‘Love is a Mixtape’
Season 2, Episode 1 - Aired September 24, 2014
When Adam makes a mixtape to express his feelings for Dana, he doesn't count on Beverly finding the tape and thinking it's for her. Adam tries to spare his mother's feelings while letting his girlfriend know how he feels about her. Meanwhile, after getting a fake ID only to have it confiscated at school, Barry struggles to fulfil a promise to his classmates.
Quote from Barry
Gus: Dude, what are you doing? No. Just act normal. Lose the hat. Come on.
Barry: But Zeus Alexander Washington always wears a hat.
Gus: Oh, no. That's your name? That's too many letters, dude. That's too weird. It's too stupid.
Barry: I like my second choice better anyway. James Bond.
Gus: Taken.
Barry: Barry Bonds.
Gus: Also taken.
Barry: Barry Fakington!
Erica: What's wrong with you? Just pick a normal name already.
Barry: Barry Goldberg!
Erica: That's your name.
Barry: Erica Goldberg.
Erica: Idiot, that is my name!
Barry: Sir Richard Chamberlain.
Erica: Stop panicking!
Barry: Mr. Clock Table.
Gus: Now you're just saying things you see.
Quote from Murray
Barry: Dad!
Erica: Shut up.
Barry: Dad! You know he always comes on the third "dad", because he can't ignore it any more. And the man won't be happy because he'll have to walk the stairs. He hates to walk the stairs.
Erica: I don't care. I'm not helping you.
Barry: Dad!
Murray: What?! Why are you calling my name? What do you want? The hell's so damn important that you make me walk the stairs?
Quote from Barry
Barry: Guess who just turned 25! Carlos Del Monaco. Who wants spray paint, lottery tickets? I can vote, rent a car, lease a junior one-bedroom apartment. I'm all man, all the time!
Quote from Barry
Barry: Why don't we cruise down to Wawa and buy you a whole bunch more?
Murray: I'm not gonna buy you beer, moron.
Barry: Pardon me? That's not what I'm asking you for. I'm just I'm looking for a fun father-son activity, you know? Like like buying beer. Or making beer. That'd be fun, right? Let's go buy some yeast and barley, and start bonding in the bathtub.
Quote from Barry
Erica: Forget you saw this.
Barry: No can do. I have a pornographic memory.
Quote from Adam
Adam: Here's what I know about women: they confuse and terrify me.
Quote from Adam
Pops: Did you just make a date with your mother?
Adam: Yes, this whole situation is super messed up.
Quote from Beverly
Barry: Who ate all the Boo-Berry?
Beverly: I gave it to Adam because he's my favorite kid.
Erica: What? You can't say that out-loud.
Beverly: Oh, I can and I just did. Both of you look at me, Adam's my favorite.
Quote from Barry
Store clerk: So, you're Murray Goldberg?
Barry: Yep. Right down at the old furniture store. Have the three kids back at home. I call them morons but I secretly love them.
Store clerk: So you're telling me that you're nearly fifty years old?
Barry: I just look young. Got a bit of a baby face. I'm half Hawaiian. Aloha.
Quote from Pops
Pops: You know that no son makes a mix tape for his mom.
Beverly: I guess I just wanted it to be true. I don't want Adam turning out horrible like the others.
Pops: Honey, he's a teenager, they're all horrible.