Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Michael Scott Paper Company’ Quotes

The Office: Michael Scott Paper Company

523. Michael Scott Paper Company

Aired April 9, 2009

It's the first day at work for Michael, Pam and Ryan at the Michael Scott Paper Company. Meanwhile, Jim isn't sure about an instruction from Charles.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Maybe the Michael Scott Paper Company was a huge mistake. I should leave. I should go, and start my own paper company. That'll show 'em.

Rate

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Yes, I am taking Andy hunting after work. Not long ago we were sexual competitors. I used to hate him, hate him, hate him, hate him. I studied him, to figure out why I hated him so much. But that blossomed into a very real friendship, as these things often do.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: It's Britney bitch. And I am back, in the form of a new company. The Michael Scott Paper Company. [attempts to parallel park, hits car.] Okay. Not gonna make this one.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: [playing guitar over Andy's banjo playing] Hey you want to sing with me? Almost heaven...
Dwight and Erin: West Virginia, Blue Ridge mountain, Shenandoah River
Dwight K. Schrute: In German! Das Leben ist dort alt, älter als Bäume, jünger als Berge und weht wie eine Brise
Dwight and Andy: Take me home, country roads, to the place, I belong. West Virginia, mountain momma, take me home, country roads. [Erin leaves]
Dwight K. Schrute: Take it, Andy! Take me home, to the place I belong, Ba bah dah duh
Toby: You have to stop.

Quote from Ryan

Michael Scott: Hey, Ryan, could you get to that copy from before?
Ryan: Pam's better at that stuff
Pam: That is so insulting.
Ryan: How is it insulting to say that you're good at something?
Pam: Because the thing you're saying I'm good at, is pushing a big green button a bunch of times.
Ryan: I'm not judging it, it's like ... I could run GM but I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying one is better than the other.
Pam: Seriously? Because it sounds like one of those is better than the other.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I don't know I think we've done absolutely everything you can do to prepare for the day. I've updated our contacts, I have gotten quotes from suppliers. I have sent out an E-vite for our big grand opening pancake luncheon. Six yeses, one maybe, only eleven noes. Um, and 788 not yet replieds. But of that group, 782 have viewed it.

Quote from Pam

Pam: I make that one copy, and I become the girl who makes copies, and by the end of the day I'm receptionist again. And the worst part is, I like making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff. And it's cold in there. Cause it's technically a closet.

Quote from Michael Scott

Pam: Morning, Michael.
Michael Scott: Hello. They took away my parking space but they can't take away my pride! [climbs out of his car]

Quote from Jim

Jim: The new receptionist is also named Kelly. So Kelly Kapoor has decided to hover around my desk, so that she can run into his Charles' office every time he calls for Kelly. She thinks if she says "You wanted me" enough, he will in fact want her. It's not the worse plan she's ever had.

Quote from Kelly

Charles: Oh, and Kelly...
Kelly: Yes, Charles? Yes, you wanted me?
Charles: Okay, I'm gonna call you Kapoor, okay? And you, Hannon.
Erin: If we're changing names, can I be Erin? It's my middle name.
Charles: Erin. Okay, that's very pretty.
Kelly: Well, you know what my middle name is? Rajani Ghanda! And I hate it! I hate it!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: [After a toilet flushes] We are in the heart of it. And the surge of water carries our business out to the sea.

Quote from Ryan

Ryan: You should come into town this weekend, man. Yeah, we'll hang out Scranton style.
Michael Scott: Hey, you said you were gonna be out of town this weekend.
Ryan: Please don't listen to my phone calls. Yeah, she's like um, she'd probably be a six in New York, but she's like a seven here in Scranton. And then uh, my boss is my old boss from Dunder Mifflin. It's a small space.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: [on the phone] They're getting on my nerves Mom. Both of them. R thinks he's too good to be here, and P is not as much fun without Jim.
Pam: Michael, we can hear you.
Michael Scott: I'm on the phone, please. Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back. P's being a giant B.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends and they are right! So, I hired my best friends. And this is what I get?

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: That's my corner.
Pam: I thought that was your corner.
Michael Scott: No, this is where I work. I can't relax in the same corner where I work.
Pam: So my corner's the one with the copier?
Michael Scott: Pam, I don't make the rules.

Quote from Creed

Creed: These are terrible boss. You gotta make them in a circle so that they cook evenly.
Michael Scott: These are shaped like paper.
Creed: Well, I don't even want these.
Meredith: I'll take them for my kid.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I once had a dream. That I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. And, let me tell you something, it was delicious. So the next day, I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting. [The phone rings] It is a disgusting sandwich. [It rings again.] And the reason I tell you this story- Just, pick up the phone.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Who would have thought, that the thing that would save this company would be work? And pancakes? In the end, this day definitely had its ups and downs. I realize that we don't have the biggest office. Which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot. But, we have people with the biggest hearts. And I think for a small company that is really [flushing]... Someone went to the bathroom. That is really what's important.

Quote from Toby

Toby: [overheard from bathroom] "Not much? What's up with you? Nah it's okay. I'm in the bathroom. Hey you been watching Damages this year? It's so good. No, you gotta tune in, it's as good as anything on HBO. [sound of urine flow] Hey does blue go with tan?"
Michael Scott: Would someone just make the copy?
Toby: I have like, like a blue shirt? I don't wear a lot of colors, I have a lot of tan. Uh huh.
Michael Scott: Just make that copy okay?


 Episode 522 Episode 524 
  Select another episode