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41Quotes from ‘Viewing Party’

The Office: Viewing Party

708. Viewing Party

Aired November 11, 2010

When Erin invites the entire office to a "Glee" viewing party at Gabe's house, Michael is annoyed that everyone thinks of Gabe as his boss, Andy is jealous of Gabe and Erin's relationship, while Pam gets help with Cece from an unexpected source.

Quote from Michael Scott

Gabe: Michael, you are making this harder than it has to be.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Some events are so news worthy, so historic, that you have to stop everything to watch. Balloon Boy, Michael Jackson's funeral. Things that if you didn't see them live, you wouldn't really care that you didn't see them at all.

Quote from Michael Scott

Gabe: So these are your cheeses, your ham, your sausages, your herbs, and your vegetables. Here's what's been done, so start creating. Some times it helps to think of a part of the world, and-
Michael Scott: Okay okay okay.
Michael Scott: Gabe likes to entertain a lot, and he cooks in an oven, and all that jazz. I just have a different lifestyle. They have these bags of vegetables that steam right inside their own bag. So I'll get a glass of sangria, sit down in front of the TV, a bag of vegetables, before you know it I'm ready for bed!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Better men than Gabe have tried to be my boss. David got fired. Charles got fired. Jan went crazy. Ed Truck, who I liked, got decapitated.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Pam: If I could get her sleeping normally I could get my life back.
Dwight K. Schrute: That would be nice wouldn't it?
Pam: I can't even talk about it.
Dwight K. Schrute: You know it's not really necessary for me to sit here holding her all night. Just go into Gabe's refrigerator, get a lump of suet, or any kind of congealed animal fat will do rally, tie a piece of string to it and the other end to her toe, put the suet in her mouth, she'll be happy for hours.
Pam: I kind of doubt Gabe has suet.
Dwight K. Schrute: Really? Oh. Then here we are.

Quote from Erin

Gabe: Okay, while this is interesting we should get back to work. These stand-offs can last a long time. What if it's another Waco.
Erin: It's pronounced wacko.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Where's Michael? Where's Michael? We can't start without Michael! Oh, here he is! Oh. Yay, and let the show begin! [turning up volume]
Gabe: [takes remote] It's a little loud.
Michael Scott: Actually, I think it's not loud enough. May I? Thank you, sir! [turns up volume] There we go. Glee right? Rock and roll! Turn it up to eleven! Spinal Cord!

Quote from Angela

Kevin: They should do that thing where they play the really good music to get him to come out.
Dwight K. Schrute: [sighs] They shouldn't televise any of this, it just encourages copy-cats.
Angela: Just say copies, why do you have to drag cats into this.

Quote from Michael Scott

Erin: Michael!
Michael Scott: Walk with me.
Erin: Gabe and I are having a party, and everyone's invited, and it's at his house apartment and we're gonna watch Glee.
Michael Scott: Glee? What is Glee, some television program? Jim I need that thing stat!
Jim: [confused] Okay?
Erin: Yeah it's a TV show...
Michael Scott: Dwight! Sign please. I don't have time for parties I don't have time for TV shows. Stanley! What time is that thing I have to do?
Stanley: I...
Michael Scott: Cancel it! Are you still here? [to Erin]
Erin: Uhh. It's just that it's our first party together so...
Michael Scott: Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh! Did you hear what I said? I'm a very busy man. I don't have time for your TV show.
Erin: [sad] Okay, sorry.
Michael Scott: I'm joking.
Erin: Wait which one?
Michael Scott: I'm joking. I'm kidding around! I'm not actually angry. [Erin laughs] I'm not busy at all, I'm not doing anything. And I know what Glee is, I'm a total Gleek.
Erin: Good me too!
Michael Scott: You know who my favorite character is? The invalid.

Quote from Erin

Erin: I don't know if Michael likes Gabe that much, but there's this thing on Glee called mash-up, where two things that don't go together, make one great song. Take Gabe, take Michael, you make Gay Mike. Best friends.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: [to Erin] No really? Is there time to change this?! That show! Now first they say that Mr. Schu doesn't know anything about choreography, then like three episodes later he's this fantastic choreographer?! Pick a lane people!
[later, to camera]
Kelly: And what was with Jesse's sudden turn on Rachel, between Dream-On and Funk. Where the heck did that come from?! Honestly that show, it's just. It's irresponsible.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Angela: Are you going?
Dwight K. Schrute: Not because I want to. Of all the feeling to base a show around. Glee? Thirst. Now that's a show I'd watch.
Angela: I would watch that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse.

Quote from Gabe

Gabe: Welcome to my Man Cave! I did my senior year in prog in Japan. Best year of my life.
Jim: You play?
Gabe: Oh! I like to create soundscapes. I imagine one instant of a song, expanded to be the size of the universe.
Jim: I can't even do that.

Quote from Pam

Pam: Cece, is reverse cycling, which means she sleeps all day and is up all night. Which basically means I'm up all day and I'm up all night. And if it doesn't stop soon, I am going to be up all night.

Quote from Phyllis

Phyllis: Who's that?
Kelly: Finn.
Phyllis: Who's that?
Kelly: Rachel.
Phyllis: Which one's Glee?
Kelly: You have to stop.

Quote from Michael Scott

Pam: Michael? Maybe you should try gong in the other room again. You can have my seat. It's closer to the TV. It'll seem louder.
Michael Scott: Pam I have a loaded gun in my desk at work. If I ever start acting like that weenie Gabe I want you to take that gun, and I want you to shoot me like a hundred times in the groin until I'm dead. Okay?
Pam: You have a gun in your desk?
Michael Scott: Somewhere.

Quote from Ryan

Ryan: Hey! Marantz tube stereo from the 1970s. I respect that. I respect that a lot. Oh hoho. The five Chinese virility herbs. No kidding. This is powdered seahorse. They say that fifteen Chinese soldiers fought off the entire army of Gengis Khan just using this stuff. You know what they say...
Andy: No what?
Ryan: What is this, Samurai wood cuts? Yep. Pretty erotic.
Andy: Yeah.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Michael, I find it absolutely disgraceful that no one followed you in here for your walk-out. I took the liberty of making a list of everyone who didn't follow you in here. Jim. Oscar. Creed. Me, at first.
Pam: Maybe I should go.
Dwight K. Schrute: Kelly. Kev- [to Pam] Are you gonna quiet that baby? Or do I have to? In the Schrute family, the youngest child always raises the others. I've been raising children since I was a baby.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: Okay, they did Blinded by the Light and they did it with an actual blind guy. Was it worth it Jim? 'Cause we missed it!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: If you break that girl's heart, I will kill you. It's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart I will literally kill you and your entire family.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: "Gabe, just go and have fun with Erin. But not too much fun! That girl's gonna turn my hair gray."

Quote from Erin

Andy: You're having a party at Gabe's apartment?
Erin: Mmm! I'd love it if you were there.
Andy: You would?
Erin: You and Michael are always the life of the party!
Andy: Try and keep me from coming!
Erin: Why would I keep you from coming?
Andy: Try and hide it, I will track this party down!
Erin: Why would I hide it! [giggling]

Quote from Kevin

Andy: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? Sixty miles to the gallon in the city.
Kevin: No, I bet he's wishing he was strangling someone!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Grandpa, where were you the day the the Scranton Strangler was caught? [old man voice] Well kiddo, I was there. I was there... And I'll tell you what. [shakes jar of gravel from the road] You go sell these and buy yourself a nice spaceship.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Kevin!
Kevin: Hey, you going tonight?
Michael Scott: Yes, I am. Are you?
Kevin: Yeah! You gotta go to the boss's party!
Michael Scott: What? No Gabe is... Gabe is not the boss.
Kevin: Oh, he's not the boss.
Michael Scott: Why did you just say he was the boss?
Kevin: 'Cause, you're the boss!
Michael Scott: Yee. Guys! Do you consider Gabe to be the boss? [Oscar and Darryl have vanished]

Quote from Erin

Erin: It's a make your own pizza night. Isn't Gabe's place so nice?
Michael Scott: Uh huh.
Erin: Look at the size of those wine glasses, Michael.
Michael Scott: Big.
Erin: Those posters used to be real French ads.
Michael Scott: All right.

Quote from Michael Scott

Gabe: You don't really toss the dough.
Michael Scott: Try to destroy the old ways, Gabe. I will not let you.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. Right down the hall is a bed room. All the real Glee fans are gonna go down the hall to the real Glee party in the bedroom. Follow me. Where we can crank it!

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: [pauses show] That one! She's been in a couple episodes of Friday Night...
Kelly: You know what? I'm so confused. Is this a Glee watching party? Or a Glee pausing party? 'Cause we keep stopping it, to get a history lesson from...
Oscar: You know what? I didn't read the rules, I didn't know the rules. There, it's on. I didn't read the rule book.

Quote from Darryl

Darryl: Take a shot.
Andy: Oh, thanks.
Darryl: Wow, so much Asia stuff. I wonder if there's a guy in China right now, looking at a bunch of our stuff.

Quote from Darryl

Andy: Why does Erin like Gabe?
Darryl: Andy look, all I know is that if I was a girl, and I had to choose between the tall dude who loved Asia, and the you looking dude who loves sweaters and wearing sweaters, I'd choose you.
Andy: That's really nice, thank you.
Darryl: And I'd blow your mind.

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: Jim, what are you doing?
Jim: Oh, it's a commercial break so I just wanted to check the scores.
Oscar: Flip it back please.
Jim: Okay...
Kelly: The show's back on, what happened?
Ryan: We were behind.
Oscar: Go to the recorded version.
Kelly: Oh my God, what song was that?
Erin: I wasn't recording it.
Oscar: What?!
Kelly: [texting] What song was it?
Erin: Wait, why do you have to record it?
Oscar: Right now is why Erin! We're living it! Start recording now!

Quote from Andy

Andy: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome, Phyllis Vance! [sniffs her] Isn't that White Diamonds Maya Smith Taylor?
Phyllis: You know your perfumes!
Andy: My nanny used to wear that.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: I just ate powdered seahorse! I have to admit I did not think it was gonna work, but it is totally working! I feel exactly like a seahorse! [Seahorse impression] Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Pam: It's a miracle. She loves him.
Jim: I don't know about, love...
Dwight K. Schrute: She loves me.
Angela: [whispering in Dwight's ear] Outside my car in two minutes.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well something's come up, I have to go.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I have something to do.
Pam: I know what you have to do, please stay with Cece. Dwight? I've always considered for us to be very good friends. Great friends! Remember your concussion?
Dwight K. Schrute: I do. But you married my worst enemy.
Jim: Well, I think enemy's a strong word. 'Cause I think we have a really charming back and forth. And-
Dwight K. Schrute: Enough. I will require beer and pizza to think this over.

Quote from Creed

Andy: Hey, Creed, do you read Chinese?
Creed: Better than English.
Andy: What does this say?
Creed: "Wah doo zheng hua doo peng yo, nee how"

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Insert it in my mouth.
Jim: That's not gonna make your pizza eating experience any better. Trust me.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, try me.
Pam: Jim, just don't think of it as degrading. Think of it as, you happen to be moving the pizza six inches his way and he happens to be biting it.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'd prefer for him to think of it as degrading.
Jim: Okay. [puts pizza into Dwight's mouth]
Dwight K. Schrute: No. Crust first. Okay, now the beer. Beer me, Jim. Ssss. Gentle. Now, I've gotta go meet Angela.
Pam: What? No, wait! You said you were gonna help us!
Dwight K. Schrute: I have a legal obligation to Angela. Okay, she needs to be serviced.
Jim: You need to stop talking.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, come on. Stop the fake prissy act. We're in the real world. Sex contracts exist!

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Pam: I will go talk to Angela.
Dwight K. Schrute: She's in heat. She will eat your face off!

Quote from Phyllis

Phyllis: Erin! Um, so how long have you two been going out now?
Erin: Oh, um, like three months.
Phyllis: And I imagine things are starting to heat up?
Erin: I don't know.
Phyllis: Of course you don't wanna rush things. I mean, the anticipation can be so exquisite. Bob and I took our time. The first time we saw each other naked we didn't even make love, we just stared at each other until we fell asleep. It was magical.
Erin: I have to go, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Magical!

Quote from Andy

Pam: Hey, in there. It's Pam. It's not Dwight! Don't think it's Dwight!
Angela: What are you doing here?
Pam: I know you and Dwight have this weird deal, um, he sent me out here to see if you could postpone.
Angela: Are you authorized to do this?
Pam: Yes! I have been so authorized.
Angela: Okay. Well, um, then tell him that we'll do this tomorrow night instead.
Pam: Okay.
Angela: Wait, Pam. Pam. How did he seem? Like, you know, did he seem disappointed?
Pam: You know, there are a lot of guys out there who would just love and appreciate a-
Angela: You know what Pam just save it.

Quote from Michael Scott

Erin: You did this?
Michael Scott: No, I was just check- Yes. Yes, I did. Yeah, yeah.
Erin: Why don't you like him?
Michael Scott: What is there to like? He's just- He's a weird, little skeevy guy with no waist. Why do you care whether we like him or not?
Erin: I care if you like him.
Michael Scott: Why? I'm not your father. [Erin looks sad] ... All right.
Erin: Okay.
Michael Scott: Go to your room.
Erin: What? [confused]
Michael Scott: Go to your room young lady!
Erin: Um, I'm not going to my room.
Michael Scott: You listen to me. You listen good. You are are not, to see that boy, anymore.
Erin: You listen to me. You are not to tell me what to do.
Michael Scott: As long as you are living under this roof you are going to do what I say.
Erin: I hate your roof!
Michael Scott: Oh, do not raise your voice to me!
Erin: I'll raise it how I want! I'll raise the roof!
Michael Scott: Gah, I will pull this car over!
Erin: I hate it! I hate your car!

Quote from Gabe

Gabe: What happened?
Andy: I accidentally ate some seahorses.
Gabe: How much?
Andy: I didn't know it's powdered, so like four or five, I don't know.
Gabe: I've got just the thing! [leaves, returns back with his synthesizer] This one's called Earth Rise on the Moon.
Andy: That's so beautiful.


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