Pete Quotes Page 1 of 2

Quote from The Target

Pete: One of my jobs is to input customer complaints into the computer. And when they're in, I fill out one of these cards. But the information's already on the computer, so why am I filling out the card? I asked Andy, and he told me to "chillax," and then went away on a big, long boat ride. So here we are. Don't give me a pointless office chore, because I will build a little paper house. Fight the power.

Quote from The Target

Pete: Hey, hey, hey, it's just a mistake. Just a mistake. That's what this tower's all about, mistakes. Okay, if you're afraid of screwing up, the tower's not for you. Show of hands. Who here has never had a complaint? That's right. Nobody. See that? Nobody. Okay? Let's get back to work, huh? Come on, you in?
Kevin: Yeah.
Pete: There we go. All right, let's do it.

Quote from Couples Discount

Pete: Erin says she's gonna break up with Andy, but I'm not sure. He's coming back tomorrow and surprise, today, she wants to do whatever I'd like. You know, when I was a kid, we had a dog who go real sick and we had to "send him to a farm". And on his last day, we did everything he loved.
[cut to:]
Erin: Wanna play catch in the parking lot?
Pete: Sure.

Quote from Dwight Christmas

Pete: I'm just hoping German terrorists don't take over this Christmas party. Make me go all John McClane on their asses.
Erin: Wait, German terrorists? That's oddly specific. And I think- I think you mean John McCain.
Pete: "Die Hard" reference.
Erin: I haven't seen it.
Pete: You haven't seen "Die Hard"?

Quote from Roy's Wedding

Pete: No, Clark's not my friend. He is the douche that sits next to me at the office. My friends are Scott, Glenn, and Rob. But, you don't know them.

Quote from Moving On

Andy: Darryl, Clark, Toby, Kevin, Plop, take a knee. Alright, you guys are gonna think I'm psycho again. Uh, couldn't shake this feeling that Erin's dating someone so I looked at her phone.
Darryl: Man, you can't do that stuff. You'll only find pain. When my ex-wife got into my e-mail account, she was devastated.
Andy: Too late. I found out she's been texting a guy named Pete. Does anybody know a Pete?
Kevin: Pete...
Clark: Hmm.
Kevin: Pete what?
[aside to camera:]
Pete: It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me Plop for so long, he forgot my real name. Which is Pete.

Quote from New Guys

Jim: You a sports fan?
Pete: Sure, boxing, tennis.
Jim: Oh. Any team sports?
Pete: NASCAR. The Amazing Race.
Jim: Phillies fan, though, right?
Pete: You mean horses?
Jim: No, like baseball. A baseball team.
Pete: Ah, I like the Red Sox. I'm from Vermont.
Jim: Okay. Good talk.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: I have nothing in common with Plop.

Quote from New Guys

Angela: Why do you want this cat?
Pete: I don't want it, really.
Angela: How would you support the cat? What are your ambitions?
Pete: I want to start my own business. I want to be a millionaire. Lots of things. Travel, make the world a better place, earn an MBA at night.
Angela: Have you taken any concrete steps?
Pete: Well, I'm still just fitting in here, you know? Getting used to the new job. But, definitely on the agenda. But that is a good idea, Angela. I should make a list.

Quote from Roy's Wedding

Clark: [on the phone] Duncan, listen, I would love to help you out but where am I gonna find somebody that's pretty, smart and well-informed? Huh? Hold on, hold on. [covers phone's receiver] Erin, do you know anybody that might want... [has realization] Oh my gosh. You love the news, right?
Erin: Well, it depends. I mean, sometimes I find out things that are really sad.
Clark: Well, I got a buddy that's a big time local news producer and I can't tell you his name, but it'd blow your mind.
Pete: Uh, is it Duncan?

Quote from Roy's Wedding

Pete: Hey, um, I knew something bothered me and I finally figured it out. What news producers are gonna want to see is how Erin relates to the other people on the news team.
Erin: Oh.
Pete: The weird thing is Erin is doing the audition alone.
Erin: Oh God.
Pete: Now, I'd say Clark could be your co-host... he's already doing camera. Someone who's already got rapport with Erin, maybe. I don't know. [Andy smiles to camera]

Quote from Roy's Wedding

Clark: What're you doing here?
Pete: Sorry, man. Andy thought Erin needed a co-anchor. I'm his makeup guy. My hands are tied.

Quote from A.A.R.M.

Jim: Members of the office, hear ye.
Dwight K. Schrute: That means ye, Plop!
Pete: Plop? Still?
Dwight K. Schrute: We owe Andy that much. Am I right people?
Pete: Fine.

Quote from Moving On

Alice: Pete?
Pete: Alice. Oh man.
Alice: It's, uh, been a while, huh?
Erin: What, do you two know each other?
Pete: Yeah. We uh, have a history.
Erin: Oh.
Alice: History. Wow, okay. We dated for two years.
Erin: That's so random.
Pete: Well. Is it?
Erin: Andy also hired a management consultant today. Oh no!

Quote from Moving On

Andy: And Alice, uh, I understand you once dumped Pete, ouch.
Pete: Dude, it was an amicable break up Andy.
Alice: Okay, while we're rewriting history, you never had a drinking problem.
Pete: It was college. That is what you do.
Alice: I think you're also supposed to go to classes, so there's that.

Quote from Moving On

Alice: He is not a very sophisticated man, I mean he can't even use chopsticks, so. Do I need to say anything else?
Gabe: Erin, I've been to Japan. I know how to use chopsticks so well. Come back. One night.
Erin: Gabe, I don't-
Gabe: Give me one night with you...
Erin: What is that supposed to mean?
Gabe: I have shaved everything...
Erin: I don't want you to shave everything.
Alice: I wasted two years of my life on you, you realize that right?!
Pete: I just want to be real clear that chopsticks is not the measure of a man.