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‘The Sting’ Quotes

The Office: The Sting

705. The Sting

Aired October 21, 2010

When Dunder Mifflin loses a sale to a handsome competitor, Michael sets up a sting operation to learn the guy's technique. Meanwhile, Andy forms a band with Darryl and Kevin.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: You know what this is? This is a stinger.
Jim: A what?
Michael Scott: Like the movie.
Jim: I think you mean The Sting.
Michael Scott: Paul Newman, Robert Redford. They're bank robbers.
Jim: Nope. Different movie.
Dwight K. Schrute: The Sting. The Sting.

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Quote from Kevin

Kevin: [singing and playing drums] Sun's in her eyes, tongue full of flies. Would you like to share my paaaaaaad?
All: Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love. Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love and I gave her the croak that meant I love you.
Darryl: I'll be your croak monsieur.
Andy: [falsetto] I'll be your croak madame.
Kevin: Your mama mighta said that bullfrogs are dogs, but I'm here to tell you that I am a frog! Come and sit on my log, you little pollywog.
Darryl: I find you absolutely ribbiting!
All: Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love.
Andy: Croak, croak, croak. Bullfrog in love.
Kevin: Croak!
Andy: Ribbit!
Darryl: Scoopity-splash!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: How do I feel about losing the sale? It's like if Michael Phelps came out of retirement, jumped in the pool, belly-flopped, and drowned.

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: I love cycling. Andy, I feel like a tourist in my own city. I literally can't wait to wake up every morning.
Pam: Okay.
Michael Scott: She is a beaut!
Dwight K. Schrute: Can't beat a horse. A horse is a bike that peddles itself.
Oscar: Yes, it is.
Michael Scott: Oh, look at that. [pushing bike] Smooth roll.
Oscar: Yeah.
Kevin: You got it! Lance Armstrong's Bike!
Oscar: Yes.
Meredith: His ass was on that seat? All right!
Kevin: Nice.
Oscar: No, Meredith, that's not his actual bicycle, but it is the same exact model he uses.
Kelly: I'm on Sheryl Crow's side in that whole thing, so I feel really weird right now.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Yes, I can ride a bike. I take spinning classes three times a month. I think I know how to ride a bike.
[back:]
Jim: Are you sure you once knew how to do this?
Michael Scott: I did, yes! I had those extra wheels on the back...that support you. [Pam and Jim begin wheeling him] Mi-chael! Mi-chael!
All: [chanting] Michael! Michael! Michael! Michael!
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah!
Pam: Come on, Michael! Yeah!
Jim: Just steer more now.
Michael Scott: Oh, my god!
Pam: Not the car!
Jim: No! No!
Michael Scott: Ow! You never forget. Whoo!

Quote from Andy

Andy: Whoa. Libby Dirketts got married. Big, red mazel tov to the Libster. Ooh, says here Dan Becker fell off the side of Kilimanjaro in a climbing accident. It appears Dan's sherpa survived to tell the tale- Oh, my God!
Phyllis: What? Is Dan okay?
Andy: No, he died. It's Broccoli Rob. You know this guy; I showed you his picture on Facebook.
Phyllis: Yes.
Andy: "Some Vermont-based alums can hear 'Broccoli' Rob Blatt, '96, in the state milk lobby's new milk awareness song, 'Calci-YUM!', featuring Phish's Trey Anastasio. Says Broccoli, 'Trey and I had a ton of fun in the studio, and I think you can hear it in the song.'"
Phyllis: Oh, that's great news for your friend.
Andy: Yeah, yeah, it's great...
Phyllis: You know, I forget about milk. This is a terrific reminder.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: I was the artsy, musical one. In Here Comes Treble I had four solos, Broccoli rob had three. Right? Uh!

Quote from Darryl

Andy: Knockity-knock, don't knock back. Just kidding you can knock; it's your office. Do you have a minute?
Darryl: I'm very busy with time-sensitive work.
Andy: Not to go all Sherlock Holmes on you, but I can tell by the reflection in your glasses that you're entering points into WeightWatchers.com.
Darryl: If you don't enter them immediately, you forget. What?
Andy: I'm starting a band and I need you on keyboards.
Darryl: Nah. I play for pleasure.
Andy: This is for pleasure.
Darryl: I wouldn't enjoy that.
Andy: I'm willing to pay you.
Darryl: Oh, yeah?
Andy: Yeah.
Darryl: How much?
Andy: Sixty bucks a session.
Darryl: That's crazy money. I'll take forty.
Andy: Yes!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I could swear that guy was a male model.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: You know who we always lose out to? Staples, the big guys. Osprey? They're a small company. They're smaller than we are. What's our excuse? How do we combat this guy? Stanley, how do we combat him?
Stanley: We sell better?
Michael Scott: Okay. You know what? You clearly don't care, so why don't you just leave?
Stanley: I would like to stay. This pertains to me.
Michael Scott: Why don't you go outside and take a shot of insulin and have a nap, okay?
Stanley: Why do you always assume I have diabetes?
Michael Scott: I don't know, your frame, your build. Why don't you have a glass of apple juice and tell me you're not a diabetic. [Stanley stands to leave] See? I could tell by the sound you made when you stood up that you have-okay.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Meredith was the perfect choice to play the head of the company. Her lunch break lined up with our appointment with Danny and... That's it. That's really all we were looking for.

Quote from Jim

Meredith: Meredith Van Helsing. Pleased to meet you.
Jim: [watching on screen] Meredith Van Helsing?
Dwight K. Schrute: Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer.
Jim: Okay. But what is he more famous for?
Michael Scott: Shhh!

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: I could sing it.
Andy: I just was hoping to maybe save your voice in case we did a novelty song about frogs.
Kevin: But my voice is unique. Like Bob Dylan.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: People can't keep their true natures hidden for long, and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.
Michael Scott: Testify.
Jim: Okay, he's not that good-looking. I don't understand why everybody's obsessed with this-
Michael Scott: Yeah, he is that good-looking.
Dwight K. Schrute: He's very, very handsome.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Okay. Honest feedback time. Oscar?
Oscar: It's pandering. And it makes me think you think I'm stupid.
Andy: But do you think it could be famous? Like in a car commercial or something?
Pam: Not really. It's kinda weird that a grown man is singing from the point of view of a little girl.
Andy: I feel like I can see someone ice skating to it. You know, like in the Olympics.
Ryan: I- I don't think they usually skate to such bad songs.
Andy: Rude. And not helpful.
Creed: Well, I really, really, really liked it.
Andy: Well, that- That really bums me out.
Creed: You're welcome.

Quote from Meredith

Oscar: Meredith, I-
Meredith: Oh, Manuel! This is Manuel, my cleaning man. He doesn't speak any English.
Danny: Hola. Que tal?
Oscar: Como estas, senor?
Meredith: Uh, Manuel, cleano el window.

Quote from Meredith

Meredith: [to Ryan] This is Esteban, another cleaning man. He doesn't speak English either. Esteban, el flooro.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I said stop. Okay, Danny, this is not Pennsylvania Solartech. This is Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company. This is Meredith Palmer-
Meredith: Please to meet you-
Michael Scott: Don't! Get away from him. Please, just leave. Get out of here. Go. Forever.
Danny: Hmm.
Michael Scott: I owe you a most sincere and humble apology. We were trying to watch you to see your sales technique, so we could stop losing so many clients to you.
Danny: But from where?
Michael Scott: A surveillance room next to this one.
Danny: Okay, so you set up this fake company, then you hired this homeless woman to impersonate an executive to spy on me so that you could copy my sales technique?
Michael Scott: Yes. And it's the sincerest form of flattery.
Danny: Or ... crazy.

Quote from Kelly

Michael Scott: Everyone, may I have your attention? I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny Cordray. He is going to be joining us as our new traveling salesman. Say hello to Danny!
Kelly: [bleep] me!
Michael Scott: Okay. You know what? No. No. This is not some sort of construction site...or all of Italy, where you can just go around treating people like meat. We are to respect him. I respect him because he reminds me of somebody. Can anybody guess who that is?
Kelly: Josh Duhamel.

Quote from Andy

Darryl: Song's about truth.
Kevin: Yeah.
Darryl: What's something you really care about?
Andy: Reverse snobbery.
Darryl: More universal.
Andy: Sometimes I feel like life has passed me by.


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