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‘Classy Christmas’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

The Office: Classy Christmas

711. Classy Christmas

Aired December 9, 2010

Michael scraps the planned Christmas party in favor of a Classy Christmas when he learns that Holly Flax is returning to Scranton. Michael's hopes are dashed when Holly arrives in and is still seeing someone. Meanwhile, Jim lives to regret throwing the first snowball at Dwight.

Quote from Stanley

Stanley: So do they bring in food, or do you get to go out?
Toby: No, they bring it in.
Stanley: You lucky son of a bitch.
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit in an air-conditioned room downtown, judging people while my lunch is paid for... That is the life.

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Quote from Kelly

Holly: Okay, listen, I'm gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose by the end of this year, we're over.
Pam: Wow, an ultimatum.
Holly: Yeah.
Pam: It doesn't really seem like you.
Kelly: That is a great idea. Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.

Quote from Darryl

Darryl: I feel good today. My little girl, Jada, it's my turn to have her for Christmas this year. Two years ago, I had her and we had the best time. I Tivo'd her favorite shows, some things I've never heard of. iCarly... You know who's funny on that show? The friend with the video camera. He's got a nice way of talking.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I have no feeling in my fingers or penis. But I think it was worth it.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when your gonna need to bear a passing resemblance to someone.

Quote from Holly

Holly: [as Clint Eastwood] Well, well, well, if it isn't Michael Scott. You old bastard.
Michael Scott: [imitating her] Well, I never thought I'd see your face around these parts, you old bastard.
Holly: Well I did show my face around these parts, you old bastard.
Michael Scott: [as Curly] Why, you're some sorta wise guy, huh?
Holly: [as Curly] I most certainly am.
Michael Scott: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
Holly: Ungh!
Michael Scott: [as Homer] D'oh!
Holly: [as Marge] Oh, Homey.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Oh, and you have a Woody. Bah! [the both chuckle] Oh, I love toy...
Holly: AJ gave me that.
Michael Scott: Well, that's understandable. Still raw. Woody your favorite character?
Holly: Mm-hmm.
Michael Scott: You know who my favorite character in Toy Story is? Andy's mom.
Holly: Why?
Michael Scott: Because without Andy's mom, there's no plot. And without any plot, there is no movie.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Man, I worked hard. I worked so hard for this! I was after corporate constantly. I emailed Jo. I wrote letters. And, know who I end up owing this to is the Scranton Strangler. Thank you. Thank you, Scranton Strangler. I love you! You just took one more person's breath away.

Quote from Toby

Phyllis: What's the case, Toby?
Toby: Well, I really can't talk about it, but it's a very high profile case.
Andy: Is it criminal?
Toby: Yes.
Andy: Have we heard of it?
Toby: I don't know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is it the middle school teacher who tried to turn her foreign exchange student into a sex slave?
Toby: Come on.
Meredith: Was it the post office guy who rubbed his penis all over the mail?
Toby: Guys, it's a really big deal.
Ryan: He's rubbing his neck. He's rubbing his neck!
Kelly: He's rubbing his neck.
Ryan: He's rubbing his neck.
Andy: Oh, Scranton Strangler!
Toby: I can neither confirm nor deny this. Let's just say I'll be up to my neck in jury duty.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Hey there, Jada. Nice to see you again. I'm Santa Claus. Welcome.
Darryl: Are you serious?
Michael Scott: It's a sophisticated take.
Jada: He doesn't look like Santa Claus.
Darryl: No, he doesn't. [to Michael] I told her Santa would be here.
Michael Scott: Yeah, well, I was told that Holly would be here, single and ready to date. And we all got misled.
Pam: Who told you that?
Michael Scott: Nora Ephron, in every romantic comedy ever made.

Quote from Pam

Pam: I've been working forever on Jim's present. He always gives me the best Christmas gifts. He'll take a memory or a private joke, and he'll create something totally unique. I love them. So this year I made him something. A comic book. It stars Jimmy Halpert, a mild-mannered paper salesman who, while riding his bike through the forest, is bitten by a radioactive bear, becomes 'bear man'. Wreaks havoc on the office. It's really good.

Quote from Toby

Toby: I know people are only this excited to talk to me because of the trial. But, they talk to me for a while, and maybe people realize I have something to say. And then one day, we're just talking.

Quote from Meredith

Angela: I don't know if you guys have had a chance to use the new parking meters that accept credit cards, but Robert was instrumental in that legislation.
Kevin: Wow, that's awesome!
Oscar: A real David and Goliath story.
Robert: I'm just so touched that she's so interested in my work.
Angela: I am.
Meredith: The real problem is the teachers' union.
Angela: Zip it, Meredith.
Meredith: No. You tell me why my kid is 17 and still can't read.

Quote from Pam

Pam: I'm the office administrator now, which means I'm basically being paid to be head of the party planning committee. The first thing I did as head, I shut it down. At its worst, it was a toxic political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best, it planned parties.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: [as Santa] Oh, ho, ho, ho! Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, little children!
All: Merry Christmas.
Michael Scott: How's everybody doing today?
Erin: Good.
Michael Scott: How's the party coming along?
Pam: Great.
Michael Scott: Are we over budget?
Pam: Nope.
Michael Scott: No? Good. Did anyone get drunk already?
Meredith: Not yet!
Michael Scott: Good for you. Angela, lay it on me. What's the problem?
Angela: Nothing. Should be fun.
Michael Scott: So, Stanley, how big is the bug up your butt today?
Stanley: [upbeat] Pam got those sugar-free cookies I like. I'm doing fine.
Michael Scott: Alright. Well, I will be in my office making toys for the good children. Andy?
Andy: Yeah?
Michael Scott: Whatcha got?
Andy: All good, Santa.
Michael Scott: Well, that's a relief. Santa's gonna take some much-needed free time. Alright. Good!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: My kids are growing up. As a boss, I look at that and say great. It is exactly what a boss would hope would happen because that's what I want. That's what every boss wants is a, is a wonderful Christmas with no drama.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: It's present time, you guys. Happy Holidays from your friends at Sabre.
Gabe: We just want to say how grateful we are.
[aside to camera:]
Kelly: Sabre is actively looking for ways to involve me as minority executive trainee. So I suggested choosing the annual Christmas gift to the employees. And they said, "Oh, yes. Perfect. Thank you, Kelly. Finally, something for you to do."

Quote from Gabe

Gabe: [to camera] Yes, Erin and I are still dating. Why do you ask me so often if we're still dating?

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: Hey, it's snowing.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, my God! It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate, and cuddle up with Papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams, hmm? It's not even a real snow. Look, it's a dusting. Pitiful.

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