Erin: Disposable cameras are fun. Although it does seem wasteful and you don't ever get to see your pictures. If it's an important even that you want to remember, I recommend using a real camera. But I don't care if I forget today.

Ryan: Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. Therapists are whores. Psychiatry is a narcissism machine. I learn more from Dr. Seuss than from Dr. Freud. Earth: you don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps. I don't know. Just use the best one.

Sales guy: Who can I speak to in this office about saving on window treatments?
Erin: I don't know.
Sales guy: Is one of you the office administrator?
Pam: [hesitates] I am. I am the office administrator!
Sales guy: Can I show you a few samples?
Pam: Oh, we're not interested. We're not interested at all.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: There are a few ways to get promoted. One is to wait for an opening and apply for it. That's the main way. But this could work.

Toby: What's something that you-
Michael Scott: This is the worst! You are the worst! I hate looking at your face! I wanna smash it!
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? I made a mistake. I committed corporate punishment. My bad. It's over. It's done. But my punishment is, um, worse than hell.

Gabe: The problem, unfortunately, is about the office administrator. I have gone through everything for the past three years. There is nothing that says you're office administrator.
Pam: So weird that there is no paperwork.
Gabe: At all.
Pam: Although, like, unlikely things happen all the time. My best friend, in High School, she went to Australia, Canberra I think, and she met this guy who lived only two streets away in America.
Gabe: Pam, I don't want to accuse you of anything. I just want everything to be back the way it's supposed to be. Can you just admit- Admit...
Pam: Admit what?
Gabe: I don't want to say it.
Pam: Say it.
Gabe: Nuh-uh.
Pam: Say that I'm lying or say that I have the job. Make a definitive statement, Gabe.
Gabe: Statements of such nature, while they have their place, are overused in a competitive business environment.
Pam: Great. Well, Let me know if you need a new chair, or anything that an Office Administrator can handle.
Gabe: Will do. Can I get ... one of those name plates that says Gabe Lewis?
Pam: Sure. Anything else?
Gabe: Nope.
Pam: I'll get it right away.

Dwight K. Schrute: Wow. Late every day this week.
Pam: We signed Cici up for this daycare. It's on the other side of town. The traffic is-
Dwight K. Schrute: Why didn't I think of this before? Did you know that there is a daycare center opening right here in this building?
Jim: Is there really?
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Now that I own the building, I'm looking for new sources of revenue. And a daycare center... [laughing maniacally] Well, I guess it's not an evil idea. It's just a regular idea. But there is no good laugh for a regular idea.

Dwight K. Schrute: Welcome to the Sesame Avenue Daycare Center for infants and toddlers.
Jim: Aaah!
Mose: Aaah!
Dwight K. Schrute: You remember my cousin Mose.
Mose: Welcome children.
Pam: Were you painting in the dark?

Jim: Wait. Is this your place Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh no. I like to think of it as a kids place. Would you like a tour?
Pam: I don't really think we need...
Jim: Oh, let's take the tour Pam.
Pam: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on. Here is the language skills and cognitive development area. These are English, uh, letters. I see you found out magical toy box Jim.
Jim: These are actually forks and knives from the break room.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim! To you and me, maybe, but, come on! To a child's imagination that's Mr. Fork and Lieutenant Knife and... Ms. Fork.
Pam: And a soy sauce packet.
Dwight K. Schrute: That shouldn't have been in there. I'm embarrassed.

Dwight K. Schrute: Boycott the Steamtown Mall! Everyone, you heard me! Cancel all of your business with the Steamtown Mall!
Phyllis: The mall itself or the stores in the mall?
Dwight K. Schrute: All of it! The mall, the stores, the kiosks!
Ryan: America is one big mall.
Jim: Did something happen Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, something happened. Oh yeah, something happened, Jim.
Andy: Well, tell us what it is. I mean, it would help us to get some context so we can get on board.
Dwight K. Schrute: You don't want to know.

Pam: The unfair thing about working in sales is that your salary is almost all commission. So, you suck at sales, you make almost no money. I guess that's fair.