Angela: I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.

Pam: Okay. All of these things are important to remember, but the most important thing is that no one say anything about my pregnancy at the wedding.
Jim: Absolutely. 'Cause not everyone knows and some people might be offended.
Angela: Decent people everywhere will be offended.
Pam: Well, we're thinking of my grandmother who we haven't told and is very old-fashioned.
Angela: Well, you're lucky you have a grandmother. Some of us have to be our own grandmothers.

Angela: The man is wearing sandals. I don't need to see Oscar's toes at work. Gross! I mean he looks like he just got off the boat.
Toby: Can't you just not look at his feet?
Angela: Excuse me? Oh. You're so educated, aren't you Toby? So trained to deal with a hysterical woman. I don't want to look at his feet. Do your job!

Angela: OK, fine. You can have your tent, but only if it's in a field. A hand-plowed field.
Andy: Done, and done-er.
Angela: There has to be a barn that's old enough that you can see the stars through the roof slats when you lay on your back. And antique tools to look at when you roll over.
Andy: Do you have a specific place in mind?
Angela: But anything within a 5 to 8 mile radius is acceptable.
Andy: On it!

Angela: Dwight has been practicing karate for years. When we were dating, I would help him with his strength training. He would strap me to his chest in a Baby Bjorn made for fat children and do lunges across the farm. I felt like I was flying.

Oscar: Wow, it's so... healthy.
Kevin: I'm going to call him Little Kevin.
Angela: No, you will not.
Erin: Is he really five pounds?
Angela: Mm-hmm.
Erin: Because I squat with five pounds. This- [squats, grunts] yeah, this feels like more than that.
Senator Lipton: No, no, no, he's nine pounds, seven ounces.
Angela: Nine pounds? Really? I thought you said five. You know what? I was under so many drugs, I felt like I was at a James Taylor concert or something, oh.

Angela: Attention, everyone. Comstock is still available. Oscar has been flirting with adopting him. But still hasn't given me a definite yes or no.
Oscar: Definitely no.
Angela: Fine. For any interested candidates, I will be conducting 20 minute interviews. My ideal situation would an independently wealthy cute couple with a strong commitment to education. Black or white, I'm fine with either, but not both. [to Pam] Listen, you're in this, but you need to wow me, okay?

Angela: I wouldn't know. I never lived with a gay guy.
Oscar: Angela, you just were-
Angela: [sobbing] I love him.
Oscar: I know. I understand more than most, but we both have to move on. You- You can't—
Angela: No, not the senator. I love Dwight.

Angela: And I lied to you.
Dwight K. Schrute: What?
Angela: Philip's your son.
Dwight K. Schrute: What? Why would you say that-
Angela: I just needed you to want to marry me because you wanted to marry me.
Dwight K. Schrute: [excited] Get out! I'm a dad!
Angela: You're a dad!

Angela: We are giving money that has been gambled. Why don't we just deal drugs or prostitute ourselves, and donate that money to charity?