The Office Quotes
The Office
A mockumentary which follows the employees of the Scranton, Pennsylvania branch of a fictional paper company, Dunder Mufflin.
Starring:
Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B.J. Novak, Ed Helms, Leslie David Baker, Brian Baumgartner, Kate Flannery, Angela Kinsey, Oscar Nunez, Phyllis Smith, Mindy Kaling, Paul Lieberstein, Creed Bratton, Craig Robinson, Ellie Kemper.
Recurring Actors:
Melora Hardin, David Denman, David Koechner, Andy Buckley, Rashida Jones, Amy Ryan, Kathy Bates, Zach Woods, James Spader, Catherine Tate, Clark Duke, Jake Lacy.
Original Run: 2005-2013.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Jim in Casual Friday
Jim: You know what? Best thing to do, Pros and Cons list.
Michael Scott: Pro for Ryan, he went to business school, he's my number one choice.
Jim: Well, that's--
Michael Scott: I like his hair.
Jim: Cons, Ryan. He defrauded the company. He has never made a sale.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Jim: He definitely stole my iPod.
Michael Scott: That sounds pretty biased.
Jim: You didn't hear my pros. Environmentally-conscious 'cause his mom drives him to work everyday.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott in Nepotism
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Dunder Mifflin Infinity
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm going to live for a very long time. My grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My grandpa Mannheim is 103, and still puttering around down in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation.
Quote from Jim in Product Recall
[Jim arrives for work wearing glasses, a side-parting hair cut, and a pale yellow shirt:]
Jim: It's kind of blurry. That's better. Question, what kind of bear is best?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought.
Jim: Fact, bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight K. Schrute: Bears do not- What is going on? What are you doing?
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Four dollars. And it only cost me $7 to recreate the rest of the ensemble and that's a grand total of $11.
[back:]
Dwight K. Schrute: You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. So I thank you. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
Jim: Michael!
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, that's funny. Michael!
Quote Collections
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“Michael Scott and Holly Flax Quotes”
The best quotes from Michael and Holly's relationship.
30 quotes
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Dwight's best quotes about Schrute Farms, a 60-acre property which grows beets and hemp, and includes a bed and breakfast.
29 quotes
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Whether you've been impish or admirable, are looking forward to a Benihana or Moroccan Christmas, enjoy the best Christmas quotes from The Office as you wait for Classy Santa and Belsnickel.
42 quotes
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Every "That's What She Said" moment from The Office.
36 quotes
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“Michael Scott: The Misquotes”
"Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary." - Jim Halpert
42 quotes
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The Scranton Strangler is a local serial killer whose case the staff at Dunder Mifflin took great interest in, one H.R. rep in particular.
18 quotes
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The best quotes from Jim and Pam's relationship.
29 quotes
Trending Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott in The Job
David: So, let me ask you a question right off the bat, what do you think are your greatest strengths as a manager?
Michael Scott: Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? I work too hard, I care too much, and sometimes I can be too invested in my job.
David: Okay. And your strengths?
Michael Scott: Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths.
David: Oh. Yes. Very good.
Michael Scott: There you go.
Quote from Michael Scott in Dinner Party
Michael Scott: I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma TV. Check it out. I actually hung this on the wall myself.
Jim: That's good.
Michael Scott: I wanna show you something. A lot of people in the room, you need more space voila. Right into the wall.
Jim: Wow.
Michael Scott: Sometimes, I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it. I love this TV.
Quote from Michael Scott in Product Recall
Michael Scott: Everybody in here, stat. No time to lose. Cri-man squa, F and C, double-time.
Dwight K. Schrute: "Cri-man squa"?
Michael Scott: Crisis management squad.
Ryan: "F and C, double-time"?
Michael Scott: Front and center. Twice as fast as you would normally go. Any other questions?
Jim: One more. Why are you talking like that?
Michael Scott: To save time, Jim.
Karen: Actually, I think you could make the argument that it wastes time.
Pam: Yeah, she has a good point. I mean, for example, with the last thing you said, by the time you explained it-