Michael Scott: Jim Halpert. Pros: Smart, cool, good-looking. Remind you of anybody you know? Cons: Not a hard worker. I can spend all day on a project, and he will finish the same project in a half an hour.

Stanley: Do you expect me to believe that you're truly making your recommendations on this basis?
Michael Scott: Word. Here we go. Let's see it.
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself. Game on!

Michael Scott: What happens to a company if somebody takes a boss away? I will answer your question with a question. It's like what happens to a chicken when you take its head away. It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be a chicken head.

Michael Scott: Dwight is an obvious candidate for my job. He has the best sales record in the office. He loves the work. He is, however, an idiot.

Michael Scott: Andy Bernard. Pros: He's classy, he gets me. He went to Cornell. I trust him. Cons: I don't really trust him.

Oscar: If either of these guys are put in charge of the office, I will transfer to Albany. Gil can come if he wants. I'm kind of looking for a way out of that relationship, anyway. I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see.

Pam: Hey. I wanna say something. I've been trying to be more honest lately, and I just need to say a few things.
I did the coal walk. Just- I did it. Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss. Wow, I feel really good right now. Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist. Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we're not even friends. And things are just, like, weird between us, and that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. And I really miss you. I shouldn't have been with Roy. And there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding. But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you. And now you're with someone else. And that's fine. It's- Whatever. That's not what I'm- I'm not- Okay, my feet really hurt. The thing that I'm just trying to say to you, Jim, and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle. Okay, I am gonna go walk in the water now.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: Yeah. It's a good day.

Michael Scott: I am also considering Stanley because of all the good that black people have done for America.

Kevin: I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.

Michael Scott: Look, I don't- I don't wanna leave this branch that I love to an outside hire. Therefore, we're going to have a 100-point, winner-take-all, sudden death, Tribal Council round to test the aspect of my job that I think is the most important. Something I call the Bob Hope factor.
Kelly: Who's Bob Hope?
Michael Scott: God! He's- He's a comedian.
Kelly: Oh, like Amanda Bynes.
Michael Scott: Who's Amanda Bynes?
Kelly: She's from What a Girl Wants.
Michael Scott: Oh, I love that movie. Yes. Kelly is right. The person to replace me has to have a great sense of humor. And they have to possess the leadership qualities of a Bynes or a Hope.