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Blade Runner: The Musical

‘Blade Runner: The Musical’

Season 10, Episode 11 -  Aired January 11, 2023

Beverly tries to get Adam out of his creative funk by getting him the director's role on the school musical. Meanwhile, Erica tries to get Geoff to spend more time with the JTP and less time in her new moms group.

Quote from Naked Rob

Naked Rob: And being naked is not as easy as it used to be. I have a court date. I'm not totally sure I'm allowed to be with your baby.
Erica: I feel like that's something you should've mentioned earlier.


Quote from Matt

Matt: Wait. You think we don't worry about stuff? After four years, I'm still folding red jeans at the Gap. I was there when the mannequins had heads. I've seen it all.

Quote from Andy

Andy: I just turned 22 and I haven't had a relationship besides the will-they-won't-they tension I have with my grandma's in-home healthcare worker.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Surprise! I bought you Apple's first portable computer.
Adam: Portable? That looks huge.
Beverly: Oh, it's only 16 barely-back-breaking pounds. You can take it anywhere as long as you stretch first.
Adam: And isn't that incredibly expensive?
Beverly: Big time, but with this, you'll open doors to your imagination. PC World called it, "Powerful and cumbersome."
Adam: I think I'm all set.
Beverly: Nonsense. You need to get back to your real passion... writing. Let me just turn this on for you. [computer chirps, whirs] Ah, listen to all that metal working.
Adam: Yeah, I'm just not really feeling the juices flowing today, so...
Beverly: Then let Mama be your muse. Drink me in and then write about the white-hot love I bring out in you.
Adam: You certainly elicit a response.
Beverly: Then put me in a script. You could pen the sequel to Throw Momma from the Train. Only this time, keep her on the train.
Adam: What a fun idea. You start hacking away at that, while I run upstairs and put the finishing touches on giving up. [exits]
Beverly: Schmoo, come back! This thing can go anywhere. [picks up PC; groans] Oh.

Quote from Barry

Matt: How are we supposed to instantly understand what it's like to be a father?
Barry: With the help of the cinematic romp Three Men and a Baby.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was the classic '80s comedy starring three clueless bachelors figuring out how to take care of a baby, and the JTP studied hard, learning the art of diapering, powdering, and singing babies to sleep. Then it was time to try it themselves.
Naked Rob: This is boring.
Andy: How are we supposed to practice being dads if she's asleep?
Matt: I mean, we could wake her up.
Barry: Erica gave us very specific babysitting details. Which I left downstairs. Now, let's wake this baby.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so the JTP applied everything they remembered from the movie, which was, unfortunately, not much. They forgot how to put on a diaper, then they got into a powder fight... a long one. But eventually, they did remember one thing.
All: ♪ Goodnight, sweetheart ♪ ♪ Well, it's time to go ♪ ♪ Ba-dum, ba-dum ♪ ♪ I hate to leave you, but I really must say ♪ ♪ Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight ♪

Quote from Adam

Adult Adam: [v.o.] They say, "The show must go on." And it did. Just without me.
Beverly: Horror of horrors! What are you doing?
Adam: Accepting my fate. I'm just a mop jockey now.
Beverly: God. Well, thanks to the middle-class bubble I raised you in, you know nothing of mopping.
Adam: With the water and the soap and that rinse-y thing, I'm sure I'll figure it out after a few weeks.

Quote from Geoff

Geoff: Shh. It's okay.
Barry: Go to sleep, baby. [baby crying]
Geoff: I guess two men and a baby doesn't work.
Dr. Katman: Um, excuse me.
Barry: Dr. Katman?
Dr. Katman: Indeed. I was driving by and heard your baby crying, so I thought I could help. Follow me. ♪ Ba-da-da-da-dum ♪
All: ♪ Goodnight, sweetheart ♪ ♪ Well, it's time to go ♪ ♪ Ba-dum, ba-dum ♪ ♪ I hate to leave you, but I really must say ♪ ♪ Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight ♪ [crying continues]
Dr. Katman: Well, doesn't always work.

Quote from Geoff

Cynthia: So, after I switched nipple creams, he finally latched onto me, no problem.
Erica: Oh, if parenthood has taught me anything, it's that there is a cream for everything. [laughter]
Geoff: Yep, creams. There's so much excitement in those little tubes. Oh, Barb, by the way, how are your hemorrhoids?
Barb: Yeah, I'm not really comfortable right now.
Geoff: Oh, how rude of me. I didn't even offer you a pillow to sit on to ease the pain. I, too, have bottom issues, so, you know.
Erica: O... kay, any other topic of conversation?
Cynthia: I've got one. Anyone else sensing the dynamic of our mom group is a bit off?
Geoff: I know exactly what you mean, Cynthia.
Cynthia: I'm not sure you do.
Geoff: Diane was supposed to be on snack duty, and here I am with nary a Fig Newton to chew on.

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Principal Ball: I bring news. Ms. Cinoman is taking a leave of absence to produce her one-woman show, "Loneliness: A Love Story With Myself."
Mr. Glascott: I read an early draft. One of the characters was wine.
Principal Ball: She's a giant mess. But the immediate issue is the Winter Gourd Fest.
Mr. Glascott: These Quakers will really celebrate anything.
Principal Ball: We have no one to direct our musical program.
Beverly: I have the perfect solution. Uh, my son is in a creative rut, but it's been well-documented that he's a genius in all things entertainment.
Mr. Glascott: Not so fast. My production of Oklahoma! inspired the school's newspaper cleverly worded review "OK is Okay."

Quote from Beverly

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And just like that, I was back at William Penn. Only problem was it was under very false pretenses.
Beverly: And here we are.
Adam: I don't understand. Why would Alyssa Milano want to meet me here?
Beverly: I lied. But congratulations! You're the new director of Winter Gourd Fest. You may thank and kiss me now.
Adam: Mom, I appreciate the thought, but I've always hated Winter Gourd Fest. It's by far my least favorite of the four annual gourd shows.
Beverly: But here you can immerse yourself in the dramatic arts without having to take orders for cheese fries.
Adam: I don't know. I have Tuesday and Thursday afternoons off, I guess.
Beverly: He said yes. He said yes!
Adam: Don't make it seem like a marriage proposal. How many kids signed up to audition?
Beverly: Too many to count on one finger.

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