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17Quotes from ‘A Christmas Story’

The Goldbergs: A Christmas Story

310. A Christmas Story

Aired December 9, 2015

Tired of her unenthusiastic family during the holidays, Beverly creates "Super Hanukkah" to get them into the spirit, but it’s a little too similar to Christmas.  Meanwhile, Barry spends more time with Lainey so Adam is annoyed and "triple dog dares" Barry to stick his tongue on a pole outside. Amongst their fighting, Adam’s tongue gets stuck too.

Quote from Pops

Pops: You forgot the part where Aquaman swam to Egypt and parted the Red Sea with his fish friends and Moses, the porpoise.

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Quote from Adam

Adam: Thanks for being so curvy and understanding.
Lainey: Hey, no problem. Wait, what?
Adam: Nothing!

Quote from Adam

Adam: Where are you going?
Barry: Lainey's, I miss her laugh.
Adam: That's very sweet and angering.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Hey, honey.
Beverly: Have you been wearing that Santa suit all day?
Murray: Oh, yeah. It turns out these pants keep the fellas warm and toasty. And the girl at Wawa, she gave me a free lotto ticket. People love Santa Claus! Who knew?
Erica: I think everyone.

Quote from Barry

Adam: Go on, do it already.
Barry: Oh, I will do it. I've stuck my tongue to tons of different things.

Quote from Barry

Barry: You're my brother and no one will ever replace you.
Adam: You really mean that?
Barry: Of course. I love you, dude.
Adam: I love you, too.
Barry: Wow. We've never said this stuff before.
Adam: I know. It's just easy because we're about to freeze to death.
Barry: Well, at least we said it. And I wouldn't trade that for the whole world.

Quote from Pops

Pops: On the fifth day of Hanukkah, my daughter sent to me: Five backs a-stabbing, Four neglected customs, Three sell-out children, Two shameful parents, And she spit in my face, too.

Quote from Pops

Pops: O Hanukkah bush, o Hanukkah bush, You crap all over our culture.

Quote from Lainey

Lainey: I didn't mean to, okay. I never get between two brothers. Again. It happened once at summer camp. There were these two hot twins and, it's not important.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Big news, everyone. This family's about to experience some exciting changes this holiday season.
Murray: If it costs me money, it ain't happening.
Beverly: It'll actually save you money.
Murray: It's happening.
Beverly: In the long run. In the short run, it will cost way more.
Murray: Urgh.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: And here's a box of lights for you to string up on the house.
Murray: This has now become work.
Beverly: Not work, fun. Just like the Kremps have. Now, get to work. I mean fun.

Quote from Beverly

Murray: It looks expensive.
Beverly: It is. Super Hanukkah!

Quote from Erica

Erica: I don't like Hannu-Claus.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Okay, this was fun for a bit. Then it got sad. Now it's just bonkers.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Zit cream isn't a gift. It's an insult!

Quote from Murray

Murray: I've raised morons.
Adam: That's fair.
Barry: You really have.


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