Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Branch Closing’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Office: Branch Closing

307. Branch Closing

Aired November 9, 2006

After Jan announces that the Scranton branch is closing, Michael and Dwight go on a mission to save the office. Meanwhile, the Scranton employees ponder whether their jobs are safe.

Quote from Jim

Jim: I worked in Scranton for a really long time. And uh, it's going to be weird that it's all disappearing. I mean, I always knew that the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be because Michael sold the building for some magic beans.

Rate

Quote from Jim

Jim: I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch. But before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery. So from time to time, I send Dwight faxes from himself from the future. "Dwight, at 8:00 a.m. today someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight."
[At the Scranton Branch, Dwight runs across the room and knocks a coffee cup out of Stanley's hand]
Dwight K. Schrute: No! You'll thank me later.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: It is an outrage. That's all. It's- They are making a huge, huge mistake. Let's see Josh replace these people. Let's see Josh find another Stanley. Do you think Stanleys grow on trees? Well, they don't. There is no Stanley tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm. With Phyllises and Kevins sprouting up all over the place ripe for the plucking. Show me that farm.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Okay! This is it! This is exactly what Michael Moore does. Famous documentarian. He goes up to people with a camera and he's like, "Why did you do this? Why did you pollute? You are bad, you're a bad person." It's very dramatic. Although, I can't say I was a big fan of Bowling for Columbine. Because I thought it was gonna be a bowling movie, like Kingpin. ... And it wasn't. It was something else.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: If I get to stay and Ryan is laid off, I will kill myself. Like Romeo + Juliet. The Claire Danes one.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael's book is "Something Weird is Going On: What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story". By Michael Scott with Dwight Schrute.

Quote from Angela

Angela: I don't want to blame anyone in particular. I think everyone's to blame.

Quote from Pam

Pam: It's a blessing in disguise. Actually, not even in disguise. Sometimes at home, I answer the phone, "Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam." So, maybe that'll stop now.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: There she is. Jan Levinson first thing in the morning.
Jan: Michael.
Michael Scott: Love to start my day with a hearty bowl of Jan!
Jan: Michael.
Michael Scott: [singing] Just call me Levinson in the morning, baby-
Jan: Michael.

Quote from Ryan

Ryan: It makes perfect sense that it would happen today. Because I just received this in the mail. A thousand business cards with this address and phone number.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode