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Deadheads

‘Deadheads’

Season 4, Episode 17 -  Aired March 8, 2017

Barry feels left out when Matt Bradley joins the JTP and invites everyone to a Grateful Dead concert. Meanwhile, Beverly starts a swear jar after she hears Adam drop an F bomb, but things quickly spiral out of control.

Quote from Matt

Barry: Next category, busting balls. Come up with three insults for how short Andy is.
Andy: Oh. No, we don't have to do-
Barry: Go!
Matt: Andy is so tiny, he uses a sock as a sleeping bag. When Andy plays mini-golf, it's just called "Golf." Did you hear Andy died? He was bungee-jumping off a curb and the dental floss broke.
Andy: I feel completely humiliated.

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Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Wha- What?! I have never!
Erica: Seriously?
Beverly: What? I don't talk like that.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But she did. Bev Bombs were dropped on a daily basis in our home.
[montage:]
Beverly: Holy [bleep]! I love that idea! I hate drugs so [bleep] much! Adam used to be a good boy, and now he's a real [bleep]. [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] Yeah!

Quote from Barry

Andy: Actually, I think we'd rather just chill here and watch Matt Bradley jam.
Barry: That guy? He's a stupid Deadhead.
Naked Rob: So?
Barry: So? Their songs are, like, a million hours long, their crazy fans smell like armpits, and all they wear is tie-dye. It's like, pick a color, bro. You can't have them all.

Quote from Barry

Geoff: Look past the swirly colors, man. Matt Bradley's a good egg.
Andy: We should totally make him a member of the JTP.
Barry: No way. It's in our official bylaws that any potential JTP prospect has to bring something new to the group.
Naked Rob: Dude, he's, like, a chick magnet.
Barry: We already got one, me!
Andy: He's also, like, super-chill.
Barry: I'm super-chill! I will physically hurt your face right now!

Quote from Barry

Geoff: At the very least, he's musical.
Barry: You want music? Watch and learn. Attention, adoring fans. Big Tasty is in the house!
Johnny Atkins: You suck!
Barry: That's right! I do rock. JTP, drop a beat.
Geoff: Um, Bar, history has proven that you say two good lines and then you freeze up and just repeat them over and over...
Barry: I said "Drop a beat"!
[JTP start beatboxing]
Barry: [rapping] Check to the one and check to the two Big Tasty's on the mic, rappin' at you '
Cause I'm checkin' to the one and I'm checkin' to the two Big Tasty's on the mic, rappin' for you
Checkity one and checkity two
Andy: He's stuck in a loop again.
Barry: And I'm rappin' and I'm rappin' and I'm rappin' at you
[crowd boos]
Geoff: And he's gonna get hit in the face in three, two...

Quote from Adam

Beverly: You don't even want to know what this little muddy mouth just said. You only get one helping of shrimp Parm tonight. You can have seconds on cheesy garlic bread, but no thirds!
Adam: It was an accident, okay?
Beverly: Unacceptable! I mean, where did you even learn such a potty word?
Adam: Nowhere.
Beverly: Answer me! Who taught you how to do this stuff?
Adam: You, all right?! I learned it by watching you!

Quote from Barry

Geoff: Yo, dude, we've been talking, and we want to make an official vote to induct Matt Bradley into the JTP.
Barry: We already decided. He brings nothing new to the table.
Andy: Bro, he's got a snake.
Barry: A streamlined iguana? For real?

Quote from Barry

Naked Rob: Come on, Bar. At least give him a chance to take the membership test.
Matt: Membership test?
Andy: It's a series of riddles, trivia, and feats of strength.
Matt: Sounds rad.
Barry: Fine! I'll give you a shot. But, as our charter states, once you fail, you can't ever be one of us.
Matt: You don't mess around in the JTP.
Geoff, Andy and Rob: JTP!
Barry: No! He's not a member. No call and response, JTP.
Geoff, Andy and Rob: JTP.

Quote from Murray

Murray: No one's going to the damn Bahamas.
Erica: Bup-bup! That's a dollar in the swear jar, Dad.
Beverly: She's right, Murray. We have to live by example.
Murray: I'm not paying for these morons to go to the Bahamas.
Erica: You know, "moron" may not be considered a curse word, but it really does feel like one emotionally.
Murray: I'll put 20 bucks in that thing if I can call any moron who's acting like a moron a moron anytime I want.
Erica: 50.
Murray: Worth it. Morons!

Quote from Adam

Erica: You know what would teach us a super-valuable lesson? Upping the fee for the big-time swears to 5 bucks a pop.
Beverly: Yes. Ooh. What a great idea.
Adam: Oh, balls! It's really not!
Beverly: (laughs) That's $5.
Adam: For balls? But it has so many meanings, only one of which refers to one's nards.
Beverly: That's $10! Yay! My babies are gonna be angels!
Adam: What have you done, dragon lady? I've got $7 to my name, I'm already in debt.

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