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‘The Dundies’ Quotes

The Office: The Dundies

201. The Dundies

Aired September 20, 2005

Michael hosts the annual awards party, "The Dundies", for his co-workers at Dunder Mifflin.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: This is a little character I like to do. It is loosely based on Karnak, one of Carson's classic characters. Here we go. The PLO, the IRA, and the hotdog stand behind the warehouse. [opening an envelope] Name three businesses that have better healthcare plans than Dunder Mifflin.

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Quote from Michael Scott

Dwight K. Schrute: And mine are at home in a display case above my bed.
Michael Scott: Yuck! TMI. TMI, my friends. [to camera] TMI? Too Much Information. It's just easier to say TMI. I used to say, "Don't go there," but that's lame.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: And now, to someone who goes quietly about their job, but always seems to land the biggest accounts. The Busiest Beaver Award goes to Phyllis Lapin! Yeah! Way to go, Phyllis. Nice work, per usual.
Phyllis: This says, "Bushiest Beaver."
Michael Scott: What? I told them "Busiest." Idiots.
Phyllis: It's fine.
Michael Scott: Well, we can fix it. We'll fix it up. You don't have to display that.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I mean, come on, Jan. What, it's a- You're dropping an A-bomb on me here.
Jan: [on the phone] Really? I'm dropping an atomic bomb on you?
Michael Scott: Well, yeah! I mean what is- What-
Jan: No, you can't. You already had a party on May 5th for no reason.
Michael Scott: No reason? It was the 05-05-05 party. It happens once every billion years.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Tonight is the Dundies, the annual employee awards night here at Dunder Mifflin. And this is everybody's favorite day. Everybody looks forward to it, because, you know, a lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meredith or Kevin. I mean, who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts? Plus, bonus, it's really, really funny. So- I You know, an employee will go home and he'll tell his neighbor, "Hey, did you get an award?" And the neighbor will say, "No, man. I mean, I slave all day. Nobody notices me." The next thing you know, the employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor's house. The neighbor's hanged himself due to lack of recognition.

Quote from Michael Scott

Jan: [on the phone] And a tsunami relief fundraiser which somehow lost a lot of money.
Michael Scott: Okay, no, that was a FUN raiser. I think I made that very clear in the fliers, fun, F-U-N.
Jan: Okay, well, I don't understand why anyone would have a tsunami FUN raiser, Michael. I mean, that doesn't even make sense.
Michael Scott: Well, I think a lot of people were very affected by the footage.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Excuse me, everyone. Can I have your attention, please? I just wanted to say that the women in this office are terrible. Especially the ones who wrote that stuff about Michael on the bathroom wall.
Having a bathroom is a privilege. It is called a ladies' room for a reason, and if you cannot behave like ladies, well, then you are not going to have a bathroom.
Pam: You're taking away our bathroom?
Dwight K. Schrute: We are going to have two men's rooms.
Phyllis: But where would we go?
Dwight K. Schrute: Be prepared to hold it, folks. From 9:00 a.m-

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Welcome to the Eighth Annual Dundies Awards. Before we get started, a few announcements. Keep your acceptance speeches short. I have wrap-it-up music and I am not afraid to use it, Devon.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: The Spicy Curry Award goes to our very own Kelly Kapoor! Get on up here! There you go.
Kelly: "Spicy Curry." What's that mean?
Michael Scott: Not everything means something. It's just a joke.
Kelly: Yeah, but why'd you give it to me?
Michael Scott: I don't know. I just-
Kelly: This is a bowler.
Michael Scott: I know. It's- They didn't have any more businessmen.
Kelly: Yeah, but everyone else-
Michael Scott: Just sit down, Kelly.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: It's so freaking hot in there. Now I know what Bob Hope was going through when he performed in Saudi Arabia. Man!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: This last Dundie is for Kevin. This is the "Don't Go In There After Me" Award. It's for the time that I went to the bathroom after him and it was really, really smelly.

Quote from Stanley

Stanley: Well, last year I got Great Work, so I don't know what to think about this award. But at least I didn't get Smelliest Bowel Movement like Kevin.

Quote from Pam

Michael Scott: And this next award is going out to our own little Pam Beesly. I think we all know what award Pam is gonna be getting this year. It is the Whitest Sneakers Award, because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on. Get on down here! Pam Beesley, ladies and gentlemen! Oh, here we go.
Pam: I have so many people to thank for this award. Okay, first off, my Keds, because I couldn't have done it without them. Thank you. Let's give Michael a round of applause for emceeing tonight, because this is a lot harder than it looks. And also because of Dwight, too. So, finally, I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundie and I feel God in this Chili's tonight. Whoo!

Quote from Jim

Jim: What a great year for the Dundies. We got to see Ping and we learned Michael's true feelings for Ryan, which was touching. And we heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs, which, for me, has ruined them for life.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: This woman is having a seizure. Grab her tongue! Grab her tongue! It's okay, I'm a Sheriff's Deputy.
Jim: Well, he's a volunteer.
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't get into that now. We need something to cushion her head. Throw pillow, a cushion... Okay, I'm gonna use my shirt.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Was this year's Dundies a success? Well, let me see. I made Pam laugh so hard that she fell out of her chair and she almost broke her neck. So I killed, almost.


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