Michael Scott: Why can't boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals, when sitting down is far more comfortable?

Michael Scott: Pizza. Great equalizer. Rich people love pizza. Poor people love pizza. White people love pizza. Black people love pizza. Do black people like pizza?

Jan: Sports metaphors are one of the ways women feel left out of the language of the office. Now, I know this might sound silly, but many women ask to go over it, so, "fumble" means-
Phyllis: Mistake.
Meredith: Slip.
Jan: Right. "Par for the course" is a golf term. It means "right on track." "Below par" means "worse." Wait. That should mean better. That doesn't make sense.

Dwight K. Schrute: Remember on Lost when they met The Others?

Ryan: You know what? We could get this done a lot quicker if we formed a type of assembly line.
Stanley: This here is a "run out the clock" situation. Just like upstairs.

Michael Scott: All right. Troops. This is an important day, a big day. Now, you may look around and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

Angela: I'm not gaining anything from this seminar. I'm a professional woman, the head of Accounting. I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life. I just think it's insulting that Jan thinks we need this. And apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore.

Michael Scott: Is it good to be back? Yeah. I mean, I love the guy stuff, but to run an office, you need men and women. You know why? Because you need to have that crazy sexual tension to keep things interesting.

Jan: Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm told that there has been some interest in forming a union, and that Michael supported it. Obviously, he's not a friend of yours, because he didn't tell you the facts. So, let me. If there is even a whiff of unionizing in this branch, I can guarantee you the branch will be shut down like that. They unionized in Pittsfield, and we all know what happened in Pittsfield. It will cost each of you a fortune in legal fees and union dues, and that will be nothing compared to the cost of losing your jobs. So, I would think long and hard before sacrificing your savings and your futures just to send a message. If you have any further questions, you can direct them to- To Michael.

Jan: Women today, though we have the same options as men, we often face a very different set of obstacles- [knocking on door] in getting there. So-
Michael Scott: Hey, what's going on?
Jan: Michael- Yeah, you know what? I thought we agreed you wouldn't be here.
Michael Scott: I thought about it. I just have a few things I want to say.
Jan: What are you doing?
Michael Scott: Just hear me out. [clearing throat] What is more important than quality? Equality. Now, studies show that today's woman, the Ally McBeal Woman, as I call her, is at a crossroads.
Jan: Michael-
Michael Scott: And No, just- You have come a long way, baby. But I just want to keep it within reason.
Jan: Michael.
Michael Scott: They did this up in Albany-
Jan: You are not allowed in this session, okay?
Michael Scott: -and they ended up turning the break room into a lactation room, which is disgusting.
Jan: Now you're really not allowed in this session.
Michael Scott: Well, I'm their boss.
Jan: I am your boss.
Michael Scott: Anybody want any coffee or anything?
Jan: We're fine, Michael. We just need you to leave, please.