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‘Launch Party’ Quotes Page 1 of 5

The Office: Launch Party

405. Launch Party

Aired October 11, 2007

As Dunder Mifflin gets ready to launch its new website, Michael is excited to be invited to the launch party in New York. Meanwhile, Dwight attempts to keep his crown as the best salesman and out sell the website. When Angela throws a party for the launch at the Scranton branch, things don't go to plan after Michael orders pizza.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: It appears that the website has become alive. This happens to computers and robots sometimes. Am I scared of a stupid computer? Please! The computer should be scared of me. I have been salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months. You heard me right. I did so well last February that corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise.

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Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Listen up, kid. I don't like you, but because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights.

Quote from Jim

Jim: How's it going?
Dwight K. Schrute: Fine. Good.
Jim: Yeah?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah.
Jim: You look a little worried.
Dwight K. Schrute: I do not look worried.
[Dwight receives an I.M. from DunMiff/sys reading "You do look worried.". Dwight composes a message in response.]
Pam: [reading] "Here's a suggestion, computer. I assume you read binary. So why don't you 011-11-011-011?"
Jim: [telling Pam what to type] Um, while you were typing that, I searched every database in existence and learned every fact about everything. And mastered the violin. Oh, and sold more paper.

Quote from Pam

Jim: Do you remember what you said to me on my first day at work, just before you walked me over to my desk?
Pam: Yeah. "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk-mate Dwight."
Jim: And that's when I knew. You?
Pam: You came up to my desk and you said, "This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired."
Jim: That was the moment that you knew you liked me?
Pam: Yep.
Jim: Wow. Can we make it a different moment?
Pam: Nope.

Quote from Andy

Andy: [answering phone] Hello? Hey. Hang on a second. [answering a second phone] Hello? Hang on.
[singing to Angela, guys on phone join in] If you change your mind I'll be first in line Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me If you need me let me know Gonna be around If you got no place to go If you're feeling down If you're all alone When the pretty birds have flown Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me Gonna do my very best And that ain't no lie If you put me to the test If you let me try Take a chance on me. That's all I ask of you, Angela. Take a chance on me.

Quote from Jim

Jim: You need to let him go.
Michael Scott: Let go of little jerk boy? Before he has learned his lesson?
Jim: Yes.
Michael Scott: You know what, Jim? World would be a better place if people were held accountable for their actions.
Jim: Yes, but not by kidnapping them.
Michael Scott: I'm not kidnapping him. I'm keeping him until I get what I want.
Jim: As a hostage.
Michael Scott: I think you're overthinking it.
Jim: I think you're under-thinking it.

Quote from Ryan

[Ryan is interview with his feet up on a desk in a large, corner office]
Ryan: Yeah, I created a website. Look. At the end of the day, Apple's apple is flying at 30,000 feet. This is a paper company. And I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest.
Thomas Dean: [o.s.] I told you I don't want you doing these things. You can use your own office or do it in the hall.
[Ryan continues in a smaller office:]
Ryan: Convergence, viral marketing. We're going guerrilla. We're taking it to the streets while keeping an eye on the street, Wall Street. I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. In other words, it is what it is. Buying paper just became fun.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I've seen this kid before. He's one of the kids who sneaks onto my farm and steals my hemp.
[aside to camera:]
Pizza guy: Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: [on the phone] Yes, is Alfredo there? May I speak to manager then? Okay, could you tell the manager that I am keeping his delivery kid until I get my discount on the eight pizzas I ordered? Yes, I know it is not on the coupon. Also, I would like him to throw in two- three pizzas, um, just for our-
Jim: Ransom.
Michael Scott: Trouble. Okay. All right.
Jim: What'd he say?
Michael Scott: He said no.
Jim: So we should let him go.
Michael Scott: No, no.

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: What's going on?
Jim: Michael just called the pizza place with a list of demands.
Michael Scott: Mr. Overdramatic. What's up, Kev?
Kevin: We're getting hungry out there. We're all accomplices now anyway, so we figured we might as well eat. We would like to order some good pizza from Alfredo's pizza cafe while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end.

Quote from Darryl

Dwight K. Schrute: What are you doing? I am in the fight of my life against this computer, and every sale counts.
Kelly: But you get to put the paper in the little shopping cart and then it says, "Thanks for shopping with Dunder Mifflin."
Dwight K. Schrute: Damn it, Kelly, it knows! It knows what you did!
Darryl: Who knows?
Dwight K. Schrute: Return it. Return it now.
Darryl: Hey. How about instead of yelling at our sweet Miss Kapoor over 500 sheets of paper, you get back to your desk and start selling multiple reams, like a man.
Dwight K. Schrute: You don't understand. Okay, if this makes the difference, I'm gonna tell it that you were responsible.
Darryl: Who's "it"?

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo?
Kevin: Wait. Alfredo's pizza cafe? Or Pizza by Alfredo?
Michael Scott: Same thing. [everyone groans] You know what, I don't understand when you all talk at the same time!
Kevin: Oscar, talk to him.
Oscar: Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places. Both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. Which one did you order from?
Michael Scott: Pizza by Alfredo. [everyone groans] All right, you know what? Okay, okay. What is better, a medium amount of good pizza, or all you can eat of pretty good pizza?
All: A medium amount of good pizza.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: And the same thing goes for quarterly reports. They're unreadable. They're just numbers, and boring, and black. So what I was thinking is that maybe we should have some sort of graphic. Like if we have a bad quarter, put in a storm cloud. And, when we have a good quarter fireworks. Or a race car. [everybody sighs] Doesn't have to be a race car. Use your imagination.

Quote from Jim

Jim: There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day. And sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen and at the last minute it hits the wall and bounces away. We are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it.
[later, also to camera:]
Pam: I saw it. I saw it, and it was amazing. Who said I didn't see it? Did Jim say that? I saw it!

Quote from Michael Scott

[As Michael talks, the employees are busy watching the DVD screensaver on the TV]
Michael Scott: We have a lot of colored paper here. Why, oh, why, do we keep printing this on white?
Andy: No! Come on!
Michael Scott: Yeah. I know. I know. It's bland.
Oscar: It's never gonna happen.
Kevin: Dude, you've gotta believe.
Michael Scott: Maybe we could have some sort of riddle-
Jim: Wait for it.
Pam: Uh-huh.
Michael Scott: Like something that you have to look for Sort of a Where's Waldo? [everyone cheers and applauds] All r- All right. Let's quit while we're ahead.
Kevin: That was so awesome.
Michael Scott: That was awesome. Thank you. [later, to camera] Some days, I am just on fire. What can I say?

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