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34Quotes from ‘Hot Girl’

The Office: Hot Girl

106. Hot Girl

Aired April 26, 2005

The guys at Dunder Mifflin attempt to impress a handbag saleswoman who stops by the office.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Decisiveness. One of the keys to success, according to Small Businessman. [to camera:] I do. I read Small Business man. I also, uh, subscribe to USA Today and American Way Magazine. That's the in-flight magazine. Some great articles in that. They did this great profile, last month, of Doris Roberts and where she likes to eat when she's in Phoenix. Illuminating.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office. It's a drug. It is quite literally a drug that speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the '80s, before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. God! Man, did they move paper.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: The purse girl hits everything on my check list. Creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: You should sell a lot here because this branch made over $1 million last year. Not that we're all millionaires. I'm probably closest.

Quote from Michael Scott

Katy: I guess a cup of coffee would be great.
Michael Scott: Wait a second. Oh, I should have spotted another addict. Gotta love the 'bucks.
Katy: What?
Michael Scott: It's like a slang for Starbucks. They're all over the place. Oh, man. That place is like the promised land to me. What a business model, too.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I live by one rule. No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate. No. But I live by another rule. Just do it. Nike.

Quote from Michael Scott

Jan: We've created an incentive program to increase sales. You can reward your top seller with a prize worth up to $1,000.
Michael Scott: Woo. Howdy-ho. Wow. A thousand big ones. That's cool. Do I, uh, get to pick the prize?
Jan: Yes. Yes, you can.
Michael Scott: Question. Does top salesman include people who were at one time such outstanding salesmen that they've been promoted to-
Jan: No, Michael. No, you can't win this prize.
Michael Scott: Well, I didn't mean me.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: Michael: Well, first what we have to do is find out what motivates people more than anything else.
Dwight K. Schrute: Sex.
Michael Scott: It's illegal, can't do that. Next best thing.
Dwight K. Schrute: Torture.
Michael Scott: Come on, Dwight. Help me out here. This is stupid.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: All right, girls, break it up. You're being infiltrated. Cock in the hen house.
Dwight K. Schrute: Cocks in the hen house.
Michael Scott: Don't say cocks.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Here's Oscar. Oscar, this is Katy.
Oscar: I'm on the phone.
Michael Scott: Woo-woo. Oscar the grouch. Right? I thought of that.
Katy: That was on Sesame Street.
Michael Scott: I know. I made the connection. Can you believe he'd never heard that before he worked here?
Katy: No, I don't believe that. It's unbelievable.

Quote from Jim

Kevin: Well, what is your type?
Jim: Moms, primarily. Soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms, any type of mom, really.
Roy: That's disgusting.
Kelly: Stay away from my mom.
Jim: Too late, Kev.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Pam and I are good buddies. I'm sort of Pam's go-to guy for her problems. You know, with stuff like work or her fiancé, Roy. Or um... No, those are pretty much her only two problems.

Quote from Jim

Dwight K. Schrute: She's been talking to Michael a lot.
Jim: So what? You're assistant regional manager.
Dwight K. Schrute: Assistant to the regional manager.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: You have so much more to talk to this girl about. You're both, um, salesmen. That's something right there.
Dwight K. Schrute: True. Plus, I could talk to her about the origins of my last name.
Jim: It's all gold.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Just keep talking to her. If you hit a stall, you have a fall-back.
Dwight K. Schrute: What's that?
Jim: You buy a purse.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't want a purse. Purses are for girls.
Jim: Dwight, that's not necessarily true. Do you read GQ?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: I do. They're like mini briefcases. All right. Lots of guys have them.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: She asked me for a ride and so I am going to give her a ride home.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that all it is? Just a ride home? Like a taxicab?
Michael Scott: Well, might be a ride home. Might be a ride home and we stop for coffee and dot-dot-dot...
Dwight K. Schrute: Please. Please, I am your inferior and I'm asking you this favor. Can you promise me that it will just be a ride home?
Michael Scott: No. I cannot promise you that.
Dwight K. Schrute: You cannot promise me, or you won't promise me?
Michael Scott: Listen, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Do you love her?
Michael Scott: Dwight, no. I don't know. It's too early to tell. I don't know how I feel.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Just throw out all the empties.
Ryan: You don't want to recycle them?
Michael Scott: Um, yes. Throw them away in the recycling bin.
Ryan: Do you want this?
Michael Scott: No.
Ryan: What about this power drink?
Michael Scott: What flavor?
Ryan: Blue.
Michael Scott: Blue's not a flavor.
Ryan: It says "Flavor, blue blast."
Michael Scott: Oh, blue blast. Yes, put that in the trunk. And there should be an unopened Arctic Chill. I want that in the passenger's cup holder. Thank you.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Whoa. That's my Drakkar Noir.
Ryan: No, this is Rite Aid Night Swept.
Michael Scott: No, it is a perfect smell-alike. I'm not paying for the label. Right here. Give it.
Ryan: Well, it's empty.
Michael Scott: Not it's not, there's some in the straw. [applies some] There, now you may throw it out.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I think in order to be a ladies' man, it's imperative people don't know you're a ladies' man. So I kinda play that close to the chest. I don't know, what can I say? Women are attracted to power. And I think other people have told me I have a very symmetrical face. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they're right. I don't know.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah, of course. A bunch of them. My employees. If I had to choose between a one-night stand with some stupid cow I'd pick up at a bar, and these people, I'd pick them every time. Because with them, it is an every-day stand. And I still know their names in the morning.

Quote from Michael Scott

Jan: [on the phone] Are you listening to me?
Michael Scott: Affirmative.
Jan: What did I just say?
Michael Scott: You just said- Let me check my notes. You just said-
Jan: Alan and I have created an incentive program.
Michael Scott: Hey, how is Alan? Tell Alan that the Mets suck. OK? From me, big time. Go Pirates!
Jan: I'm not going to do that.
Michael Scott: Okay.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: No, here's the thing. You know I do my best to to be my own man and go by the beat of a different drummer. And nobody gets me. And they're always putting up walls and I'm always tearing 'em down. Just breaking down barriers, that's what I do all day. So, a coffee. Regular coffee. For you. High test or unleaded?

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: So are you jealous because there's another girl around?
Pam: No.
Kevin: She's prettier than you, though.
Pam: That's a very rude thing to say, Kevin.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Ryan, would you look after the purses, please?
Ryan: I'm installing file share on the computers.
Michael Scott: Well, blah-dee-blah. Techno babble. Just do it, okay? We have company.

Quote from Pam

Pam: It's nice having Katy around. It's another person for Michael to, um, interact with.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Toby's divorced. He- Uh. Gah. It was recently, right? You and your wife? And you have kids?
Toby: A girl.
Michael Scott: That's so- That was really messy. You slept one night in your car, too?

Quote from Jim

Jim: Stop whatever you're doing. This is going to be good. [in a silly voice] Hi, my name's Dwight Schrute and I would like to buy a purse from you. Good Lord! Look at these purses. This is something special. Oh, my God. Is this Salvatore de Chini-asta?
Pam: [silly voice] Oh, definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that.
Jim: Yes. Well, I want to stress-test it, you know, in case anything happens.
Pam: Oh!
Jim: That was really. This is necessary to do to really give it a good work-out. This is the- This is the prettiest one of all. I'm going to be the prettiest girl in the ball. Oh, how much?
Pam: Oh, God. [normal voice] It's sad. It's so sad.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I mean, I'm out of here at five sharp.
Katy: At five?
Michael Scott: I can go earlier, 'cause I'm the boss. You know, whatever. I'm outta here, slaves.

Quote from Michael Scott

Stanley: Is that from the machine in your office?
Michael Scott: Mm-hm.
Stanley: I thought that was the incentive prize for the top salesperson.
Michael Scott: Very easy to clean. Okay. [to Katy] Like he's going to win anyway.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: So did we get any mail?
Pam: Yeah, I gave it to you.
Michael Scott: Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Just checking. Double-checking. Checking on the check. Thoroughness is very important in an office.
Pam: So can I...?
Michael Scott: Yeah, of course. One more thing. How do girls your age feel about futons?

Quote from Jim

Jim: A futon? He's a grown man.
Pam: That's what he said.
Jim: That's sad. Or it's innovative. Well, you know the futon is a bed and couch all rolled into one.

Quote from Pam

Pam: Jim's a great guy. He's like a brother to me. We're like best friends in the office and I really hope he finds someone.

Quote from Michael Scott

Ryan: Wow. How many Filet-O-Fishes did you eat?
Michael Scott: That's over several months, Ryan

Quote from Jim

Pam: So you got big plans this weekend?
Jim: Uh, well, I think I'm gonna see Katy.
Pam: Really?
Jim: Yeah.
Pam: What are you guys gonna do?
Jim: Man, I don't know. Dinner. Drinks, movie, matching tattoos.


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