Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The Surplus’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Office: The Surplus

510. The Surplus

Aired December 4, 2008

Michael doesn't want to disappoint anyone when the Scranton branch has a budget surplus which needs to be spent immediately.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: What did we learn this week? Well, one, thanks to me, my team is much, much faster at coming to decisions than I thought they would be. Number two, never buy a fur coat with a credit card until you absolutely have the money to pay for it. And three, you should know that some people think it's cool to throw buckets of fake blood on you as you are walking out of Burlington Coat Factory.

Rate

Quote from Andy

Andy: We're getting married at Schrute farms, no matter what. I have looked at 12 venues. I have lost 8 deposits. And I have seen Angela naked zero times. I am not losing another deposit.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Andy: Dwight, I'm a little concerned about some of these directions to Schrute farms.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, do tell.
Andy: I mean, like, "156 paces from the light red mailbox, make a left."
Dwight K. Schrute: Uh-huh.
Andy: "Walk until you hear the bee hive."
Dwight K. Schrute: How could it be more clear?
Angela: I think Andy makes an excellent point. But my biggest concern is that there's only one bathroom.
Dwight K. Schrute: We'll dig a trench. As long as it's downhill from the well, we should be fine.
Angela: Nana Mimi cannot squat over some trench.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, we're gonna put out stumps. Come on.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: This is where you'll have your receiving line. Of course we'll clear out all the livestock and hay and such.
Andy: Mmm. Mmm. What's that smell?
Dwight K. Schrute: You're gonna need to be more specific.
Angela: Manure. Get rid of it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Manure covers up the smell of the slaughterhouse.
Angela: Do you have to slaughter on our wedding day?
Dwight K. Schrute: You want to eat, don't you?

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Have you made a decision on the butter sculpture?
Angela: No, I haven't thought of it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. Cow, goat or sheep. It's not that hard.
Angela: I would like a cat.
Dwight K. Schrute: Cats don't make butter.
Angela: I would like a cow butter sculpture of a cat.
Dwight K. Schrute: It doesn't make any sense. I'm telling you.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I hate disappointing just one person. And I really hate disappointing everyone. But I love Burlington Coat Factory. You go in there with $645, you are literally a king.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five?
Oscar: Your mommy and daddy give you $10 to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only cost you $9.
Michael Scott: Oh!
Oscar: So you have an extra dollar.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Oscar: So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what?
Michael Scott: Next summer I'll be six.
Oscar: And you ask them for money, they're gonna give you $9, 'cause that's what they think it costs to run the stand. So what you want to do is spend that dollar on something now, so that your parents think that it costs $10 to run the stand.
Michael Scott: So the dollar's a surplus. This is a surplus.
Oscar: We have to spend that $4,300 by the end of the day or it'll be deducted from next year's budget.
Michael Scott: [whistling]
Oscar: We should spend this money on a new copier which we desperately need.
Michael Scott: Okay, break it down in terms of- Okay, I think I'm getting you.

Quote from Michael Scott

Oscar: Here are our final actual costs for this year.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Oscar: As you can see, we did pretty well.
Michael Scott: Yes, I can see that we did indeed. Why don't you explain this to me like I am an 8-year-old?
Oscar: All right. Well, this is the overall budget for this fiscal year along the x-axis.
Michael Scott: Yes.
Oscar: Right there.
Michael Scott: Yes, there's the "x-axix."
Oscar: You can see clearly on this page that we have a surplus of $4,300.
Michael Scott: Uh-huh. Okay.
Oscar: We have to spend that by the end of the day or it will be deducted from next year's budget.

Quote from Toby

Toby: We should really have the office's air quality tested. We have radon coming from below. We have asbestos in the ceilings. These are silent killers.
Michael Scott: You are the silent killer. Go back to the annex.
Toby: You'll see.

Quote from Michael Scott

Oscar: So Michael, what do you think?
Michael Scott: Why me?
Jim: You have to make the decision.
Michael Scott: Wow. Okay. Well, I swallowed all your ideas. I'm going to digest them and see what comes out the other end.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode