!
Murray: You're a college dropout.
Beverly: I dropped out to marry you, dropout!

Quote from Murray

Erica: You both lectured me my entire life on how important college is, and now I find out that neither of you even graduated?
Murray: I was one credit short. You know, if I eat 99% of a sandwich, I still ate a sandwich!

Quote from Beverly

Erica: Son of a bitch! I got rejected.
Beverly: Carnegie Mellon rejected my baby? (scoffs) Well, I'm never buying another melon! From this moment on, this family eats tree fruits only. No more scoopable fruits. You hear me?

Quote from Murray

Adam: Pops, I have the biggest news in your 80-some years of life. A Batman movie's coming out, and it's going to be awesome.
Pops: Batm'n? I'm in. Me and your dad love the old Adam West TV show. Didn't we, Murray?
Murray: (As Adam West) It appears to me, Commissioner Gordon, that the Joker, Riddler, and the Catwoman have escaped.
Adam: What is that? What is he doing?
Pops: I think that's Adam West as Batm'n.
Murray: Your inability to identify this spot-on impression is criminal.

Quote from Murray

Murray: (as Adam West) There is only one Caped Crusader, and that is me.
Adam: Stop it!
Barry: Why is he doing that weird voice?
Adam: 'Cause we're going to see "Batman."
Barry: I've been waiting to see that for months. I'm gonna grab my coat and pound a couple of Jolts want to make sure I'm really wired when I yell things back at the screen.
Murray: It appears the Batcave is all mine to watch the Bat-Television in my Bat-Underpants.

Quote from Barry

Barry: What the hell? You guys ditched me, now I'm walking around like a schmuck, begging strangers to move over?
Pops: We were just so excited to see the movie. You get it.
Barry: I don't get it! Where's my seat?
Adam: I think there's a couple seats in the front row.
Barry: So you expect me to sit alone in the front row, craning my neck up at the giant screen like putz-bag?

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Well, you always need a backup. That's why I always bake two pies, in case Murray eats one while sleepwalking.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Penn State is amazing! That place made your father everything he is today.
Murray: Bevy. I lost another hot dog.
Beverly: What? Why does this keep happening?
Murray: I guess 'cause my, uh, gesturing hand is also my hot-dog-holding hand.
Erica: I think my point here is proven.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Yo, dude! Sorry I'm two hours late.
Kyle Schnitz: Uh, well, three. (chuckles) No worries. Come on in.
Erica: Oh! Two points!
Kyle Schnitz: Oh, wow. There's not even a trash can there. (chuckles) Have a seat. I'm Kyle Schnitz, and it is very nice to meet you. My favorite part of being an alum is getting to interview all kinds of great students.
Erica: Oh, full disclosure. I'm not so much a, uh, great student as I am a cheater.
Kyle Schnitz: I'm sorry?
Erica: Aww. That's a cute dog you got there.
Kyle Schnitz: Oh, uh, thank you. Yes, that's Ruffles. He's a rescue.
Erica: No, I'm talking about your wife. Boom! Upstairs! (chuckles) Just gonna leave me hanging like that? Lame.
Kyle Schnitz: Let's just forge onward, shall we? Um, so what programs at Penn State are you most excited to- Oh, my! What are you doing?
Erica: (muffled) Taking on this meatball sub like a champ. Want some, Kenny?
Kyle Schnitz: It's Kyle. Uh, would you please not get sauce all over my- Gah! Damn it. That's my name placard.
Erica: All right. Let me, uh, cut to the chase here, Kyle. I am one hell of a singer. I mean, check out these pipes. (clears throat) Kyle Schnitz smells like farts. Oh, stinky, stinky farts. That was right off the top of the dome.
Kyle Schnitz: And interview over.

Quote from Barry

Barry: What's in the oven, dudes?
Adam: Don't look in the oven, Barry.
Barry: You better not be doing what I think you're doing.
Pops: Don't look in the oven.
Barry: I'm going to the oven. I'm looking inside. Oh, my God! You two made Batman Shrinky Dinks without me? You know I live for shrinking dinks.
Pops: We know that. Everyone knows that!
Barry: There's only two shrunken dinks, man! Not three dinks. Just two!
Adam: Yeah, 'cause it's one dink for me and one dink for you.
Barry: Don't! Just don't. You're gonna pay for this.
Pops: Oh, Barry, come back. You can have my dink. You can have my dink, Barry!

Quote from Barry

Barry: And action... is my favorite movie genre. Which reminds me, I saw you watching that old Batman TV show. Pops was right. Adam West is better than Keaton.
Adam: Pops doesn't know the first thing about Batman. He doesn't even say it right. He says "Batm'n."
Barry: But you told Pops you love his show. It kind of sounds like you lied to his face.
Adam: I had to. It's just It's so corny!
Barry: Say it louder.
Adam: I mean, it made no sense at all. They had a bat-calendar.
Barry: Move more into the light.
Adam: And bat shark repellent? Why would a superhero even have that on his utility belt?
Barry: Why?! So you don't just reject Pops' Batman. You reject Pops as a human old person?
Adam: Nah, I'm just humoring him. All that old-timey stuff he likes, it's just not for me.
Barry: And cut.
Adam: Why would you say that?
Barry: No reason. I always like our talks. Go away now.

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Mr. Glascott: Are any of you familiar with the International Correspondence School? You may have seen their catchy TV commercials starring America's sweetheart, Sally Struthers.
Murray: Don't.
Mr. Glascott: Ooh, look. In just two short years, you can get a degree in TV/VCR repair.
Erica: But I don't want to fix TVs.
Mr. Glascott: Well, luckily, you have a bunch of other options gun repair, child daycare, learning the personal computer.
Murray: We're seeing the same thing you are. You don't have to read it out loud!
Mr. Glascott: Interior decorating? Cooking? Art? Air condition and maintenance? I mean, what does this school not have?
Murray: A campus.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Well, I am getting you into Penn State. No child of mine will deal with the consequences of her actions.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: So this is why you wouldn't help, because you've been lying for three decades?
Murray: I feel bad, and I say that from the bottom of my heart and also to end this conversation.

Quote from Pops

Barry: Adam said some pretty nasty words about everything you love. Can't imagine what you must be thinking right now.
Pops: I think you secretly taped Adam in a weird attempt to turn us against each other.
Barry: How dare you, sir!
Pops: You told Adam to stand in better light. You really need to learn how to grift someone, kiddo.

Quote from Pops

Beverly: What on Earth are you two doing?
Pops: No need to be alarmed, citizen. We are crime-fighting professionals.
Beverly: Get off the side of the house, or I'll kill both Batmans.
Adam: See, that's how you say it.
Pops: I'm walking off this picture.


 Episode 419 Episode 421 
  Select another episode