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26Quotes from ‘The 'Dirty Dancing' Dance’

The Goldbergs: The 'Dirty Dancing' Dance

317. The 'Dirty Dancing' Dance

Aired March 2, 2016

Beverly helps Erica plan a "Dirty Dancing" themed dance at school, only to turn on Erica when she realizes it may be inappropriate. Meanwhile, Murray tries to learn dancing with Adam with little luck.

Quote from Barry

Barry: When will this "Dirty Dancing" oppression end? When will everybody cut loose, footloose, lick off your sundae spoons?
Lainey: Sweetie, I keep telling you, the song is not about ice cream.
Barry: You don't know! No one does.

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Quote from Erica

Beverly: He came back and danced dirty, and so will you after I march down to that school and give Principal Ball a piece of my mind.
Erica: No. Let me march.
Beverly: You want to march?
Erica: I do.
Beverly: Down there?
Erica: Yes.
Beverly: To demand unrealistic changes to school policy, with a complete disdain for reason and common sense?
Erica: I learned from the best.
Beverly: I've never been prouder to call you my daughter.
Erica: And I've never been proud to be your daughter until now.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Inappropriate?!
Erica: "Wildly inappropriate."
Beverly: That piece of human [bleep] doesn't know what's inappropriate for children.

Quote from Barry

Erica: "Dirty Dancing" is at least realistic. A beautiful girl dances into the hearts of a small resort.
Barry: No. Patrick Swayze can only be a badass roadhouse bouncer, not some tight-pants-wearing mountain dancer.
Beverly: You are grounded for six weeks. No TV or phone.
Barry: But I need the phone to talk and the TV to watch television.

Quote from Beverly

Murray: Oh-ho-ho, no! I see what you're doing. I am not dancing with you.
Beverly: Damn it! I was inches away from having the time of my life. Inches!

Quote from Murray

Murray: Hoo-hoo! That was a close one, huh?
Pops: You mean, how you almost gave your wife the one thing she's desperately wanted for the last 25 years? The nerve of some people.
Murray: See? You get it. Why doesn't she?
Pops: Murray, it's important to her. It's just dancing. What's the big deal?
Murray: For one thing, I literally have never danced a day in my life. And based upon my current energy level, not gonna start soon.
Pops: Oh, stop. Everyone's danced at some point.
Murray: Yeahhhh, not me.
Pops: You've never been in the shower and hummed a few bars?
Murray: I'm all business in the shower. Soap, rinse, out.
Pops: You've never once been driving, and Miami Sound Machine comes on and you tap your finger on the wheel?
Murray: Tap my finger? Who am I, Gregory Hines?
Pops: Are you trying to say that even as a little boy, you never once clapped your hands to the radio?
Murray: My dad traded it for a bucket. That's how I got my birthday bucket.

Quote from Erica

Erica: And if you still say no, I'll go above your shiny head to the PTA. No, the school board. No, the secretary of education. So, what do you and your coffee-stained tie have to say to that?
Principal Ball: A month's detention.
Erica: What? That's not how this is supposed to work!
Principal Ball: The thing is, I'm an adult, and the way you're speaking to me is completely unacceptable.
Erica: But I'm a Goldberg. This is what we do.
Principal Ball: And fortunately for both of us, you're not your mother [chuckling] and she's not here right now. [seeing Beverly on the other side of the door] But I think we could compromise on something besides a dirty dance.
Erica: A compromise, huh?
Principal Ball: Okay, door's always open, but no more steamrolling me. I want your respect.
Understand?
Erica: Uh, I'm not following.
Principal Ball: [sighs] Thank goodness that's over.

Quote from Murray

Pops: Ah, Murray, perfect timing. Come over here, take a seat. I want you to look at that handsome young man and tell me what you see.
Murray: Someone who was still able to drop his pants in peace.
Pops: No. This is a photo of your first dance, your first act as a married man, and you're not even moving.
Murray: I moved plenty that day. I walked down the aisle, I stepped on the glass, I walked back up the aisle. I was a regular Carl Lewis.

Quote from Beverly

Barry: Did someone say "dance instructor"?
Murray: No! Where did you even come from?!
Barry: Come on. It's like "Footloose". You're the dopey farm boy, and I'm Kevin Bacon. Let me be your Bacon.
Murray: Don't distract me with bacon. I'm not dancing.
Barry: Come on. Yeah. Feel the beat. There's nothing wrong with two bros bonding over dance.
Pops: Barry, this is a delicate situation. You're making it worse.
Barry: Well, the infectious music of Kenny Loggins will win him over.
Pops: It's not winning him over.
Barry: The human body is literally programmed to love Loggins. He can't say no!

Quote from Murray

Pops: You're finally watching that movie, huh?
Murray: I know I promised I'd take Bevy out dancing, but I can't do it. I'll look stupid.
Pops: Since when do you care about how you look? You spend half your life puttering around this house in your underpants.
Murray: Well, that's about comfort. It's also a warning shot to outsiders that you're not welcome.
Pops: All I'm saying is, you always care less about what other people think. Why is this different?
Murray: Let me be honest with you. [sighs] I don't like to move my body.
Pops: Yeah, we've met.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Burn this.
Murray: I'm sorry?
Pops: This must never be seen by anyone.
Murray: I'm not following.
Pops: If you love my daughter, you won't do any of this ever again.
Murray: You said I wouldn't know if I could dance until I tried.
Pops: Well, you tried and now we know. You cannot and should not dance.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Oh, no!
Pops: Adam, no, turn away! It'll change you forever!
Adam: Oh, no, no, no! What am I looking at?!
Pops: Turn away!
Adam: I want to, but I can't. It's like the Ark from "Raiders"!
Murray: You promised you wouldn't judge me, but I'm feeling a lot of judging right now.
Pops: Don't make yourself the victim in this. That boy is the victim.
Adam: All I did was walk into the room.

Quote from Barry

Barry: It's boom time.
Erica: Stop! I don't know what this is, but stop.
Barry: It's a confetti cannon. Now cut-up paper will endlessly rain down on us like in the final scene of "Footloose."
Erica: I told you this is "Dirty Dancing," not "Footloose".
Barry: Hello? An authority figure has banned us from moving our bodies. Seriously, Erica, I pity you.

Quote from Geoff

Erica: Wow. Um, that was something.
Geoff: It was everything. Like you.
Erica: You talked and ruined it.
Geoff: Of course.


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