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Why're You Hitting Yourself?

‘Why're You Hitting Yourself?’

Season 1, Episode 4 -  Aired October 15, 2013

Adam and Barry form a brotherly bond when they accidentally stumble upon a scrambled adult channel. Meanwhile, Beverly mixes in to Pops' love life and attempts to set him up with his dream woman.

Quote from Barry

Barry: My perfect girl? Well, she should have big blue eyes, and big blonde hair.
Beverly: Mmm, she sounds fun.
Barry: She shouldn't be afraid to speak her mind, you know? I mean, she should have a sensitive side, but still be a hard-ass.
Beverly: Oh, sit up straight, honey.
Barry: And I want her to take care of me. Cook, pick up my stuff, make me hot pockets.
Beverly: Mmm.
Barry: By the way, thank you for the hot pocket.
Beverly: All right, and I'm on the case for my sweet, handsome, delicious boy.
Erica: You know you just described mom.
Barry: What!? I did n- Oh, my God! Mom! I meant a brunette who doesn't cook at all. And she's gotta be super shy and not related to me at all.


Quote from Erica

Erica: What the hell is going on? Is Barry forcing you to be here?
Adam: No, I'm here by choice.
Erica: If you're in trouble, blink.

Quote from Barry

Adam: Falcon has eyes on the target. I repeat Falcon is closing in.
Barry: Whoa, wait. I wanted to be Falcon.
Adam: Fine. Golden Eagle is on the move.
Barry: Oh, man, that's way better. I'm that!
Adam: Just pick a name!
Barry: Fine! I'm Golden Falcon Shark. Over.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Trust me, dad. I know what's best for you.
Murray: She knows what's best.
Pops: The hell she does. Bevy, you just can't help yourself. You have to mix in.
Beverly: I'm not mixing in. I'm just trying to tell you what to do, even though you don't want me to.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Boobs. I see scrambled boobs.

Quote from Barry

Adam: Whoa! I'm okay. I'm okay. It's kind of steep up here. Over.
Barry: Be careful. I love you. I mean never mind. Over.
Adam: It's okay. It's out there now. I love you, too.
Barry: Whatever. Over.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Listen, I know dad is paying you 20 bucks to watch us. I have something even better to make you look the other way.
Erica: A library card?
Barry: Walk away.

Quote from Pops

Beverly: Forget it. If you want to waste your time with women half your age in a pit that smells like a shoe, have at it.
Pops: Oh, don't be like that. It's just a date. There'll be others.
Beverly: No, there won't be. Sophia was perfect, and you blew it. All I wanted was to find you someone who will love you and make you happy.
Pops: Yeah, well, that's not what I want.
Beverly: Why not?
Pops: Because I already had that with your mother. Go home, Bev, please.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Come on, Adam! You can't hide forever.
Adam: Can't you please just forget this ever happened?
Barry: No! You've broken the unspoken agreement. We do not punch face.
Adam: You never told me that!
Barry: It was unspoken! But the line has been crossed, and there's no going back! Starting now, it's all face punches, all the time!

Quote from Barry

Adam: For the record, it wasn't just about the boobs for me. It was just cool hanging out with you.
Barry: Had its moments.

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