Toby Flenderson Quotes Page 1 of 6

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager

Toby: [excitedly] Oh, I should get the accident report binder. I've never used the gun violence forms before.

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Quote from Pool Party

Oscar: Toby, what's compelling about this is the note of persimmon. Right?
Toby: Note? It's a symphony.
Oscar: Okay, you have to join my wine-tasting club.
Toby: I would love that.
[aside to camera:]
Toby: Toby, you are playing a dangerous game. Guess I'm through the gateway now, though, right?

Quote from The Negotiation

Toby: I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But if he did intend that- Wow. Genius.

Quote from Casual Friday

Toby: Well, I was in the Seminary for a year and dropped out 'cause I wanted to have sex with this girl, Cathy. Followed her to Scranton. Took the first job I could find in H.R. Later she divorced me. So no, I wouldn't say I have a passion for H.R.

Quote from Christmas Wishes

Toby: You know this sounds a lot like the premise of my latest Chad Flendermen novel. A murder for framing.
[aside to camera:]
Toby: Chad Flendermen. Just an easy going black guy, he knows the streets, yet he also went to Oxford. So... Just as comfortable on a motorcycle as he is on Air Force One. Oh and he's also the world's leading Egyptologist.
[back:]
Angela: Toby! Nobody cares about your sex-crazed black detective.
Toby: No, no, no, no, no. Women chase him. He misses his wife.

Quote from Turf War

Harry: Where do you get off crossing state lines?
Toby: Now, we're actually a lot closer to Binghamton than you are. Kimosabe.
[aside to camera:]
Toby: I like to think Lloyd Gross is a no-nonsense guy who doesn't back down from anybody. And he calls people "Kimosabe".

Quote from Casino Night

Michael Scott: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby? We're gonna-
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's... You know, there's gambling and alcohol, and it's in our dangerous warehouse and it's a school night. And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know, is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael Scott: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

Quote from Goodbye, Michael

Toby: [on video chat] Here's the thing, Rory. I think you guys would hit it off in an odd way.
Rory: I could bring him a welcome basket. I'll surprise him.
Toby: Okay, well, you should give him a little time to settle in, but...
Rory: Does he like jams? My shelves are overflowing with preserves.
Toby: Well, no, he hates jams.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager

Toby: I am supposed to collect eyewitness accounts. Who saw Dwight do this? [all raise their hands]
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, really?
Toby: Would you consider this a terrorist incident?
Ryan: I felt terrorized.
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on.
Toby: Oh, there's a whole 'nother terrorism booklet for that.

Quote from Lotto

Toby: I would spend a lot of time launching my true crime podcast, The Flenderson Files. Dum-bum-buh. [whispers] Flenderson files.

Quote from Casino Night

Michael Scott: That's insane.
Toby: I have good cards.
Michael Scott: Well, Toby, I went all-in on the first hand, so doesn't that tell you that I might have good cards, too? So, don't be stupid. Just take it back.
Croupier: No, I'm sorry. He can't, sir. He's gone all-in.
Michael Scott: Okay, all right, whatever.
Croupier: Flip them.
Michael Scott: You really- Screwed that up.
[aside to camera:]
Toby: I don't really play cards, but I'm not gonna lie to you. It felt really good to take money from Michael.

Quote from The Negotiation

Toby: This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial.

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