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‘Training Day’ Quotes

The Office: Training Day

720. Training Day

Aired April 14, 2011

Everybody tries to make a good impression with the new boss, Deangelo Vickers, after Michael meets his replacement.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Deangelo's great. I love the guy. But I'm not sure he's a great fit for the office. And also, I'm not sure if I love the guy.

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Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Deangelo: Can I just say, I am so excited to be working here. Little bit about myself, I love the American Southwest, for starters. You may call them Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah, I call them heaven. I have a peanut allergy. It's something I live with, it's a part of me. I've learned to cope with it. What else? I'm just as comfortable at the ball game as I am at the opera. I was a-
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Did I want to be made manager? Sure. A great opportunity squandered? Absolutely. A crushing blow? Yes. Will I get over it? No. But life goes on. Not for me.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Kahlua Sombrero, please.
Waiter: All right, so just you tonight?
Michael Scott: Actually, I am meeting somebody, but I'm a little bit early. Leaving my company. After 19 years.
Deangelo: I'll drink to that. I'm starting at a company this week.
Michael Scott: Oh, really?
Deangelo: To beginnings and endings.
Michael Scott: And to middles, the unsung heroes. And to moms.
Deangelo: The moms and the troops.
Michael Scott: Mmm. Do not tell my fiance I'm drinking on a Wednesday.
Deangelo: [laughs] I won't... I don't know her.
Michael Scott: I'm moving out to the burbs. Actually, I'm moving further than the burbs, I'm moving to Colorado.
Deangelo: Colorado! The sunshine state.
Michael Scott: Yep. Don't mess with Colorado.

Quote from Michael Scott

Deangelo: Doing some skiing?
Michael Scott: No, no. I don't want to end up like Sonny Bobo.
Deangelo: Well, that's just good sense right there. Everyone I know who skis is dead.
Michael Scott: You know, I would like to try the luge, through.
Deangelo: Try it once, you're hooked. That's my guess.
Michael Scott: That's what I've heard.
Deangelo: I'm an Olympics nut.
Michael Scott: Oh, yeah? Me too. Summer or winter?
Deangelo & Michael: [in unison] Summer!

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: Michael is leaving. And apparently they already hired a new manager. And we're meeting him today. It's a lot to process. Paperwork wise.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: So we talk for, like, 20 minutes, no clue it's Deangelo the whole time!
Darryl: Kind of embarrassing.
Michael Scott: No. No.
Angela: Yeah, that story makes you sound stupid.
Michael Scott: I happen to like the hilarious hi-jinx that I get myself into.

Quote from Pam

Michael Scott: This is Jim and Pam, aka Jap. What started as an affair has blossomed into a family before our eyes.
Pam: Well, it wasn't an affair.
Michael Scott: Yes, it was.
Pam: But, no, but we are a family.
Jim: [points to picture of Cecelia] We made that.
Pam: Cecelia.
Deangelo: Oh, congratulations. I have four kids of my own.
Pam: Really? Oh, my gosh! We just have the one, but she poops for four. [laughs]
[aside to camera:]
Pam: Uh oh. Someone started off on a good foot with the new boss!
Jim: Yeah, they don't ever talk about careers that were made because of unplanned pregnancies.

Quote from Stanley

Meredith: That apple looks delish!
Deangelo: I do a lot of portion control. I try to keep my daily caloric intake under 1200. [laughter]
Stanley: Deangelo, you're going to starve to death. [laughter]

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: Hey, Deangelo, what do you think of bald people? I hate them.

Quote from Erin

Erin: Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin. Okay, let me transfer you.
Deangelo: Why do you use your name when you use the phone?
Erin: Oh, that's how Pam does it. I just copy her. She's sort of a living legend.
Deangelo: Try it without using your name.
Erin: "Dunder Mifflin, this is..." [confused] Oh, yeah, I like it.
Deangelo: "Dunder Mifflin, how may I assist you?"
Erin: Oh, assist.

Quote from Michael Scott

Phyllis: Mmm, what you got?
Michael Scott: PB&J, my mom's recipe! [throws sandwich to Phyllis]
Angela: Michael, Deangelo has a peanut allergy!
Deangelo: I need a wide berth. I need a wide berth from those nuts.
Stanley: What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?
Michael Scott: I think Kevin wants one. Kevin, here you go!
Oscar: Michael, this is serious! Do you know what happens if Deangelo touches a peanut?
Michael Scott: What?
Deangelo: Michael, the last time I was exposed to a peanut, I was itching for three days, okay? I had to take baths constantly. I missed the O.J. verdict. I had to read about it in the paper like an idiot.
Jim: Wait, so, you don't go into shock or die or anything?
Deangelo: No, Jim, not everything is life or death. I want to feel comfortable.
Michael Scott: Oscar, here you go. [throws sandwich]
Deangelo: [uses clipboard to bat away sandwich] You're getting nut particles all in the air!
Michael Scott: No one had a problem with the air here until you came around.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Hey, Deangelo. Wanna meet Cece?
Deangelo: That's a cute baby. Very cute baby. Adorable. Very cute.
Jim: Thank you very much.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: See, we knew it! If he just met her, he'd understand.
Jim: We're back in! Right?
[also to camera:]
Deangelo: I'm telling you, that baby could be the star of a show entitled "Babies I Don't Care About."


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