Adam: The Wonder Years is the best. Who doesn't love a kid looking back at his formative years with... I'm just gonna say it... Wonder?
Brea: Except I don't buy Kevin and Winnie. It's like, why is she with him?
Adam: What? He's a loveable every-boy with timeless and deceptive charm.
Brea: Ehh. He's short and has a weird voice. Plus, he's got that really annoying best friend.
Dave Kim: Paul's the breakout character. If anyone's annoying, it's the older brother.
Barry: Wayne rules. I like the way he doesn't think anything through.
Erica: I'm a fan of the older sister. Why don't they give her more stories?

Jane Bales: Are you in the market for a new home? [hands Mr. Glascott a flyer]
Mr. Glascott: Oh, I wish. I'm your classic lookie-loo. [Jane takes the flyer back] I'm currently living above a Bengali restaurant. The intense spices permeate my bedroom, causing a rare condition called "curry eye."
Jane Bales: Ugh. Now I know things about you.

Beverly: Murray, I don't get it. You wanted that house, too.
Murray: I did. Until that mean lady realtor wanted to replace the banister.
Beverly: So? It is wobbly.
Murray: Really? Tear down the banister where little moron Barry got his head stuck? No, thank you.
Beverly: You remember that?
Murray: Of course I remember that. I remember everything. That stain in the carpet that they want to pull out, that's from Adam being an idiot. And that chip in the wall that they want to replace, that's from Erica's stupid head.
Beverly: Oh, Murray.
Murray: No media room is worth losing all of that. This is our broken-down, busted-up house. It's perfect.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Growing up, I hated sports. It wasn't just that I was unathletic and uncoordinated, but... Yeah, okay, that was most of it.
Adam: Why are the halls bustling?
Dave Kim: Everyone's pumped for Friday's big game against Germantown. It's the one day the jocks high-five me instead of low-two me.
Adam: What's a low-two?
Dave Kim: Ah, nice try! That court document is sealed.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was October 13th, 1980-something. With Erica engaged and living with Geoff, it was time to clean out her childhood bedroom.
Erica: Keep. Ugh, big toss.
Beverly: [gasps] Bup-bup. Strawberry Shortcake, Erica? For shame. You've been sniffing her since you were six. [inhales deeply] Mmm. Fruit baby. Never mind, I'll just put her on my keep pile.
Erica: You realize puttineverything from my trash pile into your keep pile makes all this pointless?
Beverly: I got a system, which is not to let my baby flush her precious memories down the toilet.
Erica: Mom, it's obvious you're really upset because your most attractive child will never live under your roof again. Ever.
Beverly: You'll be back, because I still have the one thing you need most.
Erica: Money?
Beverly: B.L.C. Bever-Loving-Care.
Erica: You may want to try money.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so, my mom dragged my dad to the open house next door.
Beverly: Oh, my God. Can you believe this place?
Murray: They even have a drawer just for batteries. They got the AAs, the Ds, and even the square ones.
Beverly: This brochures says there's a pool, a sauna, and a chef's kitchen. Can you imagine what I would do with meats and cheeses in here?
Murray: I already have. And they got a TV in the half-bath off the den.
Jane Bales: Well, if you like that little fella, you should check out the media room.
Murray: Media room?
Jane Bales: It is a space dedicated to television. [choir singing] Complete with sumptuous leather chairs, a full-size fridge, and stadium seating so that no one can ever block your view.
Murray: It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Jane Bales: I know.

Beverly: I had no idea all this was here. Why weren't we friendly with the Wofsys?
Murray: Friendly? Who wants to be friendly with their neighbors?
Mr. Glascott: Hello, Goldbergs.
Murray: Ah, it's the guy from, uh, the thing that I know.
Mr. Glascott: I'm your child's guidance counselor, John Glascott. [chuckles] You know me.
Murray: If you say so.

Arnie Wofsy: [dramatic music plays] Murray.
Murray: Wofsy. Quite a house you have here.
Arnie Wofsy: And?
Murray: We want to buy it.
Beverly: Way under asking and with multiple contingencies. Thank you for accepting.

Beverly: You better fix it. I want this house, Murray.
Mr. Glascott: Oh, my. I came for the fresh-baked cookies, but I'm leaving with fresh-baked drama. [laughs] And a cookie.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As my mom's dream was crushed, I was ready to crush my video assignment.
Adam: Go, physically gifted people who live in my area!
Brea: You sure you're going to be able to follow all the action?
Adam: Uh, I've seen Wildcats with Goldie Hawn, so maybe.
Dave Kim: You make everything less fun. We're gonna go find a seat.