Beverly: Somebody stole my baby. Well, not real baby, fake baby. It's a toy. Somebody stole my toy! I'm going to get attitude from my son's pretend wife. Can someone call the police? Or Toys 'r Us? I don't [beep] know any more.

Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.

Virginia Kremp: Oh please, I've seen Adam doing horseplay when I have specifically requested no horseplay. He's no angel.
Beverly: Oh, he is an angel. He could literally sprout wings and take flight at any moment.

Murray: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you two get into my four-quadrant popcorn tin?
Barry: Relax. We were just sniffing it.
Murray: Stand up and show me your fingers. If I see any cheese dust, you're both grounded.
Adam: Dust-free. You happy?
Barry: Dude, you're unbelievable. Popcorn is the snack of the people.
Murray: No. It's a snack for dads only. I get one tin a year from my armoire dealer in Cincinnati. It's the only thing that gets me through the season.
Adam: There are so many sad things in that sentence, but I honestly think the winner is "Cincinnati."