TV Quotes

Stanley: This is ridiculous.
Phyllis: Do you have any idea what time we get out of here?
Michael Scott: Nobody likes to work late. Least of all, me. You have plans tonight?
Jim: No, I don't. Remember when you told us not to make plans 'cause we were working?
Michael Scott: Yes, I remember. Mmm. This is B.S. This is B.S. Why are we here? I am gonna call corporate. Enough is enough. I'm- God, I'm so mad! This is Michael Scott, Scranton. We don't wanna work. No, we don't! It's not fair to these people! These people are my friends, and I care about them! We're not gonna do it! Everybody, I just got off the horn with corporate, and basically I told them where they could stick their little overtime assignment. Go enjoy your Friday.
Dwight K. Schrute: Thank you, Michael.
Michael Scott: Well, I think we dodged a bullet there.
Jim: I think you did.
Michael Scott: I think we should celebrate. How about you, Pam, mi casa. A little dinner, dancing, drinks?
Jim: Oh, I-
Michael Scott: You said you didn't have plans. That's what you said.

Michael Scott: Pam, I hope she didn't do anything to the food.
Pam: Like what?
Michael Scott: I can't prove it, but I think she might be trying to poison me.

Pam: I know Jan didn't poison the food. I know that. But if she was going to poison the food of someone at that table, wouldn't it be me, "Michael's former lover"?

Michael Scott: I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma TV. Check it out. I actually hung this on the wall myself.
Jim: That's good.
Michael Scott: I wanna show you something. A lot of people in the room, you need more space voila. Right into the wall.
Jim: Wow.
Michael Scott: Sometimes, I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it. I love this TV.

Pam: So you have an office and a work space?
Jan: I do, you know. I just- I cannot create in the same space that I conduct business. I'm sure that you're the same with your doodles.

Jim: Michael has asked Pam and me to dinner at least nine times. And every time, we've been able to get out of it. But I've got to give him credit. He got me. Because I'm starting to suspect that there was no assignment from corporate.

Jan: So this is the master bedroom. And these walls, they used to be, like white, like an asylum. So I wanted it to be softer so I had it painted in eggshell white.
Michael Scott: Guess what. White and eggshell white are exactly the same color.
Jan: Babe.
Michael Scott: Exactly.
Jan: [putting away a tripod-mounted camera near the bed] I thought you said that you were gonna tidy things up.
Michael Scott: Well, I-
Jan: Shame on you.

Pam: What a cute bench.
Michael Scott: Thanks. That's my bed. Jan has, uh, some space issues, so I curl up on that puppy.
Jim: Really? 'Cause It seems pretty narrow and short.
Michael Scott: It's actually a lot bigger than it seems. Look at that!
Jan: See, he fits perfectly.

Michael Scott: And I also built this table.
Jim: What is that, chestnut?
Michael Scott: No, it's either pine or Nordic cherry.
Jan: It's pine.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Jim: I'm just terrible at this stuff, so that's cool.
Jan: Really?
Pam: Yeah. Yeah, he tried to set up my Tivo for me, but then I didn't have audio for a week.
Michael Scott: If you ever need any help, I'm just a phone call away.
Jan: I bet you are.

Jan: How about we do the short tour, and then I'll start dinner?
Pam: Oh, I can help starting dinner, if you need it.
Jan: Oh, no, no, no. It's just the osso buco needs to braise for about three hours. Everything else's done.
Pam: Three hours from now, or three hours from earlier, like 4:00?
Jan: You know, Pam, in Spain, they often don't even start eating until midnight.
Michael Scott: When in Rome.