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‘A Fish Story’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Goldbergs: A Fish Story

717. A Fish Story

Aired March 18, 2020

Beverly wants Murray and Adam to spend some father-son time together camping, like the Kremps. Meanwhile, Geoff encourages Erica to get back on the music scene by joining an a cappella group.

Quote from Andy

Erica: Okay, well, let's see what else we're working with. Andy, go.
Andy: [sings high-pitched note]
Erica: That was beautiful and haunting.
Andy: I was a soprano in children's choir until puberty cursed me. My parents forced me to take a series of shots, but the tide of manhood came anyway.

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Quote from Murray

Beverly: Adam, tell me the truth right now.
Adam: Fine! We faked everything and bought that at the market!
Murray: Moron! We had it made!
Adam: We would have been if you weren't a cheapskate and bought fish that wasn't on sale!
Murray: I don't know from fish! And I can't believe I spent a half-hour fake camping with you.
Adam: Don't worry. I'll never go fake camping with you again.
Murray: Look what you've done! You've embarrassed your mother in front of Charleston, Lindy, and little Chim-Chim!
Virginia: Lindy?
Chad: Chim-Chim?

Quote from Adam

Murray: Now we got to freeze out here all night for nothing.
Adam: We can start a fire.
Murray: You know how to start a fire?
Adam: I think you rub a stick on a rock and then blow on it.
Murray: You blow on a stick and a rock?
Adam: I don't know. I'm an inside kid, not a frontiersman.

Quote from Erica

Geoff: Guess who has two thumbs and great news, even though one of those thumbs was injured opening a bottle of Snapple and I should see a doctor.
Erica: Just say the thing, Geoff.
Geoff: This guy! Ow. I got us two tickets to see The Go-Go's.
Erica: Pass.
Geoff: But The Go-Go's are your favorite band.
Erica: Just take Barry or one of the other misshapen dopes in the JTP.
Geoff: Barry doesn't like girl rock. He said it scares and titillates him. And then he giggled when he said "titillate," like, a lot.
Erica: He lost it when our Aunt Rose had angina.

Quote from Geoff

Erica: What the hell is that?
Barry: The sound of angels or possibly human ladies? They're making instrument noises with their beautiful mouths.
Geoff: Oh, no, Erica. It's a cappella music. Should I spray them with a garden hose or wing a trash can lid at them?

Quote from Murray

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was March 18th, 1980-something, and like always, my dad was fighting with the VCR.
Murray: Damn it! I need my Night Court! It's the only thing that brings me joy.
Adam: What about your family?
Murray: I said what I said.
Adam: Why do you always smack everything?
Murray: Maybe it'll jar something loose.
Adam: [chuckles] You mean the delicate electronic components?

Quote from Murray

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yeah, my dad hated technology.
Murray: Soften my potato!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And technology hated him back.
Murray: I got a message for you! You're a piece of crap!
Murray: Stop skipping. Stop skipping. Stop skipping!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But nothing agitated him more than our dot matrix printer. He always had it out with that thing. No one loved capturing the rage more than me.
Murray: Ah! Damn printer! It's stuck again!
Adam: Once again, the mighty printer has bested its most intense rival, the lazy, dumb man.
Murray: Put your stupid camera down and help me!

Quote from Adam

Beverly: Murray, stop yelling at Adam. He's just a boy.
Murray: I don't care if he's 12. He's aggravating me.
Adam: I'm 17. I've tried beer. Not a fan, but I've heard good things about banana daiquiris.
Beverly: Please, Schmoo, you're not an adult yet. I've seen your little banana daiquiri.
Adam: What... What did you say? I just blacked out.
Murray: [laughs] And I got it all on videotape. How does it feel?
Adam: Hilarious. You pressed the "off" button.
Murray: Damn complicated buttons!

Quote from Adam

Beverly: Will you two get out here and help me bring in the groceries?
Murray: You couldn't have brought a bag with you on your way in?
Beverly: You too, Adam.
Adam: I guess I got to the age where I carry stuff now.

Quote from Andy

All: [harmonizing] Come, come, come in
Barry: Yeah.
Erica: The hell's this?
Barry: This is the Barry-Tones, my new musical mouth quartet.
Naked Rob: I'm the bass.
Matt: I'm also the bass.
Andy: What's a bass?

Quote from Adam

Adult Adam: [v.o.] With our fake fishing trip cut short, the only choice we had was to show my mom what we caught.
[on TV :]
Adam: This is the best.
Murray: It sure is! You know, this fishing pole is nature's TV remote.
Adam: Don't you dare change that channel.
Murray: [chuckles] You're my son.
Adam: You're my dad.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Sure, it was sloppy and unbelievable, but my mom ate it all up.
Murray: You know, it's late. We should get some rest.
Adam: We have been fishing for 10 hours.
Murray: Well, that's the normal amount of time.
Adam: Hmm. And action.
Murray: Good night, tiger.
Adam: Right back atcha, tiger.
Murray: How many times I got to tell you, you don't... [static crackles] I love camping.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: [laughs] It happened! Oh! [laughs] I brought the men in my life together!
Adam: So, you thought this was... good?
Beverly: It was [bleep] amazing!
Murray: This worked nice. So, I'll see you around chow time.
Beverly: Damn right you will. I'm inviting Ginzy and her bland family over so I can rub your camping love in their fat faces!
Adam: Wait, this isn't over?
Beverly: It's just beginning. I'm cooking up the fish you caught with a side of suck it, Ginzy!
Adam: Oh, no! The Kremps know fish! They'll expose our terrible lies!
Murray: Nah. All you gotta say when they ask you something is, "They were practically jumping into the boat."
Adam: Those are words that people say.
Murray: Those are words that people say.

Quote from Naked Rob

Erica: Doesn't matter. Everyone give me your best middle C. [all vocalize off-key]
Naked Rob: Oh, yeah!
Erica: Did someone just say the words "Oh, yeah"?
Naked Rob: Oh, yeah!
Erica: Why would you do that?
Naked Rob: I don't really sing.

Quote from Matt

Erica: Moving on. Matt Bradley.
Matt: [clears throat] [sings off-key note] Sorry, I'm actually medically deaf after I dove in the ice to save that dog.
Barry: Ha! That's what you get.

Quote from Murray

Virginia: Oh, Beverly, it's such a rare occasion that you invite us all over for dinner.
Beverly: Nonsense, Ginzy. I'm sure we've had you over many times.
Charles: This is actually the farthest I've ever made it into your home.
Murray: You're always over here strapping on the old feedbag, Leroy.
Charles: It's Charles. And I've been your neighbor for 20 years.
Murray: [chuckling] I don't think so. Bring it to me again.
Charles: Charles.
Murray: Like the chew?
Chad: You mean the Charleston Chew?
Murray: Exactly. Quality bar. Hey, can I top off your tea, Charleston?

Quote from Murray

Virginia: You know, Beverly, what kind of fish is this?
Beverly: The finest lake fish. And unlike your lazy men, mine cleaned, boned, and filleted it for me.
Adam: Did we, now? Dad?
Murray: Yeah, they were practically jumping in the boat.
Charles: This is clearly a swordfish steak.
Murray: Jumping in the boat.
Virginia: That's a 1,000-pound ocean fish.
Murray: Oh-ho! In the boat!
Beverly: Please tell these people that this is not a giant saltwater animal.
Murray: Well, no, no, it's a brand-new fish. It's a, uh, lake swordfish.

Quote from Adam

Beverly: Huh. A new giant lake fish. Adam?
Adam: I suppose that could happen. I... I mean, in Jaws 4, a shark held a grudge and followed a family down the Eastern Seaboard to terrorize them. So, yeah, that's, like, our fish.
Beverly: Jaws 4?
Adam: It wasn't very good. But now might be a nice time to retire to the den and watch it.

Quote from Erica

Geoff: Look, you haven't been the same since you turned your back on music.
Erica: I was just jamming out to that song in that elevator.
Geoff: You got out a floor early because you didn't want to hear Corey Hart for the millionth time.
Erica: We get it! He wears his sunglasses at night. I wear my pajama pants to the grocery store, but you don't hear me bragging all over the radio.

Quote from Geoff

Geoff: Babe, music was your life. It brought you so much joy. And now you're just... kinda frowny.
Erica: Frowny?
Geoff: But it's a hot frown. Like, so kissable and alluring and... There it is. Come on, gimme some of that sexy grimace.

Quote from Barry

Lisa: Thanks, guys! I'm Lisa Levine, and that's just a taste of the Molly Sing-walds. If anybody's interested in our group, we're gonna be having auditions this...
All: [sing] Tuesday
Erica: I'll have one of those.
Geoff: This random encounter re-ignited her love of music!
Barry: [off-key] I'll be there. Lisa Levine. I will join your foxy beatbox crew.
Geoff: No, Barry. Erica needs this.
Barry: Fliers cannot be shared! You ripped it! Now I'll never know if they're meeting at 4:00 a.m. or 4:00 p.m.
Geoff: It's just a piece of paper! They have a whole stack!

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