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‘Women's Appreciation’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

The Office: Women's Appreciation

322. Women's Appreciation

Aired May 3, 2007

After Phyllis is the victim of a flasher in the company car park, Michael decides to host a meeting on women's appreciation. As Dwight searches for the perp, Michael heads to the mall with the women of Dunder Mufflin.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I wish I could menstruate. [aside to camera:] If I could menstruate, I wouldn't have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I'd just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I'd be more in tune with the moon and the tides.

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Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable. There's a wishing fountain at the mall, and I threw a coin in for every woman in the world and made a wish. I wished for Jan to get over me. I wished for Phyllis a plasma TV. I wished for Pam to gain courage. I wished for Angela a heart and for Kelly a brain. Michael, how can you appreciate women so much but also dump one of them? You mean, how can I be so illogical and flighty and unpredictable and emotional? Well, maybe I learned something from women after all.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: Oh, what's this?
Dwight K. Schrute: That is a demerit.
Jim: "Jim Halpert. Tardiness." Oh. I love it, already.
Dwight K. Schrute: You've got to learn, Jim. You are a second in command, but that does not put you above the law.
Jim: Oh, I understand. And I also have lots of questions. Like, what does a demerit mean?
Dwight K. Schrute: Let's put it this way. You do not want to receive three of those.
Jim: Lay it on me.
Dwight K. Schrute: Three demerits, and you'll receive a citation.
Jim: Now, that sounds serious.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, it is serious. Five citations, and you're looking at a violation. Four of those, and you'll receive a verbal warning. Keep it up, and you're looking at a written warning. Two of those, that will land you in a world of hurt, in the form of a disciplinary review, written up by me, and placed on the desk of my immediate superior.
Jim: Which would be me.
Dwight K. Schrute: ... That is correct.
Jim: Okay. I want a copy on my desk by the end of the day or you will receive a full desaggelation.
Dwight K. Schrute: What's a- What's that?
Jim: Oh, you don't want to know.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: The employees of this office are very small and delicate. Deserve protection from local pervs. Better a thousand innocent men are locked up than one guilty man roam free.

Quote from Michael Scott

Karen: Look, it's really simple. We just want you guys to treat us with respect.
Michael Scott: See? That's what we're talking about. Did you hear that, Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. Did you hear that, Michael?
Michael Scott: No, Dwight. Respect. R- E-S-P-C-T. Find out what it means to me.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Let's face it. Most guys are from the Dark Ages. They're cavemen. And they like a woman to be showing her cleavage and to be wearing eight-inch heels. And to be wearing see-through underpants. But for me, a woman looks best when she is just absolutely naked.

Quote from Angela

Angela: Malls are just awful and humiliating. They're just store after store of these horrible sales people making a big fuss out of an adult shopping in a junior section. There are petite adults who are sort of smaller who need to wear, maybe, a kids' size 10.

Quote from Angela

Angela: Okay. I'm gonna be at the doll store. [aside to camera:] Sometimes the clothes at GapKids are just too flashy. So, I am forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: You know what? Why doesn't Oscar run the meeting? He's a homosexual.
Jim: Why don't you run the meeting? You play with dolls.
Dwight K. Schrute: Those are collectible action figures. And they're worth more than your car.

Quote from Creed

Creed: I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times, and I have paid dearly.

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