Gabe: Michael, you are making this harder than it has to be.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.

Jim: Some events are so news worthy, so historic, that you have to stop everything to watch. Balloon Boy, Michael Jackson's funeral. Things that if you didn't see them live, you wouldn't really care that you didn't see them at all.

Gabe: So these are your cheeses, your ham, your sausages, your herbs, and your vegetables. Here's what's been done, so start creating. Some times it helps to think of a part of the world, and-
Michael Scott: Okay, okay, okay.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Gabe likes to entertain a lot, and he cooks in an oven, and all that jazz. I just have a different lifestyle. They have these bags of vegetables that steam right inside their own bag. So I'll get a glass of sangria, sit down in front of the TV, a bag of vegetables, before you know it I'm ready for bed!

Michael Scott: Better men than Gabe have tried to be my boss. David got fired. Charles got fired. Jan went crazy. Ed Truck, who I liked, got decapitated.

Pam: If I could get her sleeping normally I could get my life back.
Dwight K. Schrute: That would be nice wouldn't it?
Pam: I can't even talk about it.
Dwight K. Schrute: You know it's not really necessary for me to sit here holding her all night. Just go into Gabe's refrigerator, get a lump of suet, or any kind of congealed animal fat will do rally, tie a piece of string to it and the other end to her toe, put the suet in her mouth, she'll be happy for hours.
Pam: I kind of doubt Gabe has suet.
Dwight K. Schrute: Really? Oh. Then here we are.

Gabe: Okay, while this is interesting we should get back to work. These stand-offs can last a long time. What if it's another Waco.
Erin: It's pronounced wacko.

Michael Scott: Where's Michael? Where's Michael? We can't start without Michael! Oh, here he is! Oh. Yay, and let the show begin! [turning up volume]
Gabe: [takes remote] It's a little loud.
Michael Scott: Actually, I think it's not loud enough. May I? Thank you, sir! [turns up volume] There we go. Glee right? Rock and roll! Turn it up to eleven! Spinal Cord!

Phyllis: Who's that?
Kelly: Finn.
Phyllis: Who's that?
Kelly: Rachel.
Phyllis: Which one's Glee?
Kelly: You have to stop.

Kevin: They should do that thing where they play the really good music to get him to come out.
Dwight K. Schrute: [sighs] They shouldn't televise any of this, it just encourages copy-cats.
Angela: Just say copies, why do you have to drag cats into this.

Erin: Michael!
Michael Scott: Walk with me.
Erin: Gabe and I are having a party, and everyone's invited, and it's at his house apartment and we're gonna watch Glee.
Michael Scott: Glee? What is Glee, some television program? Jim I need that thing stat!
Jim: [confused] Okay?
Erin: Yeah it's a TV show...
Michael Scott: Dwight! Sign please. I don't have time for parties I don't have time for TV shows. Stanley! What time is that thing I have to do?
Stanley: I...
Michael Scott: Cancel it! Are you still here? [to Erin]
Erin: Uhh. It's just that it's our first party together so...
Michael Scott: Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh! Did you hear what I said? I'm a very busy man. I don't have time for your TV show.
Erin: [sad] Okay, sorry.
Michael Scott: I'm joking.
Erin: Wait which one?
Michael Scott: I'm joking. I'm kidding around! I'm not actually angry. [Erin laughs] I'm not busy at all, I'm not doing anything. And I know what Glee is, I'm a total Gleek.
Erin: Good me too!
Michael Scott: You know who my favorite character is? The invalid.