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‘Costume Contest’ Quotes

The Office: Costume Contest

706. Costume Contest

Aired October 28, 2010

On Halloween, Michael is upset when he learns Darryl went behind his back to suggest an idea to corporate, while the office makes a big deal about Danny's former relationship with Pam.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I know how to sit on a fence. Hell, I can even sleep on a fence. The trick is to do it face down with the post in your mouth.

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Quote from Stanley

Jim: Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug, and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won't notice?
[back:]
Stanley: What's a seven letter word for purse?
Kevin: [sitting at Phyllis' desk, dressed like Phyllis] Satchel!
Stanley: Nope. Starts with an H.
Andy: [shirtless with a tie] Handbag.
Stanley: Hmm. Thank you.
Andy: Shh! Shhh!
Michael Scott: [wearing fake teeth] All right, everybody, take a seat. As you may have heard, our branch on the planet Jupiter is up eight thousand percent in sales!
All: Yay! [applause]
Stanley: [looks at the clock, then at his watch] Hold up! That clock is slow. It is five o'clock, I will see you all tomorrow:
Pam: [turns around, is wearing a mustache] Bye, Stanley! Love you! [waves, Stanley leaves]
Dwight K. Schrute: [standing next to a pony] So long, Stanley!
Stanley: Night, everybody.

Quote from Stanley

Andy: Suck it. [removes teeth] Bill Compton, from True Blood.
Stanley: How many freakin' vampires am I supposed to care about these days?

Quote from Kevin

Oscar: So what kind of statement are you making with that costume, Kevin?
Kevin: The statement that I am making, Oscar, is that I kind of look like Michael Moore.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: What the hell are they talking about?
Dwight K. Schrute: Hmm, Kevin and Gabe. Probably about the extremes of the human physique.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: Stop.
Dwight K. Schrute: Too late! If I was the real Scranton Strangler, you'd be so strangled right now. If you're out there, strangler, you will get caught! By me.
Jim: Sounds like someone's really trying to convince us that he's not the Scranton Strangler.
Dwight K. Schrute: To my chickens I'm the Scranton Strangler.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Darryl Philbin is the greatest guy in the world. And you know what I'd like? I would like to have all the racists brought together and take Darryl Philbin out to lunch. Just to see what they're missing.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Okay, this whole going over my head-gate? Is making people act weird. The chain of command is crumbling. Do you know what just happened? I just made Kevin cry. And Gabe looks like Lady Gaga. That's not Halloween. Halloween should be a day in which we honor monsters and not be mad at each other.
Darryl: I'm not mad. Are you mad?
Michael Scott: You went over my head. And then you lied to my face. So my head and my face have taken a beating.

Quote from Erin

Erin: Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin! Happy Halloween! How can I haunt you today?

Quote from Gabe

Gabe: In case you can't read m-m-my Poker Face... [laughs] we will be reviewing our sales policies.

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: Everyone realizes that this coupon book isn't actually worth fifteen thousand dollars, right? You'd have to spend two hundred thousand dollars on crap you don't actually need to get fifteen thousand dollars worth of benefits. I'm not the only one who sees this, right?
Toby: No.
Ryan: No.
Kelly: I get that. I get that.

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: I am never gonna forget what Danny did to Pam. I forget nothing. I'm like an elephant in that way.

Quote from Angela

Angela: This is an amazing prize. I mean, I don't even want to give Pam a compliment, because she's so bleuch, but she did a good job. I really want that coupon book.

Quote from Kevin

Michael Scott: Oh my God! Okay. All right. All right. You know what? That's inappropriate, Kevin. I am your boss, and if you have something to say, it goes through me, and then I take it to Gabe. Chain of command. Do you understand?
Kevin: I am so sorry.
Michael Scott: Oh, you're sorry?
Kevin: I just thought-
Michael Scott: What did you just thought?
Kevin: Well, Gabe asked me if there were any really cool Lady Gaga moves that he could do for the catwalk. And so then I tol-[tries not to cry]
Michael Scott: All right.
Kevin: I told him that there was this one cool move where she powers down like a robot.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Kevin: Okay? But I- I am so sorry that I didn't tell you first.
Michael Scott: Well, don't let it happen again.
Kevin: [hysterical] You think that I would let this happen again?! No way, Jose! [bleep] you, Gabe!

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: Could you for once just let us enjoy a party instead of making it about all your issues?

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: I present to you the [air quotes] "rational consumer", as it were.

Quote from Angela

Pam: Angela as the nurse!
[aside to camera:]
Angela: I don't like your tone! Look, they were sold out of all the other costumes, okay? I think we all live in the real world, here. Let's not pretend to be unaware of what sells in this office.

Quote from Jim

Jim: To be honest, I still can't believe he didn't call her back. Who doesn't call a dork like that back?

Quote from Oscar

Pam: Okay, everyone, I've tallied the votes, and the winner of the costume celebration spectacular and the Scranton Wilkes-Barre coupon book, Oscar Martinez.
[later, individually to camera:]
Kelly: If I have to vote for someone, I don't want it to be someone who can beat me.
Ryan: Shake things up. I'm a Nader guy.
Creed: Best Edward James Olmos costume I've ever seen. Like, freaky good.


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