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‘PDA’ Quotes

The Office: PDA

716. PDA

Aired February 10, 2011

On Valentine's Day, Michael and Holly's public displays of affection make their colleagues uncomfortable. Meanwhile, Erin spends the day with Andy trying to solve Gabe's romantic treasure hunt, and Pam and Jim return to work after a boozy Valentine's Day lunch.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet. And this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

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Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: My perfect Valentine's Day? I'm at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the 50 restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: No, no, it's great. I love working at Dunder Mifflin, a division of Taliban Enterprises.

Quote from Holly

Holly: I cannot keep myself from Michael. Everything he does is sexy. He has this undeniable animal magnetism. He's a jungle cat. The man exudes sex. He can put both his legs behind his head.

Quote from Holly

Michael Scott: What are our plans for tonight? Umm...
Holly: [imitates a squeaky bed; they both laugh]

Quote from Darryl

Pam: Hey. How you doing?
Darryl: Thinking about my grandmother a lot.
Pam: Yeah.
Darryl: She was about to turn 97.
Pam: At least she lived a very long and I'm sure, a very happy life. Got you this card. When you're ready. We all signed it. We just wanted you to know we're thinking about you.
Darryl: Thank you. "Congratulations, Darryl. Let's get wasted." "Have fun today, big guy." "Aww, yeah. Party time. Whoo-whoop."
Pam: It's possible that some people thought it was your birthday.
Darryl: "Hooray. Live it up, big D. " "Days like this don't come often enough. Time to celebrate. You deserve this"?
[Dwight blows a party horn]
Andy: Birthday punches! [softly punching Darryl in the stomach] One, two, three, four, five...
Pam: I'm so sorry.

Quote from Phyllis

Phyllis: Blue Wasabi is so good, but get the cheeseburger. They say they won't do it, but they will if you make a scene.

Quote from Pam

Jim: We decided to have a Valentine's day lunch and then that way we can spend the entire night with Cece and avoid the Valentine's day dinner thing. It's a whole thing.
Pam: [loudly] Yeah, lunch was wonderful!
Jim: Shh.
Pam: Um, there was an amazing buffet and there was a chocolate fondue... station. And what else was there?
Jim: Um, bottomless champagne.
Pam: Yes. Never found that bottom, did we?
Jim: No.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: [on the phone] All right, I will fax over it to you. Whoop. I will fax it over to you. Okay. Thank you. [chuckles]
Dwight K. Schrute: [picking up the phone] Okay, my name is J-J-J-J-J-J Jim Halpert and I will fax it in to you... Under you. I'll fax it under you. Oh, excuse me. I just p-p-p-p-p pissed my pants. Not really. I didn't really.

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: I don't know, guys. I, for one, enjoy watching them, because...
Angela: No, stop! Just don't.
Oscar: Kevin!
Kevin: Can I finish? Can I finish? Is that okay? I was saying... I enjoy watching them because it makes me horny.
All: [groans]
Angela: Kevin!

Quote from Michael Scott

Gabe: Seeing as it's Valentine's Day, I felt it would be apropos to have a little refresher course on romance in the workplace.
Michael Scott: Perfect. Yes. It is quite apro-propriate. Carry on.

Quote from Gabe

Gabe: Okay. So, PDAs. That's gonna include behaviors such as hugging, kissing, uh...
Kevin: Booby honking.
Gabe: Yeah, booby honking. Sure.
Kevin: Butt honking.
Gabe: Butt honking. Yeah, all the honking.
Creed: The one where you start in a crouched position, then you leap...
Gabe: Sure. Basically, there's no precise definition, but you know it when you see it.

Quote from Kevin

Dwight K. Schrute: Michael. Confession: I have done PDA in the office.
Michael Scott: Thank you.
Dwight K. Schrute: I've had intercourse in the office.
Michael Scott: All right.
Dwight K. Schrute: As has Angela!
Angela: Dwight!
Dwight K. Schrute: As has Ryan. As has Kelly. As has Meredith. As has Phyllis. As has Darryl. As has Creed. [Creed smiles and nods] As has Michael and as has Holly.
Kevin: As has Kevin!
Angela: With who?
Kevin: She goes to another school.

Quote from Jim

Pam: Let me make something clear. Jim and I have never and will never have sex in the office.
Jim: No, because the office isn't what I'd consider a romantic place.
Pam: Besides, we have something those other people don't have, which is a home and a bed.
Jim: And a shower.

Quote from Gabe

Gabe: No one is a bigger fan of sexual touching than me. But with you two, it's reaching the level of a complex. I can think of three explanations. One, you're taking MDMA. Street name, Ecstasy. I've done it, and I know the feeling.
Holly: No, I don't think so.
Gabe: Number two, you're desperately trying to fit in a whole relationship before Toby comes back from jury duty and Holly has to go back to Nashua. Or three, you're at an age where your sexual climaxes aren't as powerful so you need to overcompensate with foreplay, taboo behavior...
Michael Scott: Yes, it was that. It's that one.
Holly: Yes. Number three.

Quote from Holly

Michael Scott: I haven't thought about you having to go back to Nashua.
Holly: Maybe we didn't want to think about it. We can make it work. We'll date long-distance.
Michael Scott: That's what we said last time. Remember? We broke up on the drive. How's this gonna be any different?
Holly: We weren't in love last time.
Michael Scott: I was in love with you.
Holly: I'm not saying it won't be hard. But we can make it work. That's what she said.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: It's like a time bomb...
Dwight K. Schrute: Shh.
Michael Scott: ...is ticking down. When it goes off, no more kissing. No more hugging.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just hush.
Michael Scott: Sexual time bomb.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just rock. Shh.
Michael Scott: [into recorder] Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or we go against type with an Eisenberg or a Michael Cera.
Dwight K. Schrute: Movie idea?
Michael Scott: No. [into recorder] Saving the world has never been this hard.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. As of today, officially, Holly and I are moving into together. Yay! [claps] Thank you. Thank you. Oscar, this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love, my friend!
Oscar: Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up.
Kevin: Better luck next time, pal.
Michael Scott: Well, the point is, there will no longer be any need for PDA here at the office between us because, when we get home, we are going to make love to and with one another, and that, to me, is the best Valentine's Day present that a person could receive. So I bid you all adieu.
Holly: You do?
Michael Scott: I do.
Oscar: Go on, kiss each other already. [they kiss]
Kevin: Suck it, Oscar. This must kill you.
Oscar: I just told them to do it!

Quote from Ryan

Ryan: Anybody can be Prince Charming one day a year with the dinner and the flowers and all that. But you know what impresses me? When a guy can do that no days a year.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Hey, you know why people here are complaining? They are jealous of two people in love on Valentine's Day.
Holly: Two people in love?
Michael Scott: I love you.
Holly: Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean, "you love me"? We've only been dating for a week. Do you mean you love me like, "Oh, hey, there's Holly. I love that girl." Or you do you mean you love me like you love me-love me?
Michael Scott: I love you-love you.
Holly: Wow, you love me-love me. I love you-love you.
Michael Scott: I am really disappointed in the office's policy on PDA at this moment. I love you. [shakes Holly's hand]
Holly: I love you.

Quote from Holly

Michael Scott: Holly, I love you so, so, so much. And I think we need to break up.
Holly: What? What are you talking about?
Michael Scott: Actually, it's Valentine's Day. Shouldn't be doing this today. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Holly: No, we're gonna talk now. You're not breaking up with me.
Michael Scott: You're gonna go back to Nashua, eventually, and I can't handle it. So let's just- Let's-
Holly: What if I said it wasn't up to them?
Michael Scott: Who?
Holly: The company. Nobody knows our future, but it's not gonna be decided by the company. It's not gonna be decided by anybody but us. What we are is up to you and me.


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