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‘Hot Girl’ Quotes

The Office: Hot Girl

106. Hot Girl

Aired April 26, 2005

The guys at Dunder Mifflin attempt to impress a handbag saleswoman who stops by the office.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Decisiveness. One of the keys to success, according to Small Businessman. [to camera:] I do. I read Small Business man. I also, uh, subscribe to USA Today and American Way Magazine. That's the in-flight magazine. Some great articles in that. They did this great profile, last month, of Doris Roberts and where she likes to eat when she's in Phoenix. Illuminating.

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Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office. It's a drug. It is quite literally a drug that speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the '80s, before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. God! Man, did they move paper.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: The purse girl hits everything on my check list. Creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: You should sell a lot here because this branch made over $1 million last year. Not that we're all millionaires. I'm probably closest.

Quote from Michael Scott

Katy: I guess a cup of coffee would be great.
Michael Scott: Wait a second. Oh, I should have spotted another addict. Gotta love the 'bucks.
Katy: What?
Michael Scott: It's like a slang for Starbucks. They're all over the place. Oh, man. That place is like the promised land to me. What a business model, too.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I live by one rule. No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate. No. But I live by another rule. Just do it. Nike.

Quote from Michael Scott

Jan: We've created an incentive program to increase sales. You can reward your top seller with a prize worth up to $1,000.
Michael Scott: Woo. Howdy-ho. Wow. A thousand big ones. That's cool. Do I, uh, get to pick the prize?
Jan: Yes. Yes, you can.
Michael Scott: Question. Does top salesman include people who were at one time such outstanding salesmen that they've been promoted to-
Jan: No, Michael. No, you can't win this prize.
Michael Scott: Well, I didn't mean me.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: Michael: Well, first what we have to do is find out what motivates people more than anything else.
Dwight K. Schrute: Sex.
Michael Scott: It's illegal, can't do that. Next best thing.
Dwight K. Schrute: Torture.
Michael Scott: Come on, Dwight. Help me out here. This is stupid.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: All right, girls, break it up. You're being infiltrated. Cock in the hen house.
Dwight K. Schrute: Cocks in the hen house.
Michael Scott: Don't say cocks.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Here's Oscar. Oscar, this is Katy.
Oscar: I'm on the phone.
Michael Scott: Woo-woo. Oscar the grouch. Right? I thought of that.
Katy: That was on Sesame Street.
Michael Scott: I know. I made the connection. Can you believe he'd never heard that before he worked here?
Katy: No, I don't believe that. It's unbelievable.

Quote from Jim

Kevin: Well, what is your type?
Jim: Moms, primarily. Soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms, any type of mom, really.
Roy: That's disgusting.
Kelly: Stay away from my mom.
Jim: Too late, Kev.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Pam and I are good buddies. I'm sort of Pam's go-to guy for her problems. You know, with stuff like work or her fiancé, Roy. Or um... No, those are pretty much her only two problems.

Quote from Jim

Dwight K. Schrute: She's been talking to Michael a lot.
Jim: So what? You're assistant regional manager.
Dwight K. Schrute: Assistant to the regional manager.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: You have so much more to talk to this girl about. You're both, um, salesmen. That's something right there.
Dwight K. Schrute: True. Plus, I could talk to her about the origins of my last name.
Jim: It's all gold.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Just keep talking to her. If you hit a stall, you have a fall-back.
Dwight K. Schrute: What's that?
Jim: You buy a purse.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't want a purse. Purses are for girls.
Jim: Dwight, that's not necessarily true. Do you read GQ?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: I do. They're like mini briefcases. All right. Lots of guys have them.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: She asked me for a ride and so I am going to give her a ride home.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that all it is? Just a ride home? Like a taxicab?
Michael Scott: Well, might be a ride home. Might be a ride home and we stop for coffee and dot-dot-dot...
Dwight K. Schrute: Please. Please, I am your inferior and I'm asking you this favor. Can you promise me that it will just be a ride home?
Michael Scott: No. I cannot promise you that.
Dwight K. Schrute: You cannot promise me, or you won't promise me?
Michael Scott: Listen, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Do you love her?
Michael Scott: Dwight, no. I don't know. It's too early to tell. I don't know how I feel.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Just throw out all the empties.
Ryan: You don't want to recycle them?
Michael Scott: Um, yes. Throw them away in the recycling bin.
Ryan: Do you want this?
Michael Scott: No.
Ryan: What about this power drink?
Michael Scott: What flavor?
Ryan: Blue.
Michael Scott: Blue's not a flavor.
Ryan: It says "Flavor, blue blast."
Michael Scott: Oh, blue blast. Yes, put that in the trunk. And there should be an unopened Arctic Chill. I want that in the passenger's cup holder. Thank you.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Whoa. That's my Drakkar Noir.
Ryan: No, this is Rite Aid Night Swept.
Michael Scott: No, it is a perfect smell-alike. I'm not paying for the label. Right here. Give it.
Ryan: Well, it's empty.
Michael Scott: Not it's not, there's some in the straw. [applies some] There, now you may throw it out.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I think in order to be a ladies' man, it's imperative people don't know you're a ladies' man. So I kinda play that close to the chest. I don't know, what can I say? Women are attracted to power. And I think other people have told me I have a very symmetrical face. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they're right. I don't know.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah, of course. A bunch of them. My employees. If I had to choose between a one-night stand with some stupid cow I'd pick up at a bar, and these people, I'd pick them every time. Because with them, it is an every-day stand. And I still know their names in the morning.


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