Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Andy's Play’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Office: Andy's Play

703. Andy's Play

Aired October 7, 2010

Andy invites his co-workers to attend the opening night of a local production of "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street", but the colleague he most wanted to be there, Erin, makes other plans.

Quote from Creed

Creed: [on cell phone] Unfortunately, in this ham-fisted production of Sweeney Todd, the real terror comes from the vocal performances. New paragraph.

Rate

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: In the criminal justice system, the people are defended by two separate but equally important groups, the police who investigate the crimes and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories. Kun-kun! [imitates vacuum cleaner] I'm just a cleaning lady. Aah! A dead body. He wrapped his belt around his own neck. It looks like a classic case of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Yeah, looks like everyone's tightening their belts in this economy. [humming theme music] Last time you saw the victim, was he happy? Last time I saw this John, he was-he wasn't a victim, if you know what I'm talkin' about.
Shelby: Thanks you.
Michael Scott: No, that was- I'm just getting into the first act.

Quote from Erin

Erin: I really wanted to see Andy's play, because he's so, so talented. But I've been trying to get in the babysitting game forever. The thirteen-year-olds in this town have a complete monopoly. It's almost like a babysitters club.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Gabe is not coming, which is huge because my plan is to make Erin fall back in love with me tonight. Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It's so powerful, even a lot of men can't resist a man singing show tunes.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: They say that no one can take your pride, but the people who cast Andy's play, they took mine.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Andy: Jim, Pam, you guys are in, right?
Pam: Oh, we wanted to, but our sitter just fell through. I'm really sorry.
Andy: Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Uh, no, thank you. Last time I went to the theater, a man dressed as a cat sat on my lap.

Quote from Michael Scott

Stanley: You brought balloons to a play?
Michael Scott: I did, because I am being the bigger man, and balloons are bigger than flowers.
Phyllis: It's nice, like Up.
Michael Scott: Yes.
Usher: Excuse me, are you the guy who did an entire Law & Order episode for his audition?
Michael Scott: Nope.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Angela: That was more horrifying than Nunsense.
Dwight K. Schrute: All that singing got in the way of some perfectly good murders.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Mmm! Fruit is so much better when it's dried. I've already eaten, like, 30 apricots.

Quote from Creed

Darryl: I had no idea. This plumber has pipes!
Michael Scott: Yeah, good job. Well done.
Sweeney Todd: You're the guy who booed me.
Michael Scott: Hmm? No, there were a lot of people booing you. I wasn't one of em.
Sweeney Todd: No, I saw you, and you were the only one.
Michael Scott: Get your eyes checked, chuckle-head.
Creed: Be cool, Michael. I saw this guy kill a bunch of people. Good work.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Hey, what's going on here? Post-show blues?
Andy: Yeah, I guess you could say that.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I get those every day after work.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Andy, listen to me. Look me in the eye. I thought that you were awesome.
Andy: Stop just saying that.
Michael Scott: I am not just saying that. You can trust that I am telling you the truth. I booed someone tonight. I have no filter. And if I thought you were terrible, I would have booed. And if I thought you had done a better job, I would be saying nicer things right now. But I thought that you were exactly awesome. No better, no worse.
Andy: Thank you. That feels good.
Michael Scott: I did not say that to make you feel good. I just said it. Total integrity.

Quote from Erin

Erin: Did you write this?
Andy: No.
Erin: Who did?
Andy: Steven Sondheim.
Erin: Who is he?

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Oh, that was amazing! That was awesome! I auditioned for this. When did the cast list go up?
Andy: Like a month ago.
Michael Scott: Really? They didn't call me. Who am I playing? ... Andy?

Quote from Michael Scott

Andy: Will you please be the bigger man and come to my show?
Michael Scott: I wish I could, Andy, but I can't. I have plans that night. I'm going to see a friend in a play called Sweeney Todd. You're that friend. I'm going to see your play.
Andy: Noishe!
Michael Scott: And scene.

Page 2 


 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode