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Double Date

‘Double Date’

Season 6, Episode 9 - Aired November 5, 2009

There's tension between Pam and Michael after he breaks up with her mother during a double date.

Quote from Andy

Andy: What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost.

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Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Geez. When did everyone get so cynical?

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: As I watched Pam's big, strong hand coming towards my face I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids. And I have a hover-car and a hover-house. And my wife is a runner and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends and our kids play together. And I am happy and I am rich and I never die. It doesn't sound like much, but its enough for me.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Oh, Dwight. I have a little surprise for you.
Dwight K. Schrute: Let me guess. You ate the bagel I gave you and loved it.
Andy: Yes! And I wanted to return the favor. I was polishing my loafers and I happened to look over and noticed that your brief case was a little worse for the wear, so a little elbow grease and she's polished right up, back up to her former glory.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wow.
Andy: Feel it against your cheek.
Dwight K. Schrute: I will.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: You give me a gift, bam! Thank you note. You invite me somewhere, pow! RSVP. You do me a favor, wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Damn it. I am no closer to taking Jim down. What a waste of a day. I could have grown poisoned mushrooms that would have been this high by now. They're mushrooms. They don't get that high.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Am I scared of getting hit in the face? No. Everyday weirdo's pay dominatrix's hundreds of dollars for that very privilege. I'm scared I'm gonna love it.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you and I am not robbing the cradle. If anything I am robbing the grave.

Quote from Creed

Creed: Something's up. That paper was never supposed to arrive.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Helene, I think you're a wonderful person and I- God. I've enjoyed dating you and being your boyfriend so much. But I have to consider Pam's feelings as a friend and a co-worker I can not in good conscience continue to date you, when I know what this is doing to her.
Pam: Michael. Michael, it's okay.
Michael Scott: No, it's not.
Pam: I know that it took me a little while to come around and it's still a little weird to get used to, but... You obviously make my mom very happy. And that makes me happy.
Michael Scott: Wow. That just- You've really grown.
Pam: Well.
Michael Scott: Oh, thank you Pam. And I hope you are as gracious during this next part. Helene, once again you are a wonderful person and you have lived a great life and I envy it. And I want it someday, but just in the future. You need somebody who- Who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never- I don't know him. There's another woman. And her name is Italy, and skydiving, and bungee jumping.
Jim: Okay, so...
Michael Scott: And I want kids. And you, unfortunately, have already completed that part of your journey down there.
Pam: Michael.
Michael Scott: It's not my decision. It's mother nature. And mother has very strict rules about fer- [pauses as a female waitress tops up their water] -tility.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Good morning everybody. Who would like an authentic New York bagel? Hmmm? Stanley?
Stanley: Thank you.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, no, no, no. I got a pumpernickel just for you.
Andy: Wow. H & H. You went all the way to New York City to get us bagels?
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, why? Is there a place closer that sells them?
Phyllis: This is really nice Dwight, thanks.
Andy: Thanks.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, don't mention it. You owe me one. You all owe me one.

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