Dwight K. Schrute: When I was young, I spent several years at a private school where I was told I would be taught to harness my mutant abilities. Turned out it was a conman copying Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters from the X-Men comic books. Took me years to figure out that it was a con. Some people never figured it out.

Clark: This sucks, you know? You put in 12 grueling weeks at a company, and what do they do? They make you compete for a promotion, like an animal. You know, I thought this was an office, not the Thunderdome.

Dwight K. Schrute: What quality would make you a good sales associate?
Mose: People person.
Dwight K. Schrute: It says here on your resume that you spent the last 15 years as a sales rep for Dow Chemical.
Mose: That's right.
Dwight K. Schrute: You know we live together, right?
Mose: Yes.
Dwight K. Schrute: And I've never seen you go to work, ever.
Mose: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: So why is this on your resume? [Mose gets up and runs out]

Jim: No, it does matter who ends up sitting next to Pam when I'm gone. The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with. I mean, because of where my desk was, I spent all those years looking at Pam, and I fell in love. So, that stuff matters. Definitely does.

Stanley: [observing a roomful of Dwight's friends] This is not natural.

Dwight K. Schrute: What makes you think you'd be an effective paper salesman?
Trevor: Ooh, okay. Didn't see that one coming. Can I take a 20 on that? Maybe we can circle back around to it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, it's a pretty basic question for a potential paper salesman.
Trevor: Pass. Next one.
Dwight K. Schrute: All right. Do you see yourself as more of a team player or a self-starter?
Trevor: No, no and no.
Dwight K. Schrute: There were only two options.
Trevor: Checkmate. You win this one, my friend. Do you validate parking?
Dwight K. Schrute: This is a bus transfer.
Trevor: [chuckles] Nothing gets by this guy.

Meredith: Hey, boom guy.
Brian: Oh, hey Meredith.
Meredith: When are you gonna boom me?
Brian: Uh, listen, they're cracking down on us talking to the subjects. It's a lame rule, but, you know, I wanna... I- I'll see you later.
Meredith: Got it.

Clark: Hey, so I hear you're bringing in some people to interview for the sales job?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's right, a couple of old friends. Ballers only. Must be this cool to ride.
Clark: Well, uh... See, you raised it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, did I? Oh, yes, I did.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Wallace is letting me hire a junior sales associate to sit at Jim's desk while he's away in Philly. Finally I'll have someone at my desk clump who gets me. It's like, "Really, Jim? You don't understand the difference between a slaughterhouse and a rendering plant? Uh, remind me not to lend you any dead cows or horses." Wow.

Clark: You know what, man? I deserve this job.
Dwight K. Schrute: Mm-hmm.
Clark: I scored Stone and Son Suit Warehouse with you, and God knows, to get the Scranton White Pages with Jan, I went above and beyond. And under.

Dwight K. Schrute: You know what? You're gonna get your interview, okay? I know that you're going head-to-head against some real superstars, but you got a really good chance.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Clark has no chance. I mean, he's up against my buddy Rolf, for God's sake. Guy goes fishing with hand grenades. And Trevor, he'll make you laugh so hard, you'll puke your pants.