Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, the first day of school wasn't exactly magical for me. Yep, getting bullied, hazed, and generally tortured for being a geek had become a tradition. But this year felt different.
Adam: Adam? More like, A-Damn!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] I changed up my look over the summer, and it did not go unnoticed.
JC Spink: Yo, Big Adam! AFG!
Adam: Wow, so many new nicknames and none of them insulting or about my gentleman's cankles.
JC Spink: Party at my place in an hour.
Adam: Uh, pretty sure we still have school in an hour, but I love the invite.

Adam: There's the prettiest girl in school.
Brea: Aw! Well, I think you're the prettiest boy in school.
Adam: My mom does say I have a long torso like Cheryl Tiegs.
Brea: I know she does. [sighs] See you at lunch.

Mr. Glascott: What in the Oprah Show Miracle Makeover is this?
Adam: Mr. Glascott. How was your summer?
Mr. Glascott: Terrible. As you know, guidance counseling isn't very lucrative, so I took a summer job mowing the local golf course. I saw two alligators.

Adam: I had a magical summer with my foxy girlfriend. Thanks for asking.
Mr. Glascott: I didn't. Why do you look so different? Did somebody finally punch those glasses off your face?
Adam: I got contact lenses.
Mr. Glascott: And is that a salon job?
Adam: Nope. Just the sun.
Mr. Glascott: I thought you were allergic to God's warm life-giver.
Adam: Turns out that was just avocados.
Mr. Glascott: It's all so effortless and stylish. As if you are no longer afraid of the world and everything in it.
Adam: That's probably the self-defense class I took with my mom. It was quite a summer.
Mr. Glascott: Well, a gator took one of my sport loafers, so we all got things.

Adam: What's happening?
Dave Kim: What's happening is you're cool.
Adam: Oh, come on, Dave Kim. It's Adam Goldberg, a classic nerd. "Nanu-nanu." "Goonies never say die." "Wax-on wax-off."
Dave Kim: You hang out with the jocks, you're dating Brea Bee, and the sun dances on your hair like Christmas morning. Face it, you're cool.
Adam: Please. There's no difference between you and me.
Brian Walls: Trash day. [both pick up Dave]
Dave Kim: This turtleneck is a classic! They don't make it in "tickle me pink" anymore!

Barry: Hey. We're back.
Beverly: And you'll never leave me, and you'll age backwards till you're little babies, and we'll start all over again?
Erica: What a haunting thought so early in the day.

Beverly: But why aren't you at your summer jobs?
Erica: Mine ended. The manager at Hickory Farms questioned my work ethic. At least that's what I heard. I wasn't there.

Barry: And my summer job said the pool would be safer without me.
Beverly: There's a whole week before you go back to college. [gasps] That means my babies are back.
Erica: Whoa. We aren't babies anymore.
Barry: Damn right. I do all kinds of adult stuff. Just the other day, I said, "I agree to disagree."
Geoff: I was there. He used it wrong.
Barry: I agree to disagree.
Geoff: Oh! Nice!

Beverly: Well, until college starts again, you're not gonna need any of that stuff. All you need is your mama. Starting with a three-meat breakfast fit for a king! [takes Murray's plate]
Murray: Hey, I'm the king!
Beverly: Quiet, Murray. Our babies need their essential fats and nitrates.
Barry: Yes! Bacon and links and pancake dippers?
Erica: Is this a breakfast pizza for one?
Murray: Yeah, this one.
Beverly: Dipper to Barry, Dipper to Barry, we're ready to land in the hangar.
Barry: The hangar is my mouth! [laughs]

Geoff: Look at you two go. Just a minute ago, you were independent young adults, and now your mommy's flying food around your face, and what is this?
Beverly: Just rubbing my baby's tootsies.
Erica: Mm! Get in there. Little circles.
Geoff: I'm sorry, Mrs. G., but aren't you worried that, if you treat them like babies, they'll regress into babies?
Beverly: That's the dream. [sighs] My schmoos are back in my sweet bosom.
Erica: It's gross, but it was a long year. Let me have this.