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‘Basketball’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Office: Basketball

105. Basketball

Aired April 19, 2005

Michael puts together a basketball team to challenge the warehouse workers, with the losers having to work on a Saturday.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: Corporate wants somebody to be here on Saturday and so we're going to have to have a couple of people come in on the weekend, and I know nobody's going to want to do it, and everybody's gonna complain and bitch and I don't wanna have to deal with that.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's why you have an assistant regional manager.
Michael Scott: Yes, it is. Assistant to the regional manager.
Dwight K. Schrute: Same thing.
Michael Scott: No, it's not. It's lower, so...
Dwight K. Schrute: It's close.

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Quote from Jim

Dwight K. Schrute: So we need someone to work this Saturday and I think that should be Jim.
Jim: God, this is so sad. This is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Grumble, grumble, but you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling all the way. Like that dwarf from Lord Of The Rings.
Dwight K. Schrute: Gimli.
Michael Scott: Nerd. But that is why you're not on the team.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just trying to be helpful.
Michael Scott: [in a nerdy voice] "I'll help. Elwyn Dragonslayer. Ten points, power sword."
Jim: That's him.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: So let's put together a starting line-up, shall we? Stanley, of course.
Stanley: I'm sorry?
Michael Scott: Uh, what do you play, center?
Stanley: Why "of course"? What's that supposed to mean?
Michael Scott: Uh. I don't know. I don't remember saying that.
Jim: Uh, I heard it.
Michael Scott: Well, people hear a lot of things, man.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Can I be team captain?
Michael Scott: No, I'm team captain.
Dwight K. Schrute: Can I be team manager?
Michael Scott: No, I am the team manager. You can be assistant to the team manager.
Dwight K. Schrute: Assistant team manager?
Michael Scott: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, we'll see who's working this weekend then.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: When I am playing hoops, all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away. It's gone. I'm in the zone. Who am I? Am I Michael Scott? I don't know. I might just be a basketball machine. What's Dunder Mifflin? I've never heard of it. Filing? Paperwork? Who cares? Possible downsizing? Um... Well, that's probably gonna happen, actually.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: The great thing about sports is that it is all about character. And you can learn lessons about life even if you don't win. But we did because we were ahead.

Quote from Darryl

Michael Scott: This is the foreman, Mister Rogers.
Darryl: That's not my real name.
Michael Scott: No, Darryl is Mister Rogers.
Ryan: Darryl Rogers?
Darryl: Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mister Rogers.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Today, at lunchtime, we're going to be playing the warehouse staff at a friendly little game of basketball. My idea. The last time I was down there, I noticed they'd put up a couple of hoops and I play basketball every weekend so I thought, "This might be kinda fun." And so I started messing around and I'm sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans, so... You know, it's really just a good friendly game, a reason to get together.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Pam, Pam, thank you, ma'am. Messages, please.

Quote from Pam

Pam: My fiancé has plans for us this Saturday so I really hope Dwight doesn't make me work. Maybe I should sleep with him? I'm kidding. Kidding. Totally kidding.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: All right! Managing by walking around! This is our warehouse. Or, as I like to call it, the whorehouse. But don't you do that. I've earned the right.
Ryan: Fine, don't worry about that.
Michael Scott: And here we have "Mister Roger's Neighborhood".

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: And this is Roy. Roy dates Pam. The best-looking one upstairs.
Roy: Yeah.
Michael Scott: You still getting it regular, man, huh? I mean, I can tell her it's part of the job. Rapport.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: So, one o'clock sharp and we've got a game on.
Darryl: We're loading at one.
Michael Scott: I see, you're chickening out on me.
Darryl: No, we got a truck going out at 1:15. That's the busy time.
Michael Scott: Oh. Well, I'm glad that some time is a busy time because whenever I'm down here it doesn't seem too busy to me. [chuckles] Oh. Oh. You can dish it out but you can't take it. OK, fine, have it your way. [bwawks]

Quote from Ryan

Michael Scott: We have Ryan, the new guy, right? Untested. Willing to prove himself now. A lot of passion, a lot of heart.
Ryan: I'm getting paid to skip lunch, right?
Michael Scott: Yes, this is business.

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