Pops: Mur, would it kill you, for once in your life, to make an effort?
Murray: Fine. Tell me some stuff about the girl one.
Pops: Well, Erica's heartbroken because she's in love with a boy who's not interested in her anymore.
Murray: What boy?
Pops: Geoff.
Murray: The kid with the giant head?
Pops: No.
Murray: The one with the teeny head?
Pops: Who are these people?

Adam: So, you think I got what it takes?
Beverly: Squishie, you're so talented they should give you all the Oscars. Best Little Snuggle Goblin, Adam Goldberg.
Adam: Adam F. Goldberg. I don't want to get confused with the other Adam Goldberg in my school. He's got more of a Jim Jarmusch vibe, and I'm more of a Jim Varney.

Murray: You're my son's friend, right?
Dave Kim: Uh, yes.
Murray: And you've been in love with Erica for a long time?
Emmy Mirsky: Like, forever.
Murray: She finally loves you back. Mazel Tov.
Emmy Mirsky: Did that just happen?
Dave Kim: Don't question it. Everything's coming up Dave Kim.

Adam: The only talent you have is being delusional.
Barry: I'll make you eat those words once Haim and Feldman make me the third Corey.
Adam: How can you be a Corey? Your name's Barry.
Barry: Being a Corey is a way of life. And when we're on set, I'm gonna make you my sad little assistant and I'll say, "Go get me a Coke." Then you'll come back and give me a Coke and then I'll yell, "I said Diet Coke!" And then you'll cry, "No, you said Coke!" And then I'll say, "Don't you ever question me in front of the other two Coreys."
Adam: Well, then I'll throw the Coke in your face, and the director will see my passion and make me the lead of "Lost Boys 2." And now I'm a Corey.
Barry: There can't be four Coreys!
Adam: Well, then we take a vote, and you're out.
Barry: You can't do that! I own a Camaro and a beach house. It takes a ton of money keeping up with the Coreys, and now I'm broke, thanks to you!

Erica: I am not your peanut. Because of you, I got serenaded in front of the whole school.
Murray: You don't have to thank me.
Erica: It was the wrong boy. I like Geoff, but Dave Kim sang to me.
Pops: Oh, no!
Erica: Yes.
Pops: What have you done, Murray?
Murray: Honestly, I don't know. This is all so confusing.
Erica: This is Dave Kim, a tiny freshman creeper who dresses like Velma from Scooby-Doo. And this loveable, sweet dope is Geoff Schwartz.

Erica: Name one of my friends, just one.
Murray: Bill's daughter.
Erica: Whose name is?
Murray: ... La Vondra.
Erica: LaVondra?
Murray: Larla.
Pops: Larla?

Erica: What are you doing?
Lainey: Nothing.
Erica: Remember how Barry got jealous of Boy George, so he dressed up like him? Well, now Barry's gonna go all-out to be punk and- Oh, my God, you did this on purpose.
Lainey: Punk is super sexy. I want to see Barry in a studded leather jacket and tight jeans and don't gag like you always do.
Erica: I'm sorry, I can't [gags] help it. You [gags] You two make me ill.

Matt: Hold up. What's in this for me?
Barry: Well, if you do a good job, I'll make you a member of the JTP.
Matt: Is that a band?
Barry: Jenkintown Posse is more of a small, weirdly tight-knit friend group.
Matt: Well, it has been hard to find people to sit with at lunch. I think people are afraid of me.
Barry: Aw, 'cause you dress like a lady ghost?
Matt: What? No.
Barry: Doesn't matter. I'm in your hands. Mentos me.

Erica: Uh, Dad, what the hell was that?
Murray: Yeah, what was that?
Erica: I'm talking about you saying that I'm still dating Drew Kremp, which is his actual name, not Dante.
Murray: By your tone, I'm guessing you two broke up.
Erica: Three years ago! Do you seriously not know anything about me?
Murray: Peanut, I'm just bad at names, especially when the people don't interest me.

Beverly: Whoa, what's happening here? Why are you using those words to describe my handsome star?
Edie Robb: Listen, I get it. I love my boy, RD, with all my kishkas. But when it comes to booking roles, he's the number-one shmendrick in town.
Beverly: What do you mean?
Edie Robb: There's not a dork, dweeb, yutz, putz, or jamoke that my brilliant boy hasn't booked.
But Adam could give him a run for his money, which is my money, too, 'cause I take 10%.
Beverly: Thing is, my baby is none of those things. He's more like a handsome hunk from "The Outsiders."
Edie Robb: Ah, I see what's going on here. You have a completely unrealistic view of your son.
Beverly: Please, I have a very realistic view of Adam, my little Patrick Swayze.
Edie Robb: He's not a Swayze.
Beverly: Oh, he's a Swayze.
Edie Robb: No Swayze.
Beverly: So Swayze, it's crazy.