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30Quotes from ‘The Ring’

The Goldbergs: The Ring

105. The Ring

Aired October 22, 2013

When Erica and Barry help Murray clear out the garage, they find a treasure trove of Murray's old love letters. The only problem is they're not for Beverly, but a woman he was previously engaged to, Anita. Beverly already knew about Murray's previous relationship, but after she pokes around she learns something surprising about her engagement ring. Meanwhile, after Adam's attempt to impress his neighbor, Dana Caldwell, fall flat, he seeks Pops' advice. After listening to Pops, Adam tries a big romantic gesture to win Dava over.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Pfft. Why are you asking Pops for help when you got all the resources you need right here?
Adam: You don't know anything about girls.
Barry: I know a ton. I've got a super hot girlfriend.
Adam: Yeah, from Canada that no one's ever seen.
Barry: 'Cause I met her at camp, ya sausage gobbler!

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Quote from Murray

Beverly: How could you give me her ring?
Murray: What do you think I'm made of, diamonds? You can't just return these!

Quote from Barry

Erica: Really? 'Cause I thought you were in the large-chested girl bunk.
Barry: Original.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Think you can help me out with some girl stuff?
Pops: What happened to Miss Canada?
Barry: Long distance. It's killing us. We never talk, and when we do, we fight.
Pops: She's not real.

Quote from Adam

Pops: I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here, but I gotta say, this looks weird.
Adam: It's not weird. I'm just filming a girl I like. To play the tape back later to practice talking to her.
Pops: Oh boy.
Adam: It's weird.

Quote from Murray

Murray: All right, anything under ten dollars, toss. All that crappy art from when you were kids, toss.

Quote from Murray

Barry: "There is no me, only us My sweet Anita"? What? It says here you were gonna have a wedding? Anita?
Erica: Who's Anita?
Barry: Oh, I see what's going on here. You have a secret family.
Murray: If I had a secret family, why would I be standing here talking to you people?

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I thought I could keep a straight face, but I can't.
Murray: So you're not mad at me?
Beverly: No, I'm worried. How are your loins? Have they stopped burning? Is your heart still aflutter?

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: He writes romantic stuff to me all the time. Look, here's my birthday card.
Erica: "X O X O Murray."
Beverly: Well, the Xs are for kisses, and the Os for hugs. And Murray is who it's from. Doesn't matter what he writes. We are more in love than ever.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Is this one of those Soviet bikes? 'Cause I only deal with American equipment. U.S.A!
Dana: Maybe I'll just have my dad fix it.
Adam: Makes sense. Keep it in the family.

Quote from Barry

Adam: You couldn't come up with something a little more original? I mean, a fake girlfriend in Canada?
Barry: Hey! There's nothing fake about her except her boobs! Yep, they're huge and real. But, they're also fake. You know what? I don't have to explain it to you. I'm outta here.
Pops: Her breasts sound very complicated.

Quote from Pops

Pops: So where are we at with this Dana girl?
Adam: Well, I've been secretly following her around for two weeks.
Pops: Creating a sense of mystery.
Adam: And today I broke her bicycle.
Pops: Good. You made a memorable first impression.
Adam: And I kinda cried in front of her.
Pops: Some women like a sensitive man.

Quote from Barry

Barry: You can't help him, pops. He's unhelpable. He'll never get a girlfriend even half as hot as mine.
Adam: Yeah? What's her name? Tell me right now. Go.
Barry: Marion Lemieux.
Adam: Marion Lemieux? Like Mario Lemieux, the hockey player?
Barry: Yeah! It's a common last name in Canada, like "Smith" or "Jones". I was trying to be nice to you, but forget it. I'm outta here.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Pfft, waste of time.
Pops: Here we go.
Barry: This nerd has no clue with the ladies.
Adam: Yeah? Let's call Marion right now.
Barry: Think I won't? 'Cause I will. That's what I'm asking you to do. I don't need this! I'm outta here.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: What made you pick this exact ring for me?
Murray: When I saw it, it spoke to me.
Beverly: Aww. What did it say?
Murray: "I'm a pretty ring. Buy me."

Quote from Murray

Murray: If it'll make you feel any better, I will get you a new ring.
Beverly: Great. Get me a new ring.
Murray: What? You can't say that. Why would I get you a new ring?
Beverly: It was your idea!
Murray: Yeah, but I'm filled with terrible ideas! I gave you a used ring, for God sake.

Quote from Adam

Pops: Calm down, kiddo. We can fix this.
Adam: We can't! I serenaded her brother, I dropped my boombox, and I soaked my Lloyd dobler coat.
Pops: I understood none of that.

Quote from Adam

Pops: Did you take my advice?
Adam: Yes, a big gesture. I stood outside her window and blasted music at her.
Pops: Why would you do that?
Adam: You told me to!
Pops: I meant take her out for a milkshake.
Adam: How is a milkshake a big gesture?
Pops: For you, it's big.
Adam: You should have been more specific!

Quote from Adam

Pops: Wait. Don't go, kiddo. We can just regroup.
Adam: Forget it. The movies lie. None of it's real! Love isn't real.
Barry: Tell that to my girlfriend.
Adam and Pops: She's not real!

Quote from Murray

Clerk: Do you have anything in particular in mind?
Beverly: Don't look at me. Just pick something that speaks to you.
Murray: Okay. All right, this one's talking up a storm. How much is it?
Clerk: That one is $5,000.
Murray: Is that the one I pointed to?
Clerk: You pointed at that one, yeah.
Murray: It just stopped speaking to me. Stopped completely.

Quote from Murray

Murray: All right, you know what? We're gonna get you the $5,000 ring, and you can be the one who tells Adam that his teeth are gonna be crooked for the rest of his life.

Quote from Barry

Barry: What's happening?
Erica: Dad bought mom a spite ring, and now she's wearing the spite ring to spite him.
Barry: Lot of love problems around here. Not Barry. I keep my lady satisfied.
Erica: Dude I was at camp with you. There's no girl named Marion Lemieux.
Barry: She was in the large-chested foxy girl bunk, and you were in the annoying sister bunk, so you probably never crossed paths.

Quote from Adam

Murray: What's going on?
Adam: I just wanna be alone, okay? Like how I'll be for the rest of my life.
Murray: What are you talking about? You're ten years old.
Adam: I'm twelve.

Quote from Murray

Adam: And I really screwed things up with a girl.
Murray: Yeah? Tell me about it.
Adam: Well, her name's Dana-
Murray: No, I didn't mean tell me about it, "tell me about it". I meant, I screwed up with a girl, too.
Adam: My gosh. So is the girl mom?
Murray: Yes, it's mom!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I hate my new ring. I'm gonna take it back tomorrow.
Murray: But the man said no returns.
Beverly: I'll guilt him into it. It's what I do.


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