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‘The Carpet’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

The Office: The Carpet

214. The Carpet

Aired January 26, 2006

Michael is upset when a package is left on the floor of his office.

Quote from Pam

Pam: Roy and I just got back from the Poconos. I get 10 vacation days a year and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. And this year I got to the third week in January.


Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Last week I would have given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh... No. I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Why would somebody ruin a perfectly good carpet? I don't know. It could be done out of hate. It could be done out of love. It could be completely neutral. Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady. And, well, she doesn't do a very good job, obviously, because my office still reeks like you would not believe. I hate her.

Quote from Ryan

Ryan: Jim's been looking at me, kind of, a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: It's still stinky.
Michael Scott: That is worse.
Dwight K. Schrute: She probably scrubbed it into the fibers of the carpet. Total permeation.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I am a big Fear Factor fan. I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually. So this is sort of like my audition tape. [clearing throat] I can't stand it. I can't stay in here another second. No!

Quote from Kelly

Jim: Hey, Kelly.
Kelly: Are you moving back here?
Jim: Just for the day, while Michael's at my desk.
Kelly: Because Toby used to sit there, but then he had to move over there because of an allergy.
Jim: Allergy to the desk?
Kelly: Weird.

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: What happened in Michael's office was wrong. I understand it. It makes sense. [laughing] But it was still wrong.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: You know what? I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism against the office. The only thing that makes any sense.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Hello, am I the 107th caller? [hangs up, picks up again] Hello, Rock 107, am I the 107th caller? [again] Hello, Rock 107, am I the 107th caller? [to Michael] I'm totally gonna win us that box set.
Michael Scott: Stop.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jethro Tull.
Michael Scott: Stop it. Stop it. Don't. Don't.
Dwight K. Schrute: I need to make a sales call. Please?
Michael Scott: All right.
Dwight K. Schrute: [on the phone] Am I the 107th caller?

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