Jim: I think it's great that the company's making a commercial. Because not very many people have heard of us. When I tell people that I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers, or muffins, or mittens, or... And frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.

Dwight K. Schrute: I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then my life was so great that I literally wanted a second one. In my second life, I was also a paper salesman, and I was also named Dwight. Absolutely everything was the same, except I could fly.

Angela: I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.

Jim: Hey.
Pam: Eh, no talk. I'm animating.
Jim: Why don't we take a quick ten second break from that so I can show you what's going on here. Okay, this is Dwight's second life. He's on it all the time. So much so that his little guy here has created his own world. It's called Second Second Life, for those people who want to be removed even further from reality.

Michael Scott: All right, let me ask you this. Tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this is before I had even heard of one or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows and had a huge spike in its head. I was five. Five years old. Couldn't even talk yet.

Meredith: I'm excited about doing the ad, but I'm not really used to doing videos with so many people around.

Oscar: When I was younger, I always wanted to be an actor in commercials, then I realized I had a brain.

Jim: Hey, everybody. Just want to welcome you all to the premiere of the real Dunder Mifflin commercial. The Michael Scott director's cut. Hope you like it.
Michael Scott: [on tape] It all starts with an idea. But you can never tell where an idea will end up. Because ideas spread. They change, grow. They connect us with the world. And in a fast moving world, where good news moves at the speed of time and bad news isn't always what it seems. Because when push comes to shove, we all deserve a second chance to score. Dunder Mifflin. Limitless paper in a paperless world.

Darryl: [playing keyboard and singing] Out of paper Out of stock There's friendly faces around the block Break loose from the chains that are causing your pain [Creed, Andy, Kevin and Kelly join in] Call Michael or Stanley Jim, Dwight, or Creed. Call Andy and Kelly for your business paper needs Dunder Mifflin the people person's paper people Dunder Mifflin the people person's paper people

Jim: You playing that game again?
Dwight K. Schrute: Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user virtual environment. It doesn't have points or scores. It doesn't have winners or losers.
Jim: Oh, it has losers.