Erica: There's my favorite person who definitely doesn't smell like the towel that you use to dry the dog.
Barry: Actually, sister, what you're smelling is the musk of dominance. 'Cause I just crushed the MCAT.
Geoff: Nice, Bar!
Barry: It is nice. I now have my pick of med schools. And everyone in this mall will be a flea on my rump if I were a horse. Unless they're my patient, in which case, they'd be the salt lick to my horse and get the best care money can buy.
Geoff: Got a little lost in the horse talk, but all sounds great, I think.

Barry: Welcome, dear family. Thank you all for coming. Yesterday I didn't properly celebrate my sister's heroism. So in her honor, I present this feast. Enjoy.
Naked Rob: Weird assortment of foods, Big Tasty.
Barry: I know.
Matt: Gobstoppers, hot dogs, marshmallows, giant carrot pieces...
Andy: Um, are these by chance the foods one might be most likely to choke on?
Barry: Oh, don't be silly. Now, who wants a genetically engineered extra-large table grape?

Barry: Andy, elephant grape?
Andy: No, thanks.
Barry: Is it because you have a baby mouth?
Andy: I don't have a baby mouth. No, I just ate.
Barry: Was it a jar of Gerber's pureed ham because of your aforementioned baby mouth?
Andy: No. And they puree ham?
Barry: They puree everything. Ravioli, stew, Texas Roadhouse prime rib. It's a great era to be a baby.
Andy: Yeah, that seems way wrong.
Barry: What's way wrong is you're afraid to eat these adult-sized fruit treats.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And, finally, next to the clearly marked "scooter parking" sign, it was, hello, Pops' scooter. Turns out, our strange night of creeping around with my mom was a success... Until we were easily caught.
Security Guard: Hold it right there.
Adam: It's the fuzz! Johnny Law! Smokey! The Blue Meanies!
Brea: Adam.
Adam: I'm panicking. I've never been held at flashpoint before.

Beverly: Hello, Adam and Brea. Or as they say in Miami, "Hola, Adam and Brea."
Brea: A year ago this would've surprised me, but now I just say, "There she is."
Adam: Don't engage.
Beverly: Too late. Brea already made eye contact, and now I want to show you both my special gift. It's an early graduation present for my Mr. Pibb and his little Orange Crush.
Brea: Is it soda?
Beverly: Brea, this isn't your house. Here we have soda whenever we want it.

Brea: Adam, it's just a box. [Brea takes the box]
Beverly: You are really taking a long time. [takes the box back] [gasps] Yay! I'm incredibly generous.
Brea: Plane tickets to Miami?!
Beverly: Because I love Adam, and you're the girl he loves for now.

Adam: Okay, now, what's the catch?
Beverly: Is it a catch that you'll be staying in a luxurious beachfront condominium?
Brea: Awesome.
Adam: Keep going.
Beverly: That was left to me by my beloved father.
Brea: Oh.
Adam: Continue.
Beverly: Which still contains all of his belongings that I've been unable to deal with.
Brea: I see.
Adam: She's not finished.
Beverly: So in between fun in the sun, I'll need you to sort, label, and box these items, which are loaded with emotional significance.
Brea: Why didn't I see it?
Adam: And the capper is...
Beverly: Oh, well, I'm coming along, too.
Adam: And there it is!

Brea: Adam, wait. It is Miami. And she said we'll still get a lot of fun in the sun.
Beverly: So much sun. Maybe too much. Adam tends to burn where his tushy meets his thighs. It'll be every night with the aloe for me.
Brea: C'mon. What do you say? For me?
Adam: Fine. But I get to wear my Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach T-shirt. Daddy needs a win, too.
Beverly: Yay! My baby and I are going on a trip! [chuckles] [hugs Adam] And Brea will be there.

Geoff: Relax, I'm sure you did great. You've been working so hard. Now, open it.
Erica: Oh, my God. I bombed.
Geoff: Come on. I'm sure you just... Wow, that is a low score. Okay, how do I spin this? You're so pretty!
Erica: It's over. Forget law school. I'm just gonna be a doctor's wife who drives around aimlessly crying in her Mercedes.

Geoff: [off Erica's look] Oh, Erica did well on her LSAT.
Erica: A perfect score.
Geoff: Wow, okay.
Erica: I'll have my pick of law schools, but I'll probably focus on helping people instead of making money.
Barry: Thus proving how lawyers are dumber than doctors. Now, who will fetch me a celebratory stromboli?
Erica: And who will fetch mine? [both stare at Geoff]
Geoff: Uh, I guess me?
Erica: There ya go. Those of us who aced graduate-level standardized tests need to be served.
Geoff: Okay.
Barry: And all the napkins.