Michael Scott: Yeah, I'm trying to lure these kids into my booth. But kids are very wary of being lured these days. Thank you, Dateline.

Jim: Today I am meeting a potential client on the golf course because Ryan put me on probation. You remember Ryan. He was the temp here. Yeah. And- It is not a good time for me to lose my job since I have some pretty big long-term plans in my personal life with Pam that I'd like her parents to be psyched about. So I am about to do something very bold at this job that I've never done before: Try.

Dwight K. Schrute: Excuse me, people. It has come to my attention that some of you have forgotten who is in charge here. When Michael is gone, Jim is in charge. When Jim is gone, Andy and I are in charge. When Andy is gone, you answer to me. Okay? [to Stanley] Excuse me, where do you think you're going? Oh, no, no. You're not leaving. No! Stanley. Do not walk out that door! If you walk out that door, so help me, I will- He left. Last time I checked, the American workday ends at 5:00 P.M. You will all stay at your desks until that time or you will suffer the consequences.
Phyllis: What consequences?
Dwight K. Schrute: I will tell on you.

Michael Scott: All of these jobs suck. I would rather live jobless on a beach somewhere off the money from a large inheritance than to have to work in any one of these crap-holes. They suck.

Michael Scott: Today I did something stupid. I questioned myself, and I'll never do that again. 'Cause I look at somebody like Jim Halpert, and I think that guy can do anything he wants to do. He could do anything, and he chooses to work here selling paper. Just like me.

Michael Scott: Excuse me. If you can hear me, I would like you to look around at all these companies and know that none of them are good enough for you. H&R Block? Come on! I mean, I don't even know what they do. "Frank Regan Funeral Home"? Too much formaldehyde. The Air Force? Air Force is cool. The refreshments? Bush league, you know? That's not what you want. Dunder? That- Okay. I see security is coming, so I just wanted to say come to Dunder Mifflin. Dunder Mifflin, a great place to work. Anybody? Show of hands? Anybody wanna intern at Dunder Mifflin? We do not offer college credit, we cannot give you any sort of pay, but it is a really fun work environment. Anybody? Show of hands? Damn it. Okay. I'm gonna wrap it up here. Thank you for your time, and drive safe.

Michael Scott: Okay, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to instruct the kids about management and sales. Oscar will be in charge of accounting. Pam will be eye candy. No, and also because that is your alma mater. Darryl will hire some kids for the warehouse. We don't need to worry about internships with them because they definitely ain't goin' to college.
Darryl: What college did you go to, Mike?
Michael Scott: Let's go!

Andy: Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no. My grandfather would be spinning in his urn if he knew that I was out here with a Dartmouth boy. You take that shirt off right now, or I will take it off for you, sir. I am totally and completely kidding! Andy Bernard. Cornell, '95.

Michael Scott: Today I'm headed over to the Job Fair at Valley View High School to find some new interns. Wanna get some fresh blood. Um, youthanize this place.

Kelly: Oh, my god, Darryl. You look like Barack Obama. Everybody, I'm dating Barack Obama.
Michael Scott: Why are you dressed like that?
Darryl: Like what?
Michael Scott: Like you're applying for a loan.
Dwight K. Schrute: Maybe he's going to church. Or court.
Darryl: Figured I'd look presentable. You went a different way.