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26Quotes from ‘The Kremps’

The Goldbergs: The Kremps

108. The Kremps

Aired November 12, 2013

Adam makes a new friend in Chad Kremp, who Adam's geeky interests. Unfortunately for them, their parents could not be more different. Beverly tries to invite them to a barbecue, but the respectable Kremps dodge her invitation. Unfortunately, nobody can dodge Beverly Goldberg forever. When Beverly's insistence pays off, the Kremps come over for a barbecue, but soon Adam's at risk of losing his best friend.

Quote from Murray

Barry: Dad, we gotta get a second phone line.
Murray: Two phone lines? What does this look like, the White House?

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Quote from Murray

Beverly: Well, that's the problem right there. You' not friendly, you don't say hi, you water the yard in your underpants. It's disconcerting. It's like you're trying to drive people away.
Murray: That's because I am trying to drive people away.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Oh come on. I had nothing planned this weekend. It was perfect.

Quote from Adam

Adam: What the hell's the H word?

Quote from Barry

Murray: What kind of moron gets stuck in a tree?
Barry: Adam said I couldn't climb this high. I showed him.
Adam: You sure did!

Quote from Murray

Murray: If you don't come down right now, I'm gonna go get the hose.
Beverly: You're not gonna spray our son.

Quote from Erica

Barry: Get off the phone. Get off the phone. Get off the phone.
Erica: Hold on, Lainey.
Barry: Get off the phone. Get off the phone.
Erica: I'm talking. Go away or I'll punch you in the soft part of your skull.
Barry: Mom told you not to punch me there.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Your life is so sad and simple.

Quote from Pops

Pops: You know, when I was your age, I was a radio man with the 103rd working with the French and the British. We shared one line, and we still managed to win the war.

Quote from Pops

Pops: A second line. Is that even possible with all those wires crossing in and out. Can they even do that?

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Well, that's why you have no friends, Murray.
Murray: I live in a house full of people who won't leave me the hell alone. That's all the friends I need.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Go over and apologize for being a pantsless grumpy-pants.
Murray: I should apologize for being me?
Beverly: Yes!

Quote from Murray

Murray: This place smells great.
Charles Kremp: It's the Gardenias. It's a perk of the job. I'm a florist.
Murray: How about that? We have a flower spray that we keep in the bathroom. It tries.

Quote from Murray

Murray: It's you!
Beverly: What?
Murray: You heard me. It's not me that's the problem. It's you.
Beverly: What did I do?
Murray: You scare the women. Scare her but good.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: How can she not like me?
Murray: You yell. You yell inside. You yell outside. And apparently, you climbed up on a garbage truck to yell at the garbage man. And he drove halfway down the block with you hanging off the back.
Beverly: And then he drove back and picked up our old sink. You're welcome.

Quote from Beverly

Murray: You still want to have a barbecue with these people even though that woman's terrified of you?
Beverly: Not any more. I woke up early this morning, followed her for two miles on foot, then chased her down and convinced her there's nothing scary about me.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: (whispering) I brought you some wine.
Virginia: What?
Beverly: (whispering) I brought you some wine.
Virginia: I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
Beverly: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so naturally soft-spoken. I brought you some wine.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Murray, wake the [bleep] up!

Quote from Pops

Adam: Okay, and we're rolling. Action.
Pops: What's my first line?
Adam: Okay, seriously? You got fruit punch on your suit?
Pops: It's okay. I've given the character a lot of thought. This robot loves fruit punch. He's a messy robot.

Quote from Pops

Adam: I told you, you're not a robot. You're a progam living inside a digital computer world.
Pops: Or instead of him going to a computer world, how about he goes to a juice world?
Adam: There's no such thing as a juice world.
Pops: But computer worlds are real?

Quote from Adam

Adam: His mom just said we can't play together for a while.
Beverly: What?! The nerve of that women. I'm marching over there right now and giving her a piece of my mind.
Adam: No! Wait. Your mind is the part that scares her the most. Promise me you won't go over there. Please. It'll just make it worse.

Quote from Adam

Adam: At least close the door and don't turn on the lights. Darkness is my only friend.


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