Michael Scott: Hello. Michael Scott Paper Company to see Mr. David Wallace. I believe we're expected. Well, well, well, how the turntables...

Michael Scott: There are certain defining moments in a person's life. The day he is born. The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business. And the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. What have I learned from all of this? It is far too early to tell. I am flying high and I don't even want to think about it. I just want to enjoy it.

Pam: When a child gets behind the wheel of a car and runs into a tree, you don't blame the child. He didn't know any better. You blame the 30-year-old woman who got in the passenger seat and said, "Drive, kid. I trust you".

Michael Scott: I want my old job back. I want my old parking space back. I want a Sebring.
Charles: They don't make them anymore.
Michael Scott: And I want Charles gone.
David: I am not firing Charles. He's very valuable.
Charles: That's very kind of you to say.
Michael Scott: I need him gone.
David: No.
Michael Scott: Then I want Pam back.
David: You already have a new receptionist.
Michael Scott: Sales.
Pam: Thank you.
David: Pam's not a salesperson.
Michael Scott: Yes, she is. At the Michael Scott Paper Company in its heyday.

Michael Scott: It's 4:30 in the morning. Do you know where your kids are? If you are Ryan's parents or Pam's parents or my parents, you do. They're gonna be in this van. With me. Who am I? Nothing to fear. I am just a 44-year-old guy with a paper route.

Pam: We got the van at a used car lot. We think it says "Alleluia Church of Scranton" in Korean. It was either this or an old school bus with an owl living in it.

Pam: You didn't happen to bring any coffee, did you, Michael?
Michael Scott: Milk and sugar.
Pam: Awesome. You're a life saver. [takes a sip] Wait, is this just milk and sugar?
Michael Scott: That's what I said.
Pam: Do you drink this every day?
Michael Scott: Every morning.

Charles: I don't want to hear excuses. I want to see improvements. This is unacceptable.
Andy: Hey, boss. I'd just like to point out that I have be here less time than these guys.
Charles: Why are you telling me this?
Andy: I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie.
Charles: Is this something you really want to have said?
Andy: I don't want to have said that. But I think it's important that you know it.

Michael Scott: How much can we afford to pay a delivery guy?
Finance Guy: Well, if these numbers are correct-
Michael Scott: They are correct, sir.
Finance Guy: Then you can't afford to pay him anything.
Michael Scott: Okay. A lame attempt at humor. Swing and a miss.
Finance Guy: Your prices are too low.
Michael Scott: Lowest in town.
Finance Guy: Why do you think Staples and Dunder Mifflin can't match your prices?
Pam: Corporate greed?
Ryan: Look, our pricing model is fine. I reviewed the numbers myself. Over time with enough volume, we become profitable.
Finance Guy: Yeah, with a fixed cost pricing model, that's correct. But you need to use a variable cost pricing model.
Michael Scott: Okay, sure. Right. So... Why don't you explain what that is to- So they can under - Explain what that is.
Ryan: Explain what you think that is.
Michael Scott: Just explain it.

Finance Guy: Okay. As you sell more paper and your company grows, so will your costs. For example, delivery men, health care, business expansion.
Michael Scott: Whatever, yeah. So...
Finance Guy: At these prices, the more paper you sell the less money you'll make.
Michael Scott: Our prices are the only thing keeping us in business.
Finance Guy: They're actually putting you out of business.
Michael Scott: Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. Ty, I would like you to crunch those numbers again.
Finance Guy: It's a program. There's no such thing-
Michael Scott: Just crunch 'em, please.
Finance Guy: Crunch.
Pam: Did it help?