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‘Sexual Harassment’ Quotes

The Office: Sexual Harassment

202. Sexual Harassment

Aired September 27, 2005

Corporate orders Toby to host a review of the branch's sexual harassment policies.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I am "King of Forwards." It's how I like to do business. Everybody joking around. We're like Friends. I am Chandler and Joey. And Pam is Rachel. And Dwight is Kramer.

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Quote from Jim

Jim: Hey, what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy.

Quote from Jim

Michael Scott: Man, that Todd Packer can do anything.
Jim: Except pass that breathalyzer.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Attention, everyone. Hello. Yes, I just want you to know that, this is not my decision, but from here on out, we can no longer be friends. And when we talk about things here, we must only discuss work-associated things. And you can consider this my retirement from comedy. And in the future, if I want to say something funny, or witty, or do an impression, I will no longer ever do any of those things.
Jim: Does that include "that's what she said"?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Jim: Wow, that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so-
Michael Scott: That's what she said!

Quote from Todd

Ryan: You a big William Hung fan?
Todd: Why does everybody ask me that? Who the hell is that?

Quote from Jim

Jim: 'cause I have a lot of questions.
Pam: Oh, really?
Jim: Yeah. "As a child, did Pam show any traits that would hint towards her future career as a receptionist?"

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Okay, what is a lawyer gonna come in and tell us? To not send out hilarious e-mails? Or not tell jokes?
Toby: Maybe not some of them, maybe not inappropriate ones.
Michael Scott: There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.

Quote from Phyllis

Meredith: What about office romance?
Todd: Office relationships are never a good idea. So let's just try to avoid them, but if you already have one, you should disclose it to HR.
Phyllis: All relationships? Even a one-night stand?

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: What do you say? Jim?
Jim: No thanks, I'm good.
Michael Scott: That's what she said. Pam?
Pam: My mother's coming.
Michael Scott: That's what she said. [chuckles] No, but, okay, well, suit yourself.

Quote from Pam

Pam: [to Todd] I don't have any DUIs, so I can drive myself, but thanks.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: When I said before that I was "King of Forwards," you gotta understand, that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who was just delivering drugs from one guy to another.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I'm so used to being the "bad boy." I am so used to fighting corporate, that I forget that I am corporate. Upper management. They hooked me up with an attorney, to protect me. You can't be too careful about what you say. Mo' money, mo' problems.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Look, Kevin, we are a family here, and Phyllis is a valued member of that family, like a grandmother.
Phyllis: I'm the same age as you, Michael.
Michael Scott: Well, I don't know about that.
Phyllis: We're the same high school class-
Michael Scott: Well, I have a late birthday, and usually September is the cut-off point.

Quote from Todd

Todd: What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? This guy!


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