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40Quotes from ‘RAD!’

The Goldbergs: RAD!

603. RAD!

Aired October 10, 2018

When Pops gives Barry a savings bond to start a nest egg, he and Lainey immediately spend the money. Meanwhile, Erica gets a job at a local Karaoke bar and forbids her mother from visiting.

Quote from Murray

Murray: No, if you two want to be adults, you're gonna have to learn how not to spend. Look at me. I haven't spent in the past 20 years.
Barry: Those are the only pants I've ever seen you wear.
Murray: Just got the one. Don't even fit right.
Barry: So you saved money on pants. Your wife is a shopaholic. All Mom ever does is spend money on hair spray and bags of shredded cheese.
Murray: Exactly. In every marriage, you've got a spender and a saver. That way, it all evens out.

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Quote from Barry

Barry: Well, I love Lainey more than anything, so I'll take the bullet. Baby, I'm gonna be the penny-pinching cheapskate just like my garbage bag of a father.
Lainey: No. Barry, he's the worst.
Barry: He truly is, and I will lower myself to his hideous, carbuncled depths for our love.
Lainey: It just fills my heart that you'd sink so unbelievably low for me.
Barry: It's literally impossible to sink any lower. I love you.
Murray: I am super angry, but, also, I've never been more proud.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Okay. Here's a list of everything you need to know to save a buck. And, as an extra incentive, for every dollar you save in this house, I put it right in your nest egg.
Barry: Yes! I'm gonna be a savings tycoon.
Murray: Okay. Well, number-one drain on your wallet, air conditioning.
Barry: Really? Since when?
Murray: Oh, my God! That's why I'm always screaming about the thermostat.
Barry: You do?
Murray: That's all I do!
Barry: I've honestly never heard you say anything about the thermostat, ever.

Quote from Murray

Murray: You people really don't listen.
Barry: But I'm almost listening now.
Murray: Good. Because this next one's a biggie: electricity. No more highfalutin microwave.
Barry: But heating up a pizza in the oven takes six more agonizing minutes.
Murray: Would you rather have a slow pizza or money for more pizza?
Barry: Hold on. Are you saying if I save money, I'll have more of it?
Murray: It seems obvious, but yes.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Okay, next, always save water.
Barry: Wait, isn't water free 'cause God makes it?
Murray: No, dumb-dumb. A water bill can cost a fortune. So get used to cold showers, dry-brushing your teeth, and only flushing in emergencies.
Barry: How do you know if it's an emergency?
Murray: Oh, you'll know.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Geoff, stop rearranging my nail polish.
Geoff: But you're gonna love my new system.
Erica: Forget that. They just opened a karaoke place in Jenkintown.
Geoff: Kara-what?
Erica: Oke. It's the ancient Japanese art of singing other people's pop songs.
Geoff: Well, what if you don't know the words?
Erica: You don't have to. They give them to you on a video monitor over vaguely scenic images of Asian models frolicking in the ocean.
Geoff: But what if you can't sing and have crippling stage fright?
Erica: Well, that doesn't apply to me, therefore it's a dumb question, so let's go.
Geoff: Well, you said nothing to make me feel better, but I sense your enthusiasm, so let's do this.

Quote from Murray

Erica: Guess who got a job. [Murray hugs Erica] Oh. We're hugging just like that? You don't even want to know what it is?
Murray: You said all I need to know: job.
Erica: I'm working at Gary-Oke's. It's a karaoke bar where people sing...
Murray: I don't care.
Beverly: Oh, do I hear hugging?
Murray: Erica got a job.
Beverly: Ooh, where?
Murray: Teriyaki's.
Erica: Gary-Oke's.
Murray: It's one of those places where they chop up shrimp and throw it, but it doesn't matter 'cause you're gonna be making money. Hoo-hoo!

Quote from Beverly

Erica: It's just a karaoke place where people sing. It's no big deal.
Beverly: Oh, it's the biggest deal. And you know Mama Bear's gonna be right there in the front row cheering you on.
Erica: Or you stay as far away as possible.
Beverly: Or we get onstage together and sing a Streisand duet guaranteed to wow the crowd.
Erica: Or you stay home with your lame mom music, and I go onstage solo and sing an actual crowd-pleaser - like "Jessie's Girl."
Beverly: Or... [sings] You know I wish that I hugged Bevy's girl Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
Erica: How do you know that song?
Beverly: Where can I find a schmoopie like that?

Quote from Adam

Pops: What you watching, kiddos?
Adam: This is "Rad," the story of an awesome BMX biker named Cru Jones who enters a corrupt promoter's nationally televised cash-prize race.
Barry: This movie has it all: rad BMX bikers on rad BMX bikes doing rad BMX biking.
Adam: It's why they called it "Rad." They literally had no choice.

Quote from Lainey

Pops: Wow! That's fantastic. I need a copy of this right away.
Adam: I'm on it.
Pops: Go, kiddo. [to Barry and Lainey] Okay, he ran off 'cause I acted insanely excited. We got to talk.
Lainey: If you're here to tell us we're impulsive idiots and too young to get married on a mere whim, then take a number.
Pops: No. In honor of your engagement, I'm giving you a nice little nest egg.
Lainey: Your grandfather is giving us actual money?
Barry: Boom!
Lainey: We're rich.

Quote from Lainey

Barry: Is this money from the olden times, 'cause I have no idea what I'm looking at.
Pops: That's a savings bond. And with interest, one day, it'll be worth 2,000 big ones.
Barry: What if our interest is in getting money right now at this moment?
Pops: You can't. Right now, it's only worth 500 bucks.
Barry: Boom!
Lainey: We're rich.

Quote from Erica

Beverly: Just capturing my schmoopie's first day on the job.
Erica: Wait. What are you wearing? What do you me- Oh, this? Oh, it's just an old sweater I had laying around. I bought it at the store. I didn't stay up all night making it.
Erica: Stop doing what you're doing. You are not to show up at my work and embarrass me with your mommish lame-osity like you always do.

Quote from Beverly

Erica: Mom, this dynamic where you always barge in my life and embarrass the crap out of me has to stop. I'm an adult now, and it's time you treat me like one.
Beverly: You're right. As hard as it is to imagine, you're not my little squish anymore. I need to start respecting your boundaries.
Virginia Kremp: You don't do that for us, Beverly.
Beverly: Shut your [bleep] mouth hole, Ginzy.

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Mr. Glascott: [singing] Jessie's girl I want, I want Jessie's girl Ohh! Thank you. Thank you so much. Uh, fun side note I actually have a friend named Jessie, and I do indeed dangerously pine for his girlfriend. [chuckles] She will be mine one day. One day, she will be mine-
Gary: Okay. Okay. Okay, okay. Alarming stuff. Thank you.

Quote from Pops

Barry: Pops, my old friend. We'd like one additional nest egg, please.
Pops: What? The nest egg is gone already? It's been four hours.
Barry: It's kind of a funny story, really. It's hard not to buy stuff when you really want to buy stuff.
Pops: That's not funny or a story.

Quote from Erica

Erica: I know it's really confusing, but I want you to come to karaoke, and you can stay as long as you want.
Beverly: Daughter want time? Me-me?
Erica: Okay, I'm gonna need you to reboot your brain, because there will be a few ground rules here, understood?
Beverly: Ah-kuh-mon-man. Whatta Wat?!
Erica: The general idea is you don't embarrass me by being you.
Beverly: Huh? Huh? Huh?
Erica: So that means no haranguing my boss or complaining about the service or sending back food or using expired coupons, and for God's sake, no mom dancing.
Beverly: What's mom dancing?
Erica: Go on. Bust a move. Yeah, that. None of that. Also, there will be no mother/daughter duets ever.
Beverly: Oh, well, tell that to the Judds, but fine.
Erica: To clarify, there's no singing at all, because you'll just destroy the vibe with your lame mom songs. And what are mom songs? Anything by Bette, Babs, The Beach Boys, or Barry Manilow. No doo-wop, no bebop, no power-pop, and you know what? Just no songs at all.
Beverly: No singing. Got it. All that matters here is I agreed to stay out of your life, but the truth is you want me in it. [dances]
Erica: I already recognize that this is a huge mistake.

Quote from Barry

Adult Adam: [v.o.] So, just like that, Barry took to being a frugal Murray. And he was not kidding around.
Adam: Hey, I was playing a game!
Barry: Read a book.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] No one was spared.
Barry: Hi-yah! No sinks. Water costs money.
Pops: But I gotta take a pill.
Barry: Choke it down dry, old man. We're all about savings in this house. Hey! No one touch the thermostat! It's fall, which means it's basically summer.
Murray: Finally, I know what it's like to be a father.

Quote from Murray

Barry: Is it here? Please tell me the electricity bill is here and I'm stinking rich.
Murray: Oh, it's here, and you saved like a pro.
Barry: How much did I make for my nest eggs? $2,000? $3,000?
Murray: You saved 6 bucks.
Barry: What?! I've been up everyone's ass for days. I damaged every relationship I had to save money.
Murray: I know! Damaging relationships is just the bonus.
Barry: You've got a real problem, man.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: [singing] I wish that I had... Bevy's girl.
Erica: Mom.
Beverly: I baked her in my belly.


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