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69Quotes from ‘Classy Christmas’

The Office: Classy Christmas

711. Classy Christmas

Aired December 9, 2010

Michael scraps the planned Christmas party in favor of a Classy Christmas when he learns that Holly Flax is returning to Scranton. Michael's hopes are dashed when Holly arrives in and is still seeing someone. Meanwhile, Jim lives to regret throwing the first snowball at Dwight.

Quote from Stanley

Stanley: So do they bring in food, or do you get to go out?
Toby: No, they bring it in.
Stanley: You lucky son of a bitch.
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit in an air-conditioned room downtown, judging people while my lunch is paid for... That is the life.

Quote from Kelly

Holly: Okay, listen, I'm gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose by the end of this year, we're over.
Pam: Wow, an ultimatum.
Holly: Yeah.
Pam: It doesn't really seem like you.
Kelly: That is a great idea. Ultimatums are key. Basically, nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.

Quote from Holly

Holly: [as Clint Eastwood] Well, well, well, if it isn't Michael Scott. You old bastard.
Michael Scott: [imitating her] Well, I never thought I'd see your face around these parts, you old bastard.
Holly: Well I did show my face around these parts, you old bastard.
Michael Scott: [as Curly] Why, you're some sorta wise guy, huh?
Holly: [as Curly] I most certainly am.
Michael Scott: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
Holly: Ungh!
Michael Scott: [as Homer] D'oh!
Holly: [as Marge] Oh, Homey.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I have no feeling in my fingers or penis. But I think it was worth it.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when your gonna need to bear a passing resemblance to someone.

Quote from Darryl

Darryl: I feel good today. My little girl, Jada, it's my turn to have her for Christmas this year. Two years ago, I had her and we had the best time. I Tivo'd her favorite shows, some things I've never heard of. iCarly... You know who's funny on that show? The friend with the video camera. He's got a nice way of talking.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Oh, and you have a Woody. Bah! [the both chuckle] Oh, I love toy...
Holly: AJ gave me that.
Michael Scott: Well, that's understandable. Still raw. Woody your favorite character?
Holly: Mm-hmm.
Michael Scott: You know who my favorite character in Toy Story is? Andy's mom.
Holly: Why?
Michael Scott: Because without Andy's mom, there's no plot. And without any plot, there is no movie.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Man, I worked hard. I worked so hard for this! I was after corporate constantly. I emailed Jo. I wrote letters. And, know who I end up owing this to is the Scranton strangler. Thank you. Thank you, Scranton strangler. I love you! You just took one more person's breath away.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Hey there, Jada. Nice to see you again. I'm Santa Claus. Welcome.
Darryl: Are you serious?
Michael Scott: It's a sophisticated take.
Jada: He doesn't look like Santa Claus.
Darryl: No, he doesn't. [to Michael] I told her Santa would be here.
Michael Scott: Yeah, well, I was told that Holly would be here, single and ready to date. And we all got misled.
Pam: Who told you that?
Michael Scott: Nora Ephron, in every romantic comedy ever made.

Quote from Pam

Pam: I've been working forever on Jim's present. He always gives me the best Christmas gifts. He'll take a memory or a private joke, and he'll create something totally unique. I love them. So this year I made him something. A comic book. It stars Jimmy Halpert, a mild-mannered paper salesman who, while riding his bike through the forest, is bitten by a radioactive bear, becomes 'bear man'. Wreaks havoc on the office. It's really good.

Quote from Toby

Toby: I know people are only this excited to talk to me because of the trial. But, they talk to me for a while, and maybe people realize I have something to say. And then one day, we're just talking.

Quote from Meredith

Angela: I don't know if you guys have had a chance to use the new parking meters that accept credit cards, but Robert was instrumental in that legislation.
Kevin: Wow, that's awesome!
Oscar: A real David and Goliath story.
Robert: I'm just so touched that she's so interested in my work.
Angela: I am.
Meredith: The real problem is the teachers' union.
Angela: Zip it, Meredith.
Meredith: No. You tell me why my kid is 17 and still can't read.

Quote from Meredith

Meredith: What does the strangler look like? Is he gorgeous? He looks gorgeous in the drawings.
Kevin: Yeah.
Meredith: That scowl.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Um, I was laying on the ground, defenseless, and uh, he just kept throwing 'em until he exhausted himself. And, uh, [cell phone chimes] then... [reading text message] "How 'bout icing it? LOL. Dwight."

Quote from Ryan

Pam: So, cool right?
Ryan: There's no connection between the origin story and the quest.
Pam: Okay.
Ryan: We need to know who Jimmy Halpert was before he was bitten by the bear. Otherwise, it's the bear's quest.
Pam: Okay, well, I just sorta meant, like, cute, right?
Ryan: Well, did you come here for help, or did you come here for me to tell you how great it is?
Pam: I mean, help, if it's something simple, like add page numbers or laminate it or...
Ryan: Well, it sounds like you know what you want. [as Pam walks away] It's also a little derivative of a serial called 'Bear Man'. Did you look that up?

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: All this arguing reminds me of a very funny story. You see this on my desk? [he holds up a toy taxi cab] Know who gave me this? My girlfriend Tara, who lives in New York City.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait, what girlfriend?
Michael Scott: I haven't told you about her.
Dwight K. Schrute: I find that unlikely. You email me when you get a new zit.
Michael Scott: I'm a man in my mid-40s and I still get zits. I think that's pretty interesting. But you know what? I am not on trial here. The Scranton strangler is. So, anyway, we have this great weekend, and she drives me to the airport, and we get to JFK, but I am flying out of LaGuardia. So we laugh and laugh and laugh, and then we spend the rest of the day walking around slo-mo, drinking latte. And at the end of the day, she gives me this, and she says, "Michael, maybe next time, you should take a cab."
Holly: I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
Michael Scott: I do. She is.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Did you see her face? Well it seems to me that there is a person sitting out there in the annex that still has feelings for Michael G. Scott. And it ain't Tara.

Quote from Kevin

Holly: You guys, it wasn't my fault.
Kevin: Oh, nothing is ever your fault! Just like when you ate those maple candies that you brought for us!

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: [finds a present on his desk] "Hey, Pickles, Merry Christmas. Open immediately. Love, Swiss Cheese." [opens the box and a snowball is catapulted at his face] Damn it, Dwight!
Dwight K. Schrute: Didn't think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim? Let that be a lesson to you all.

Quote from Oscar

Angela: Hey everybody, this is my boyfriend, Senator Robert Lipton.
Robert: Hi.
Oscar: Senator, it's an honor. I'm Angela's friend Oscar.
Robert: Oscar. A pleasure.
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: Robert seems great. He's very handsome, firm handshake, he's gay, good sense of humor.

Quote from Creed

Darryl: What do you want, baby? We got some granola, got some cupcakes, chips, apples, pies...
Jada: You have a whole room of vending machines?
Creed: [chuckles] I know. Isn't it something?

Quote from Jim

Pam: Oh, um, it's just, I didn't, I didn't have a lot of time, so that's just a place holder.
Jim: Right. Of course. "The Adventures of Jimmy Halpert." Oh, my God. This is awesome! That's my bike. That's my desk. And that is my daughter.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: I mean... [speechless]

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Don't run. You're going to slip.
Pam: That's good advice.
Michael Scott: I read this story about a woman who slipped on some black ice, and she hit her head and went into a coma forever. And then every day, her husband went and visited her in the hospital until she died.
Pam: That's a sad story.
Michael Scott: [voice breaking] Yeah, well, at least he was married.

Quote from Kelly

Michael Scott: I was in the mall, and I saw that, and I thought it had your name written all over it.
Kelly: Michael, this is the gift that corporate gave us that I picked out. You're re-gifting this to me.
Michael Scott: No, that's not- No, I went to the mall and I picked that out especially for you.
Kelly: Oh, yeah? Well, show me the receipt.
Michael Scott: [hands Kelly a receipt from his wallet] From the mall. That...
Kelly: This is a fast food receipt from April.
Michael Scott: Well, that...
Kelly: God, how many number nines did you order?

Quote from Pam

Pam: I'm the office administrator now, which means I'm basically being paid to be head of the party planning committee. The first thing I did as head, I shut it down. At its worst, it was a toxic political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best, it planned parties.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: [as Santa] Oh, ho, ho, ho! Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, little children!
All: Merry Christmas.
Michael Scott: How's everybody doing today?
Erin: Good.
Michael Scott: How's the party coming along?
Pam: Great.
Michael Scott: Are we over budget?
Pam: Nope.
Michael Scott: No? Good. Did anyone get drunk already?
Meredith: Not yet!
Michael Scott: Good for you. Angela, lay it on me. What's the problem?
Angela: Nothing. Should be fun.
Michael Scott: So, Stanley, how big is the bug up your butt today?
Stanley: [upbeat] Pam got those sugar-free cookies I like. I'm doing fine.
Michael Scott: Alright. Well, I will be in my office making toys for the good children. Andy?
Andy: Yeah?
Michael Scott: Whatcha got?
Andy: All good, Santa.
Michael Scott: Well, that's a relief. Santa's gonna take some much-needed free time. Alright. Good!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: My kids are growing up. As a boss, I look at that and say great. It is exactly what a boss would hope would happen because that's what I want. That's what every boss wants is a, is a wonderful Christmas with no drama.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: It's present time, you guys. Happy Holidays from your friends at Sabre.
Gabe: We just want to say how grateful we are.
[aside to camera:]
Kelly: Sabre is actively looking for ways to involve me as minority executive trainee. So I suggested choosing the annual Christmas gift to the employees. And they said, "Oh, yes. Perfect. Thank you, Kelly. Finally, something for you to do."

Quote from Gabe

Gabe: [to camera] Yes, Erin and I are still dating. Why do you ask me so often if we're still dating?

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: Hey, it's snowing.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, my God! It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate, and cuddle up with Papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams, hmm? It's not even a real snow. Look, it's a dusting. Pitiful.

Quote from Michael Scott

Toby: Uh, I just wanted to let you know that, uh, I'll be taking a leave of absence starting next week.
Michael Scott: Uh, because you've been on the lam? Because the 'boring police' have been after you, and they finally caught up with you?
Toby: Uh, no, the opposite. I was actually selected to be a juror on a very high-profile case.
Michael Scott: Yes, the case of the horrible red-headed sad sack. And the verdict, it was Toby. And the sentence, death. Death to Toby!
Dwight K. Schrute: Death to Toby!
Toby: Okay, that's hurtful talk. We've talked about that. You know, I don't interrupt your announcements.
Michael Scott: You know what you- You- You leave these huge pauses in your sentences. What do you expect me to do?

Quote from Toby

Phyllis: What's the case, Toby?
Toby: Well, I really can't talk about it, but it's a very high profile case.
Andy: Is it criminal?
Toby: Yes.
Andy: Have we heard of it?
Toby: I don't know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is it the middle school teacher who tried to turn her foreign exchange student into a sex slave?
Toby: Come on.
Meredith: Was it the post office guy who rubbed his penis all over the mail?
Toby: Guys, it's a really big deal.
Ryan: He's rubbing his neck. He's rubbing his neck!
Kelly: He's rubbing his neck.
Ryan: He's rubbing his neck.
Andy: Oh, Scranton Strangler!
Toby: I can neither confirm nor deny this. Let's just say I'll be up to my neck in jury duty.

Quote from Creed

Creed: [about Holly Flax] She's one sassy black lady.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Well, this year's gonna be different. We're gonna have fun. It's not gonna be tacky. It's going to be, you know what, the food is going to be austere. It is not going to be tacky, deli platter food. It's not gonna have a big, fat, gross Santa Claus. It's gonna be cool, sleek Santa.

Quote from Angela

Angela: Maybe I'll bring my boyfriend. I'll invite him.
Michael Scott: Okay. Sure.
Angela: I mean, unless there's any chance there could be press at this party.
Michael Scott: You never know about the press.
Angela: Well, I only ask because he's a senator.
Michael Scott: Could he help us with some parking tickets?
Angela: I don't think that's appropriate.
Michael Scott: Well, then he's not a senator.
Angela: Yes, he is.
Michael Scott: Okay.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Oh, no, no, no, no! Fake tree. No, no!
Pam: No, it has the little...
Michael Scott: Pam, no, no. Holly's coming from New Hampshire. Somebody from New Hampshire looks at that and thinks it's a burning cross.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: [scats] There's nothing classier than boring Jazz music. I am here to tell ya. And I made a bit of a judgment call. I hired one musician, because I thought, what's better, to hire an entire quartet for half an hour, or one bassist for the entire day?

Quote from Kevin

Pam: Hey, uh, any volunteers to come with me to go buy a Christmas tree?
Kevin: I would, but I don't want to get dirty. There might be girls at the party.
Pam: Why do you always think that girls are gonna be at the party? No one invited girls. It's just us.

Quote from Andy

Andy: I will help. Although my 'brid, my hybrid, my Prius hybrid, won't fit a tree. Which is ironic, considering how many trees it saves on a daily basis.
Kevin: Yeah.
Andy: I do, however, have a hookup with a dude who has a pickup.
Pam: Oh, do you mean Darryl? That's a great idea. I'll ask him.
Andy: You know Darryl?
Pam: Yeah. He works here. We all know him.
Andy: I should come along, just 'cause he's my, you know, he's my hookup.

Quote from Erin

Holly: Hi.
Erin: Hello.
Holly: Is there any way I can get a hand with these, please?
Erin: I'm really sorry, I can't help you. I'm waiting for my boss' pretty friend to arrive.

Quote from Holly

Holly: Hi.
Kevin: Did you bring us anything from Nashua?
Holly: Oh, yeah. I brought um, some maple candy. But I have to admit, I got a little hungry on the drive, and I ate some of them.
Michael Scott: That's adorable.
Holly: Would you put those out?
Erin: To throw out? Or put out, like, six pieces for everyone?
Holly: Oh, it's so nice to be back. It looks beautiful in here. Super classy. It's like a party for limousine drivers.

Quote from Michael Scott

Holly: That is a really good point. AJ said he hadn't seen any of the Toy Story movies.
Michael Scott: You're kidding me. Ah!
Holly: No. I know. I was like, "What? Are you serious?"
Michael Scott: What a douche bag!
Holly: Get a life!
Michael Scott: Get a... yeah! Good riddance.
Holly: We sat down and we watched them all in one day.
Michael Scott: Mmhmm.
Holly: Now he's the biggest Toy Story fanatic ever.
Michael Scott: Good for him.
Holly: [holding Woody] Next day I found him in my bed.
Michael Scott: Really? That's creepy. How did AJ get in your house?
Holly: We live together.
Michael Scott: Oh, you do?
Holly: He had a little note pinned to him that said, "You've got a friend in me."
Michael Scott: [fighting back tears] Yeah, Randy Newman's the best.
Holly: Yeah. I love him.
Michael Scott: Me too.

Quote from Andy

Andy: [singing] Christmas tree, Christmas tree. Won't you be my Christmas tree.
Pam: Hey, how about this one?
Andy: Eh, seems a little full of itself, right? Kind of a pretty boy? What if we got a really beat up one, like on Charlie Brown. And we just loved it for what it is?

Quote from Andy

Pam: Hey guys, the tree's here.
Michael Scott: Hey.
Andy: Nobody hug me, I'm covered in tree sap, so...
Oscar: Why would someone hug you?

Quote from Erin

Pam: [to Holly] Um, how are you adjusting to the move?
Phyllis: Nobody cares about that. Look, you have to make him commit, or kick his butt to the curb.
Pam: You guys, I don't think any of us are really qualified to be giving Holly personal advice about her love life.
Erin: Yeah, I mean, maybe Holly's not in any position to be shooing guys away.
[aside to camera:]
Erin: I don't get it! I'm sorry. I just, I don't get it!

Quote from Gabe

Angela: It's so cold. Even with my coat on.
Meredith: Maybe your senator boyfriend has a blanket in his car for screwing Americans.
Gabe: Yet another opportunity where a blanket would have come in handy.

Quote from Holly

Holly: You guys, this has to stop. Someone could have really gotten hurt.
Michael Scott: What if Meredith was taking her smoking break below that window? You know what would have happened? The shards of glass would have shaved her face right off. And, yes, it might have been funny. But it also would have been incredibly tragic.
Dwight K. Schrute: I could not agree more. And just want to state for the record that I am intending to sue Jim for acute psychological distress.
Jim: What are you talking about? You're the one terrorizing me.
Dwight K. Schrute: With snowballs, Jim? With fluffy little snowballs? No. I thought we were just playing.
Holly: Dwight's right. What you did was dangerous and inappropriate. I'm really surprised at you guys. Last time I was here, you were both best friends.

Quote from Phyllis

Phyllis: So you went homemade this year?
Pam: Yup.
Phyllis: Yeah. Money problems, is that what this is about? I mean, oh, dear, I don't think we can help you out.
Pam: No, no. Jim had a great year, actually. I just wanted to get your opinion.
Phyllis: Are you good at homemade?
Pam: Look at this.
Phyllis: Yeah...

Quote from Kevin

Holly: [walks in with a dirty Woody] Who did this? It's obvious to me I'm not welcome here, but somebody better tell me who did this, or else I'm leaving.
Phyllis: Well, I don't think Erin seems to like you.
Erin: That's not true. I don't know her enough to make a decision even.
Michael Scott: What happened? What happened? Toby, what did you do? I think Toby's very jealous of all the attention you've been getting.
Toby: No, I would never ever do anything like that. But it does seem like something you would do.
Michael Scott: Oh, really? Turn it on me. Well, isn't that nice? Thank you very much.
Kevin: Wait, wait, guys, listen. Toy Story is all about toys that come to life when people aren't looking. You don't think- It's not possible- That Woody did this to himself.
Michael Scott: It is Christmas.

Quote from Jim

Angela: No, it really seems like something Michael would do.
Michael Scott: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, the fact that you would think that points to the possibility that it is probably not me. And that I have been framed.
Andy: Why would anyone frame you for that?
Jim: Okay, I'm sorry, why are we discounting this whole "Woody came to life" thing so quickly?

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Ahhhhhh! [laughs] Surprise! It was part of the party. Pretty funny, huh?
Holly: You think this is funny?
Michael Scott: [laughs] I don't. But someday I think we will laugh about this... when we tell our kids...
Jim: Yikes.
Kevin: Oh no, that's, that's not happening.
Dwight K. Schrute: Dear God in heaven.

Quote from Erin

Erin: I really think you're better off.
Michael Scott: Mmm. Erin, would you do me a favor and find my street clothes for me, please?
Erin: Yeah. Is she an amazing cook or something?

Quote from Darryl

Pam: Jada, Darryl, I'm so glad I found you guys. A Grinch stole the star from on top of the Christmas tree and is hiding it in the warehouse somewhere. You want to go help me find him?
[entering the warehouse:]
Pam: Oh, my goodness.
Andy: I am the mean old grinch. The little girl who wishes to win back the Christmas star must first succeed at these challenges.
Darryl: Oh, that sounds fun and Christmasy, you mean old Grinch!
Jada: What kind of challenges?
Andy: Wahhh...
Pam: Something like an obstacle course, Mr. Grinch?
Andy: No. You must answer topical political questions. How many congressmen is the state of Pennsylvania guaranteed? And what other state has the equal number?
Jada: I don't know.
Andy: Do you know the other state?
Darryl: Maybe the Grinch hid the Christmas star, and we could ask for clues, and he'll tell us if we're hot or cold.
Andy: The star has been hidden. Is the little girl hot or cold? Well, it turns out she's burning up because the star is right behind her ear!
Darryl: And the game's over seconds later.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: [to AJ] Good, good. Good to see you. Have fun. Enjoy the partay.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: I am dead inside.

Quote from Pam

Pam: Oh, okay, Michael, slow down. Everything's gonna be okay.
Michael Scott: No, it's not. It's not. Oh, man, I can tell you confidently that it is not gonna be okay.
Pam: I shouldn't tell you this, but... AJ won't commit to Holly. And she's gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose to her by the end of the year, it's over.
Michael Scott: Really?
Pam: Really. And I don't know about you, but I don't know of a lot of happy marriages that start off with an ultimatum, do you?
Michael Scott: No.
Pam: So just be patient.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: I surrender.
Dwight K. Schrute: I do not accept your surrender. There's only one way that I would ever relent.
Jim: Anything. You got it.
Dwight K. Schrute: You hit Pam in the face with a snowball while I watch.
Jim: You're a psychopath.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'll take that as a no.

Quote from Michael Scott

Darryl: Hey, Mike.
Michael Scott: Hey.
Darryl: We wanted to give you something.
Michael Scott: Oh.
Jada: Merry Christmas.
Michael Scott: Thank you. A Hostess apple pie! This is my favorite breakfast. How did you know that? Thank you very much.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Oh, you know, I seem to remember that Santa promised that he would listen to all the gifts you wanted for Christmas. Didn't he say that?
Jada: Yeah.
Michael Scott: I think I know where he is.
Jada: A trampoline...
Michael Scott: Mmhmm.
Jada: Video games.
Michael Scott: Video games.
Jada: A DSi.
Michael Scott: A DSi?
Jada: A horse.
Michael Scott: A horse.
Jada: A pool.
Michael Scott: You, are you sure you don't want a pony? You want a real horse?
Jada: Yes.
Michael Scott: All right. You have to pick up after them.

Quote from Kevin

Michael Scott: People, wait, wait, wait. Come back, come back. One fun one. We're gonna do a fun one.
Jim: One Charlie's Angels. One. Let's go.
Pam: Okay, this is just a Christmas card from your paper supplier. No one's putting this on their fridge.
Kevin: Oh, I got it. You guys, how 'bout this. Michael, what if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other. The boys are like, 'Why I oughta', and the girls are like, 'Let's go shopping!'.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: You gotta be kidding me. Who isn't jumping?
Dwight K. Schrute: I'll tell you who. Darryl, Phyllis, Stanley, Angela, and Oscar.
Phyllis: I am jumping.
Dwight K. Schrute: You are?
Phyllis: Yes, I'm jumping.
Dwight K. Schrute: Let me see you jump. Oh, my God. This is a store bought-camera. This isn't one of those special military-grade cameras that would be able to capture that.

Quote from Michael Scott

Pam: I'm freezing.
Nate: Um, also, Erin is jumping way too early. She's on the ground by 'three'.
Erin: I didn't want to miss it.
Andy: Well, if we all jump really high, we'll be in the air longer. Do that.
Oscar: Here's a question nobody's asking: Is this worth it?
Michael Scott: Don't answer that. People, listen up and listen good. We need to just get one picture where we're all in the air at the same time. Yes?
Oscar: Why?
Michael Scott: I believe in us. We can do this. Here we go.
Nate: Okay, on three. Uh, everyone in the air. Three, [some jump] two, [more jump] one, [others jump] zero.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: We didn't get it.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: It's a Hello Kitty laptop sleeve.
Andy: Hello Kitty's for girls.
Pam: Nashua got MP3 players.
Phyllis: Yeah, I don't even have a laptop.
Kelly: I wonder if these presents would be under as much scrutiny if I were white.
Meredith: Wow.
Phyllis: Oh God.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, come on.
Kelly: I said, "I wonder." I didn't say, "I think."
Gabe: Kelly, I thought we agreed on fleece blankets.
Kelly: Blankets, what am I, five?

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Damn it, Jim, you cannot throw snowballs in here!
Jim: Well, it's not a snowball, 'cause it's only a dusting. Right?
Dwight K. Schrute: Look at that. There's a pebble in there. You coulda killed me.
Phyllis: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Stanley: Yeah, who's a little girl now?
Dwight K. Schrute: You apologize to me right now.
Jim: You've got something on your nose.
Dwight K. Schrute: You apologize right now.
Jim: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Very well. Then I challenge you to a snowball fight on the first real snow of winter.
Jim: You got it.

Quote from Angela

Kevin: Angela, are you bringing you new boyfriend to the party?
Angela: I wouldn't subject Robert to that. He's a very busy senator.
Oscar: State senator.
Angela: I would not expect you to know what it's like to date someone in the public arena.
Oscar: Who are you dating in the public arena?
Angela: The senator.
Kevin: Oh, right. The state senator.
Angela: We went to a picnic thrown by the Comptroller's wife.
Kevin: Oh, that would be impressive. If anyone knew what a comptroller was.
Oscar: Well...
[aside to camera:]
Angela: Do you have any idea how many photographers there are at a ribbon-cutting ceremony. I do. Two. "Angela... over here, Angela... here. Look here!"

Quote from Pam

Pam: Before we kick off the party, I just want to remind everyone that an office party is just that.
Michael Scott: Yeah!
Pam: A party. It's not an excuse to get really drunk or confront someone or have a cathartic experience of any kind.
Michael Scott: Pam? Pam?
Dwight K. Schrute: Pam?
Pam: Wow, there are, there are questions to that. Okay. Um, you know what, no questions.

Quote from Michael Scott

Toby: Corporate will be sending someone else to take my place for a while.
Michael Scott: Okay. Okay goodbye, goodbye.
Toby: Uh, Holly Flax, she comes from the Nashua branch.
Michael Scott: What? What?
Toby: Yeah, uh, she'll be starting next week. If you have any questions about the transition, just let me know.
Michael Scott: Hold on, Holly's coming back here?
Toby: Yeah.
Erin: Guys, who's Holly?
Michael Scott: That is a great question, Erin. How do you describe somebody who is at the same time an old friend, and was a lover, and was a complicated part of my past, and maybe, just maybe a part of my future?

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Holly's coming back, everybody, and we have to have a party.
Gabe: I'm not sure the temporary replacement of an H.R. rep really warrants a party.
Michael Scott: You know what, we'll postpone this party until then. This is too important. Cancel this one. Dwight get rid of the tree.

Quote from Michael Scott

Pam: Michael. Michael, wait we don't have- We don't have the budget for another party.
Michael Scott: Well then everybody'll chip in, it'll be fine.
Pam: I honestly think you're idealizing people here again, Michael. I don't think that's gonna happen.
Michael Scott: You know what, I'll pay for it. I'll pay for the party. It doesn't matter. This is way too important. People, Holly's coming back, and this is the most important Christmas party of my life. So back to work.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: We have always had good Christmas parties here, as you know, but they've never been cool. [as Sean Connery] The name is Bond... Santa Bond. I'll have an eggnog, shaken, not stirred. Classic Brosnan.


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