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33Quotes from ‘Breakfast Club’

The Goldbergs: Breakfast Club

401. Breakfast Club

Aired September 21, 2016

Adam, Barry and Erica are not alone in trying to find their place at school on the first day of term, as Beverly attempts to become a teacher.

Quote from Beverly

Adam: I'm the one who needs to find the right table, 'cause where I sit will define me for the next four years. It's just like "The Breakfast Club." Look at the cliques: the cheerleaders, the burners, the band geeks, the Mom?!
Beverly: Hey, kids! Over here. Come sit with your mother.
Adam: Oh, balls. Balls, balls.
Erica: Son of a-
Lainey: Um, your mom's here.
Erica: We know. We see her.
Beverly: Yoo-hoo! Can you see me?
Erica: She's waving very clearly at us.
Beverly: I'm your mama! I pushed you out of my swimsuit area!

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Quote from Barry

Erica: Excuse us, Father. We hate to interrupt your evening, but we would like to borrow a brief moment of your valuable personal time.
Murray: What the hell's going on? You morons always come in screaming when you want something.
Pops: It's true. This energy is very unnerving.
Erica: Shouting at you has produced poor results in the past, and at this moment, our lives are at stake.
Adam: Which is why we came to you as calm, mature, young adults to talk this out rationally.
Pops: Even Barry? Seems unlikely.
Barry: Agreed.

Quote from Adam

Adam: It's my new look. I'm locking in who I'm gonna be for the next four years.
Erica: Did you cut the fingers off of my lace Madonna gloves?
Adam: Now they're fingerless tough-guy gloves with some lace.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Schmoopaloos, exciting news! We need to have a little talk. Stop running. Eyes on me.
Remember how I told you all summer I was taking a painting class to help give my life a sense of purpose?
Erica: No.
Adam: Huh?
Barry: ­Who paints what?
Beverly: You people don't listen to a word I say. And I would be deeply hurt if it wasn't all a total lie. I was taking a course for this. It's my teaching certificate.
Erica: For what?
Beverly: For substitute teaching!
Barry: For where?
Erica: High school!
Adam: For which high school?
Beverly: Yours!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: What does this sweater say to you?
Murray: School?
Beverly: That's exactly what I was going for.

Quote from Murray

Pops: Look at you. A real teacher.
Beverly: While this might have begun as a way for me to inappropriately track my children's every move, it's given me a renewed sense of purpose.
Murray: I'm thrilled. You're always marching down there to make trouble anyhow. Might as well get some money for it.
Pops: Also, you're supporting the most important woman in your life.
Murray: Sure! Why not?

Quote from Barry

Murray: Well, the answer's no. Have a good school year.
Barry: So, may I?
Erica: Go to town.
Adam: Do your thing.
Murray: W-What's going on here?
Barry: You make Mom quit or I will knock everything over you love, starting with these thin books! [Grunts]
Murray: What are you doing? You're scaring the dog!
Barry: I am throwing candies in anger! Ooh. [Panting] Went too hot too fast. Here. I need like five hours to recharge my anger.

Quote from Beverly

Principal Ball: Hello, and welcome, William Penn Academy. Thrilled to be back for what's shaping up to be the most exciting school year with- Oh, crap! She's already here! Just get to class! My God, lady. It's the first minute of the school year. I mean, minute.
Beverly: Oh, Earl. I'm not here to beat you into submission. I'm here to teach.
Principal Ball: I'm sorry. Teach?
Beverly: Yes. I got certified over the summer. I'm on your list of subs.
Principal Ball: I am unaware of any such list.
Beverly: Here it is. See? There's my name right there. I put it there myself. Right at the top. See it?
Principal Ball: Uh-huh.
Beverly: See it?
Principal Ball: Yeah.
Beverly: See?
Principal Ball: ­I see.
Beverly: See?
Principal Ball: I see it.
Beverly: See?
Principal Ball: I see it, damn it!
Beverly: Yay!

Quote from Adam

Adam: Erica! I need your help.
Erica: No, no, no! We had an agreement!
Lainey: Dude, you're super sweaty.
Adam: I committed to this look before I checked the weather.

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Beverly: Oh, the teachers' lounge! Oh! [Chuckles] So beautiful. I'm home.
Mr. Glascott: Well, well, well. The rumors are true.
Beverly: Hello, Andre.
Mr. Glascott: [Laughing] Oh. I've been waiting for this moment a long, long time.
Beverly: Thank you so much. I've worked really hard to get here.
Mr. Glascott: Not to support you. To destroy you!
Beverly: What?!
Mr. Glascott: Well, maybe not destroy, but to be cold and distant. Doesn't really come naturally to me. I'm really a people person. Everybody says so. But after all the times you made the teachers' lives hell, did you really think that we were gonna accept you as one of us?
Beverly: It wasn't personal. I was just doing my job as Mama Bear.
Mr. Glascott: Well, the bear's got no claws now. [laughs] That's right! We got the claws!

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Mr. Glascott: I'm afraid only real teachers are welcome in the teachers' lounge. [chuckles] And you're not one of us.
Beverly: So, where am I supposed to eat lunch?
Mr. Glascott: The cafeteria. That's where all the subs eat. All the subs and that new music teacher who wants all the students to think that he's one of them. [scoffs] Yeah, I had a band once, too, Cody. Point is, get out!

Quote from Adam

Adam: I can't sit with my mom at lunch. I'm already the sweaty jacket kid. It would ruin any shred of cool I have left.

Quote from Lainey

Lainey: Forgive me, Mrs. G., but Barry wants you to know, "Get out, you monster! Get out through that window right now!"

Quote from Beverly

Principal Ball: Goldbergs, please! What on Earth is going on over here?
Beverly: I'll tell you what's going on, Earl. You have some very mean, disrespectful children at this school.
Principal Ball: Well, they're your children.
Beverly: Tell them what happens to a student when they sass-mouth a teacher.
Principal Ball: They get Saturday detention.
Erica: Why don't you tell her what happens to a teacher who abuses her power?
Principal Ball: Teachers get fired.
Beverly: Oh, my God. Earl, write a detention. It's not that [bleep] hard!

Quote from Erica

Erica: What's not okay is you haven't told the blond lady to hit the bricks.
Adam: Yeah, man. Do your job.
Lainey: Barry was hoping you'd step in and wanted to add, uh, "Grow some plums!"
Principal Ball: Okay, listen. You kids cannot talk to me that way, 'cause now you really do have Saturday detention.
Adam: What?!
Erica: No!
Lainey: How am I in trouble? I'm just Barry's messenger.
Principal Ball: Well, then deliver this one I expect to see him Saturday, too.
Erica: [screams] So much for my year of awesome! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah. I officially give up, and not just because my mom invaded my school, but because I suck at love and I'm gonna die alone! Forever alone!
Lainey: Don't mind her. She's a basket case.

Quote from Adam

Principal Ball: Questions?
Adam: I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
Principal Ball: Well, aren't you nice? I happen to be quite the Fanilow.
Adam: No, it's from a movie. It's what the cool kid does- And he's gone.

Quote from Barry

Adam: Again, this is just like the movie.
Barry: No one cares about the stupid movie! Now help me into the ceiling like in the movie.

Quote from Adam

Murray: What's this?
Adam: It's the essay you made us write.
Murray: Looks kind of long. Just, uh, tell me the highlights.
Adam: It says "We love our mom. Everything she is and everything she wants to be. But the truth is, up until today that's all we thought she was just a mom. But she's so much more than that. We all are. Even though we all look at each other in the simplest terms with the most convenient definitions, we're more than that. We're not just a geek or a jock or a basket case. Or a mom. In the end, we're a family. And that means we're in it together. Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club."
Murray: What's the Breakfast Club?


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