Phyllis: If Dwight's not coming back, does that mean we can open his treasure?
Oscar: You guys, we've gone over this, there is no treasure.
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: When the team left for Tallahassee, Dwight told everyone not to touch his treasure. Obviously he wants us to obsess about it. There's nothing in there. Which is obviously what he would want us to think, making it the perfect place to hide a treasure. Oh god, I'm Wallace Shawn in The Princess Bride.

Darryl: Would you like to buy some cookies?
Kevin: Cookies, eh?
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: [rapping] Oh, the springtime thinks that it's the best. And fall time thinks that it's the best. Cold time has, kind of a strut. And Valentine's thinks that it's the best. But gather round, peeps, I'll tell you the truth. Nothing beats the cookie season, that's the truth.

Erin: Can you help me? I'm trying to make a video chat with Andy.
Irene: Just open the program and type in his username.
Erin: Can you just do it?
Irene: [after briefly typing] Here, type in your password.
Erin: 'Erin123'
Irene: That's a terrible password. And you don't "make a video chat", you video chat.
Erin: All right.

Andy: Everyone stop what you're doing, I have terrible news. Dwight is no longer with us.
Angela: What?
Andy: He's gone, damn it! He's been promoted to VP of Sabre Retail and he's staying in Florida forever.
Angela: So, he's alive.
Andy: Yeah. That was him on the phone. He sounds wonderful.
Angela: Well, the way you said it made it sound like he was dead.
Andy: How could I have been more clear? He had a massive stroke... of good fortune and he is now in a better place.

Darryl: All I need is Kevin. Dude buys more cookies than everyone combined and then some. When I first started selling cookies he was a relatively thin man. Not a thin man, mind you. Relatively thin.

Irene: When can I introduce you to my grandson? He's a wonderful swimmer. Shallow end, deep end. He does it all.
Erin: Well, today might be kind of tough, Irene. I have to talk to my old boss, Andy, and tell him I'm staying in Florida.
Irene: Oh, what kind of tea is this?
Erin: Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.

Creed: It's a photo of all of us.
Pam: Aw, that's so sweet!
[A dart fires out of the box and lodges in the ceiling. Elsewhere, to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: A dart? Are you kidding me? Who would put a poison dart- Well, I mean, I don't know that it's poison. I mean, I just have to imagine. God, I'm glad he's OK though. Kinda sounds like he deserved it, opening another man's treasure and all. Wow!

Darryl: Look, I need this. Ok? Your daughter is a pretty little girl. Let her go door-to-door. You think people gonna buy cookies from my [hesitates] chubby daughter?
Phyllis: Oh.
[aside to camera:]
Darryl: Baby, if you're watching this, you're not chubby, you're beautiful. Daddy's just got to sell some cookies. And we're also gonna exercise more. It's gonna be fun.

Jim: This is the last time I'll ever see Dwight. It's a weird feeling. It's, um, what's the word? It's not, it's not bittersweet. It's uh... sweet. Yeah.

Erin: Hey, Lucy, I'm home. Bobaloo.
Irene: Oh, here let me help.
Erin: I got it. It was so busy at the store today. Really good cheese samples. I had, like, a hundred.
[aside to camera:]
Erin: Irene hired me as her live-in helper. We met at the store launch. I told her I was moving here and I needed a place and it just sort of made sense. I basically do everything for her. I run errands. I do chores around the house. I cook and clean. Honestly, I don't know how she survived without me.